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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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THE CLIFFHANGERS DOOOOUUGGGH
Ooooh shit. Time's up, Rarity.
I was about to comment on how the story is not so hearth wrenching as before, but them i read the chapter. Goddamn, this story is so good.
Masterfully done, as always!
The next chapter is likely to be a dreamwalking sequence that would baffle Luna herself.
And I can't wait to read it. :)
think she
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Beautiful chapter, and now I can't wait to see how Dash responds to the wreck that Rarity's become. Especially since nopony sees behind the mask she wears long enough to actually care for her life beyond the "perfect mare of class" that she comes off as.
Silly Rarity. You can't run away from your troubles with a train, especially when one of those is Rainbow Dash!
I'm very keen to see the next chapter. Rarity's self-loathing needs a solid kick in the face, and a dose of perspective, and Dash seems like the ideal pony to deliver both.
Oh jeez, all of the emotion on Rarity's shoulders come out even more here, to where it was becoming hard to read just how upset she was with herself. I had to keep reading though because of how well it was written.
And what you left us with in the end? I've been waiting for this for awhile now.
Excellent work as always
DJRD
Dash... just how can you stand it to always be so loyal? Doesn't it tear you apart?
Atempting to bear the burden of others, for it is the nature of generosity
Doing all she can to help the one who pulled her from the darkness make the same recovery she has, for that is the nature of loyalty.
Both elements at their apex become sacrifice, the giving of ones own happiness in the hopes of passing it on to another. Can either find happiness when they are so quick to give it up for the other?
And now it's Rarity's turn. This has been a long time coming.
*Sigh* And once again I am reminded how much farther I have to come before I'll be even as CLOSE to as good as Senpai.
Damnit man, another amazing chapter. I always forget just how much I enjoy your writing. One question though... just how rumbled was Sweetie's coat ;)
Friggin love your work man, almost joined the naval medical corps to join you and your buddies out there if I wasn't so fat, and the navy not looking for neuro docs.
I love the way you gave Rarity and Dash a deeper insight into each other's core character, the things that we already knew about them - and that they already knew about each other - but which often seem to have little more than a surface value attached to them. Everything you've written has led up to those realizations and hit them home beautifully.
So damn good!!!!
Rainbow seems to have her dash back, good to see. Now for the second part of the healing to begin.
The next chapter's going to be glorious. Absolutely incredible work thus far, Cold.
this chapter; this whole chapter was practically a set up for the next one............and it was awesome and I'm soooo ready for the next one
I read the original. I should, theoretically, know exactly what happens next.
Somehow that's not nearly good enough.
I crave this story as one might crave water in the desert.
Can't believe I didn't snap this up the day it updated. Shame on me.
How do you come across such wonderful vocabulary? Terms like "artifice to her mien" and "bucolic woods and pastures" leave me intrigued and impressed. You're not just throwing out words that *sound* intelligent - you're actually using them properly, and it heightens the impact of the detail. I love it!
...is "rumbled" supposed to be "rumpled"? It would make more sense that way.
"Thinks he" should probably be "think she".
4225075
Got em, thanks.
It's weird. I feel like this gesture is significantly less effective with hands.
I may just be a terrible person, but Rarity's dramatic internal monologue at the start of the chapter was really kind of funny.
Huh, well there's the answer to my wonderment about flying pregnant pegasi. At least where Fluttershy is concerned, they apparently mostly just don't.
Oooo, and a second conversation with Twilight that goes fairly poorly. All things considered, this day is not off to a good start. I'm assuming this takes place chronologically before Dash's return to the library at the end of the previous chapter?
Need to catch a train? There's a pony for that.
Well, there we go. Turnabout is fair play and all, and Dash isn't the only one who needs a bit of an intervention.
Rarity being foolish, Dash getting her comeuppance...
Only a few chapters left. I do hope Rarity does something that makes her less despicable.
"Rarity?” Sweetie asked. Her voice was quiet, in deference to the still morning. “Are you… is everything alright?”
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Move down a line.
_____________
indifference to the still morning. “Are you… is everything alright?”
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That's still odd now that I notice it. Especially since it never got any backstory / mention onto why it changed.
______________________
Move down a line.
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And now we get to Rare's bit.
6317918 Deference is the right word. Indifference would actually be the exact opposite of the line. Deference, to defer to something, like out of respect.
6457439
Ah. Then it still needs to be connected rather than broken in the middle like it is. Thanks for the grammar catch.
You missed a couple more things when retconning. Some stuff when Rarity goes into the castle and then suddenly is walking into "the Library".
I know it's been forever since this was published, I just hate seeing such easily missed things in an otherwise fantastic story.
This is from another chapter but I keep forgetting to mention how much I love all the little details with their tails and ears.
I also love this use of the world us to describe the mane six. It's a "show, don't tell" display of their tightness as a group. In fact, there are mounds of good "show, don't tell" moments in this story.
Hard to believe there are another six chapters plus epilogue left. It really feels like we're barreling forward now. But I'm happy it's not almost over. I'm also happy that the fallout of Rarity's unwise decision was taken so seriously.
Going to be interesting to see Dash's reaction to all of Rarity's guilt and self-hatred.
I can't help but wonder what will become of the five bags of luggage that Rarity forgot back in Ponyville.