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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well, that wasn't in the original draft.
I'm glad you decided to rewrite this. Not that the first wasn't fantastic, but a romance story is improved greatly by taking things slowly and showing the mounting tension.
Can't always be waffles Dash. Even if it should.
Someone remind me, was there some FlutterMac going on in the background? Not remembering who Shy is with.
Oh ho! So Pipsqueak, huh?
I'm not completely convinced that the dream sharing is a good idea, but it seems like a really bad idea to do it without asking.
Well, looking forward to the dream adventure.
Can't wait for the next chapter. Interesting to see Rarity actually do something physical. When she pointed out to Scoots all her past exploits it kind of put things into perspective.
I still love this story as much as I did the first time I read it.
AND DREAMS. I'm officially really excited right now.
Though I feel like this might backfire
Oh, this is going to backfire wonderfully. Also dat kiss.
Also, yay, return of the inner cynical Rarity voice! I do so enjoy that.
1. Acquire the dream gem
2. Make sure your partner is ready to share her dreams
3. Use the dream gem
4.
sexprofit.Step 2 is very very important.
God...i was waiting so freaking long for a kiss between them two...now...I is happy
Anyway great chapter
I know Rarity means well but I've got the feeling this dream thing is going to hit a sour note with Dash. Nothin' to do now but watch what happens.
Keep in mind that Dash might not even realize Rarity used the gem.
She could just think she's having some really strange, vivid dreams. Most likely about banging herself...
After reading the end of the chapter, this song started running through my mind. Hopefully whatever is to come won't be that sad, but not getting Dash's okay for the dream-sharing is hardly a step in the right direction. Oh, Rarity.
Oh, one small thing that bugged me about this chapter: Apple Bloom's accent seems to be creeping back into her dialog just a little, when in chapter 6 she seemed to be extra-careful to show no hint of it. If this is foreshadowing just ignore me, but it did stand out as an odd discrepancy.
Update! I really liked this chapter. The hoofball scene was nice, and its sweet how Rarity is trying so hard to help Dash. Its not as sweet that she's going dream creeping without consent, but I'm sure it'll make for a really interesting chapter. And Pipsqueak and Sweetie Belle? I like it. although, I'm still half expecting that to be a red herring and for Sweetie to actually be secretly dating someone else - why else would she have been so cagey earlier? Dating an adorable British chap is nothing to be shy about
As always, the development of the characters and the romance in this extended version is great, and the flow of the story is amazing too, as usual. Actually, its too flowy, as it feels like I just started reading and now I'm already finished. Anywho, thanks for another great chapter
Uh-oh. Rarity, I know you're not the Element of Honesty, but that just seems like an excellent bit of self-sabotage to me.
Ponies don't know about cognitive psychology and ptsd. Also, rarity shouldn't go invading dreams without permission.
I missed this story so much! It's so good.
Well done I've been anxiously awaiting an update for this I love how the love is subtly building with Rarity. I would love to see a chapter or a part with RD's thoughts of the situation but I can see you are doing a limited third person style still I think it is very well written. Though Rarity doing what you did without RD's permission will blow up I just hope it doesn't blow your chance for happiness but RD will be steamed I'm sure. I do hope an update will coming soon it was so long for this one but it was worth it.
Ho boy! When Dash finds out about that dream gem it's gonna be a trainwreck. Let's hope Rarity can convince her that it helped. ▲
Seeing this story updated was like visiting an old friend again after a lengthy absence. I was a silent but ardent fan of your abridged version. Knowing that you will be moving into new territory, and not just expanding on older themes, heightens the anticipation greatly for me. I'm looking forward to the next chapter, not just for Rarity entering Dash's dreams without permission, but also the prospect of Dash seeing Rarity's and what might filter through as a result.
2162876 I agree: the dream-sharing being a two-way thing opens up all kinds of interesting possibilities. I'm looking forward to seeing how it's handled. Will they go back and forth between dreams of the two mares, or will their dreams blend and overlap. The later could be kind of chaotic and not as informative for Rarity, but it does sound interesting.
Well I'd normally say I wish chapters came more frequently, it is true that the time taken pays off in quality. Another excellent chapter! Can't wait for the next!
Sweetie Belle and Pip.
YES!
Also, my god, this story literally has my heart in a vicegrip. For the love of all things good, please finish it.
Maybe it's my last few weeks, or just the time since the last chapter, but this chapter seems more depressing than usual. It's real good though.
So. Pipsqueak eh? That can't be the whole of it, can it? Sweetie was so evasive and deflecting earlier that I thought for sure that it was going to be bigger than that. The cliché-whatever in my head was Apple Bloom, or even AB and Scoots together somehow. The CMC's enduring closeness compared to the bearer's (primarily Rarity's) drift, or something.
"Worse, as in..." But Twilight didn't use the word worse, did she?
2159553
I agree, it's like being given an amazing piece of artwork, one that makes you weep and revel in its unrivaled beauty captured on canvas, only for the painter to say "Sorry about how rushed this one was, really, unforgivable. I'll have a proper one done up soon."
See, I was going to say that, but then I realized your profile name and I can't help but make a cock joke.
So... Twilight wasn't exagerating wasn't she? No? Oh, my.
Its is so good that you are back on this! This chapter felt a bit more lighthearted, and I really enjoyed
This is seroiusly one of the best stories on Fimfiction. Highly immersive, and a both lovely exploration of the Mane6's future lives. You really make the reader feel the pain that Dash is going through. I just love it.
Beautiful piece of work, as usual. Only thing that stood out to me was that Rarity apparently has grown arms, which is a remarkable feat, even for Best Pony™. I enjoyed the switching of viewpoints between miss Dash and Rarity.
Really looking forward to the dream sequence. Hope that the foreshadowed sharing will alleviate what misgivings miss Dash can be expected to have regarding this unsolicited intrusion, even if it is with the best of intentions.
Finally got around to catching back up on the new, expanded version of this.
I'm certain you've gotten this comment before (actually, from a cursory glance at the comments, I know you've gotten this comment before), but it bears repetition: While the original was incredible, this outclasses it in pretty much every possible way. Every addition, whether it be whole chapters that weren't there before like this one, or just the little details like the the wonderful descriptions of the meals, all of it is done with purpose and clearly improves the quality of the story. It still retains that melancholy feeling that made the original so great, of coming back to your hometown and seeing all the little things that have changed while you were gone, but now there is so much depth to it that there wasn't time for earlier.
Rarity's interactions with Twilight, for example. Their warm friendship and mutual concern for Rainbow Dash was there in the original, of course, but now we have these moments of cattiness between them, little snipes and jibes that sting momentarily and are forgotten. There's a sense of just a tiny rift between them, brought on by Rarity's minor jealousy over Twilight having found someone, and on Twilight's end perhaps an old, mostly-healed sense of betrayal at Rarity for leaving Ponyville. But it's all overshadowed by the fact that they really are good friends; as quick as they are to snipe at each other, they're even quicker to forgive it. --And all of that emotional complexity is bundled into just one small side-arc! Not even that; the strain in Rarity's relationship with Twilight barely registers as flavor text compared to the primary drive of the story.
I could go on, citing examples of just what makes this such a deep and rich masterpiece until it became an experiment in the character-limits of the comment box, but it's all ultimately going to boil down to, "You good writer. Make words that make me feel things." So, to save my keyboard the abuse, I'll just skip ahead to that part. Hats off to you, Cold in Gardez. You really have something special here.
Presumably, "come on it" should be "come on in"?
"Worth of their station" doesn't parse -- should it be "worthy of their station"?
Yeah, you certainly did.
On a tangent of which, I've been reflecting on how I ought to be saying more rude things about Rarity while I've got the chance. Because I can say "oh Rarity, she's such a slut, she'll lift her tail for any stallion with a whitish coat and a phallic symbol on his head" (quick, everybody, imagine a stallion with a dildo for a hat! Now imagine Rarity trying to figure out how to fuck both ends at once! You're welcome for the mental images) here, because it's Rarity and because she's full of self-loathing (well, not so much now that she's been in a town full of earth ponies for days; she hasn't had a chance to do anything she hates herself for in a while. But the basic ideas have not left her mind). But any other time, it is just far too misogynistic. If it's just Rarity without self-loathing, I can do nothing; I don't hate her quite that much. If it's some other pony with self-loathing, I am sure to tell her to cheer up and stop obsessing over double standards, because they're completely unreasonable. And with neither, the whole proposal is laughable. So this is a rare opportunity to say crass, offensive things, while I clearly am referring only to Rarity.
Unfortunately, I can't do crass and offensive on command. It comes when it comes, and if it's too much for the situation, I just have to bottle it up and deal.
Yes, you certainly agree with yourself.
Perhaps it would have helped if this weren't the first time you had seen somepony you even vaguely liked asleep?
Okay, fine, I suppose it's likely that not all of your friendships have been complete farces at all times, and you may have sen a real friend asleep at some point. But my point stands. Just on fewer legs.
Having listened to the voices in your head, I find that claim rather hard to believe.
Snails. It's ALWAYS Snails.
Except not really, this time. But don't tell Rarity.
You forgot. You had happiness, and then you ran off to chase your dreams until you could no longer remember what you had left behind. And so you convinced yourself that you had made the right choice, and pretended that you couldn't see your own lies.
Dash's case, though, is harder to tease apart. It would be easy to say that the answer there is "Cloudsdale exploded," but that's not really the whole story. She didn't need to be like she was for so long after the accident. Cloudsdale could have exploded, and she could have recovered, in time. So we can't blame it all upon forces outside of her control. But just because I know that we must condemn at least one of her choices does not tell me which one to choose. Leaving Ponyville to be a Wonderbolt? Falling in love with Soarin'? They are clearly related, but were they wrong?
You just keep telling yourself that.
No, they'd rather have you being unreasonably intense about things somewhere without scalding liquids.
Because Scoots doesn't think you have it in you to "accidentally" tackle your sweet little sister when the team needs it.
Now imagine that, except with scalding liquids.
No tea parties for Apple Bloom.
So apparently Sweetie is dating Featherweight? Because no way would anypony but his marefriend call Pipsqueak "Pipsy." And anypony with two brain cells to rub together could tell you that trying to date Scoots and Sweetie at the same time is a poor choice; they'd know within a day, and then you'd have the Crusaders against you. Do you really want to make enemies of mares who could mix effective potions and build beautiful parade floats overnight before they even found out what they're actually good at?
Funny, I never pegged Scoots to date a dirt pony.
You'll do fine, Twi. As long as you don't go off on a tangent he can't understand and bore him to death. Then you'd do somewhat less than fine.
Not getting too close to Scoots' coltfriend, I hope. You heard the nickname; he's her dirt pony.
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So, yeah, I guess he can be Sweetie's coltfriend if he wants to now.
But you're perfectly happy with your lifestyle and not at all ashamed of it, right? That's what you said.
Also, they all had names. You're just too shallow to learn them, you misandrist.
Who do you think you are, Rarity? Do you even remember the last time you learned a new spell? I mean, really. Make friends with a powerful mage and you forget that you're a talentless hack.
I see three descriptors there, and as Meatloaf says, two out of three ain't bad. Though perhaps it's more like one and a half out of three . . . unless you're sleeping on the masturbation couch tonight, that is. And one and a half out of three is almost not an F. Pretty good, all things considered. Whatever it is that I'm considering.
You thought I had forgotten about the masturbation couch, didn't you. And you were right. But you weren't right enough. 'Twas but a layer of dust hiding the concept, merely waiting to be blown away. You shall never be rid of my comments about the masturbation couch, until I run out of chapters for the moment.
Please tell me you're not fooling yourself. You're a social climber, aren't you? Isn't reading ponies practically your job? So surely if you're any good at social climbing, you couldn't miss your own body language.
And thus we see the reason you live in Fillydelphia and lift your tail for any stallion who kind of looks like Prince Blueblood when you close your eyes, rather than being in Canterlot and having the slightest hope of landing the real deal. I don't know what you even see in him anyway, but then again it would hardly be like you to do something remotely sensible. So everything's nice and consistent.
Better than most things she calls "reasons."
It's sad, really. You both wear your hearts of your sleeves at night, and the only pony who bothers to look is your imaginary friend whom you pretend you can't hear.
Also, you should totally invest in a cloudwalking charm, so you could show up unannounced at her apartment with some stallion whose name you never bothered to ask in tow. Then she wouldn't be alone. She could sit on her couch and the sounds coming from her bed could keep her company. That counts as social, right?
I suppose that meant nothing, too?
It's not just anypony who can be so sketchy about helping a friend. Some have to put considerable effort into it, you know. Some just don't have it in them at all.
But of course I never doubted your ability. No matter how many good options you are given, you make doing the wrong thing look as easy as falling through a cloud, because both are in fact completely effortless for you. And even when somepony is specifically trying to stop you from falling through clouds, you may well convince them to do it in such a way that you can later circumvent it. And somehow, you have yet to be allowed to hit the ground. Somehow all this never seems to really come back to bite you in the rump.
But your day will come. Just you wait.
2329605 Normally, you'd be right. But this is Rarity we're talking about; she's going to come on it anyway, so you might as well ask her to do it so you can pretend to have some sort of control over the situation.
Will this guy shut up already?
4679275 One can only hope.
Further up, further in.
*quietly neighing in the kitchen*
To be fair, Dash's vision was very unspecific, assuming we're referencing Suited For Success.
That kiss was built up to so thoroughly that it didn't feel forced at all. In fact, it felt inevitable. That's a bit of a rarity in fan works.
Earlier in the story I was worried about how much work was left for a romance between Rainbow and Rarity to become believable. Well, it's believable. And beautiful.
That said, I see some major problems coming. Rarity, just how do you think Dash is going to respond to you breaking into her most private domain? I really hope this doesn't blow up as big as it should...