When tragedy breeds mare-acles(miracles)

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duithy

duithy #1 · Jun 9th, 2022 · · · Chapter 1: Meeting Part 1 ·

Not bad, is English a second language to you? I ask because English does not use upside down punctuation at the start of sentences. Also you had cartoon box’s in your story that were likely cardboard boxes and her department was probably an apartment. But all that said still it’s pretty good.

Sofocles the Drake

Sofocles the Drake #2 · Jun 9th, 2022 · 1 · · Chapter 1: Meeting Part 1 ·

11267182
Yeah, im a native spanish speaker, so sorry for any language mistakes. Also, yeah i meant to put apartment and cardboard box, probably at the moment my mind did not think of the proper words. Might correct it later. Happy you like it so far. Will try to upload as soon as i can.
Also, ¿any feedback or "2 cents" you can give?. Since this is my first story im thinking perhaps im rushing things, i tought about starting to introduce the Mare OC with actual clop with clients before eventually the thing with the religious extremist stallion. Might put some of that later as flashbacks or something though.

Armored_Shadow

Armored_Shadow #3 · Jun 10th, 2022 · 1 · · Chapter 1: meeting part 2 ·

Ok, you caught my attention. Interesting first chapter

carlos1802

carlos1802 #4 · Jun 18th, 2022 · · · Chapter 1: meeting part 2 ·

Dude, I loved this first chapter, need to read the next

Armored_Shadow

Armored_Shadow #5 · Jun 7th, 2023 · · · Chapter 1: meeting part 2 ·

Any chance of a next chapter?

Sofocles the Drake

Sofocles the Drake #6 · Jun 16th, 2023 · 1 · · Chapter 1: meeting part 2 ·

11603816
yup, working on it currently. I ditched the idea of redooing it from zero so i will finish it and THEN "remake it".

Starlight Nova

Starlight Nova #7 · Jun 17th, 2023 · 1 · · Charity is always paid with blood. ·

Why don’t you refer to the main character by name?

Sofocles the Drake

Sofocles the Drake #8 · Jun 17th, 2023 · 2 · · Charity is always paid with blood. ·

11612353
I like to use context. See, while we readers know who she is, the ponies there at the time dont. So while writting her in a context when no one knows her name, not using her name in the narrating until it is mentioned and digested by the other entities of the context it allows to paint a more "in the story" kind of feel for the reader.

At least i feel its that way.

Hillbe