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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Lovely chapter, looking forward to more. You do have a repeated paragraph in there though -
She couldn’t help it; she reached out to touch that soft cheek, pausing inches away. She froze there, and slowly lowered her leg to rest on the throne instead. “You can’t know that. All she needs is—” A sudden, sharp sting in her leg interrupted her, and she yanked it away from the throne with a cry. Specks of blood dotted her coat where it had rested on the gold, and there, on the throne’s arm, tattered flecks of blue hair stuck fast.
She couldn’t help it; she reached out to touch that soft cheek, pausing inches away. She froze there, and slowly lowered her leg to rest on the throne instead. “You can’t know that. All she needs is—” A sudden, sharp sting in her leg interrupted her, and she yanked it away from the throne with a cry. Specks of blood dotted her coat where it had rested on the gold, and there, on the throne’s arm, tattered flecks of blue hair stuck fast.
Yikes... It would appear that the tension in this story has escalated.
Please do go on darling.
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Ack, thanks, fixed.
There are probably other errors in there, as well. I'm reduced to typing on Wordpad, then laboriously cut-and-pasting the text into the Fimfic editor.
Afghanistan wasn't meant for ease of writing. I miss my PC :(
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Yay! An update! This was another good chapter. I like how in the deepest of deep parts of Rare's psyche she sees herself as a monster, yet Dash so far still supports her. I wonder what it'll be like for her to hear the same platitudes Rares told Dashie that she told many others, or the endless streams of stallions and empty words. I really hope that Dash still loves Rares after all she sees. But we'll see what we see.
Goddamnit Cold you and your cliffhangers.
Oh jeez I forgot how dark you can write. I remember bits and pieces of this, the imagery is incredibly evocative.
The dream-Rarity feels like a shade of Nightmare Rarity from the IDW comic. I think I'm going to have nightmares about her golden throne.
That was dark.....proceed.
Rarity's self-loathing really is a bitch, isn't she?
Interesting dreamscapes, delivered with all of your customary skill and imagination. That razorwire throne was a magnificently gruesome idea!
Eagerly looking forwards to the next part of this.
I may be wrong here, but I think the end of this latest chapter is the cover art become real.
Brilliant, as always! Can't wait for more!
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Wow I never noticed. I thought it was when Soarin' died or something but upon closer inspection, you're right!
This story is going to piddle offwith that "not really" crap
Well done as always, Cold. Good to see your deployment hasn't been messing with your writing time too much. This is getting (even more) intense - can't wait for the next chapter.
The imagery I got while reading this was amazing. Incredible twisted and dark, yet I can see all of the relation in it.
Fantastic chapter yet again, and now I'm really looking forward to what you got planned for the 2nd part of this.
DJRD
So we finally meet that voice in Rarity's head. She's....interesting to say the least.
And so, themunck stopped reading.
But not really.
Good as always, and I can't wait 'till the next chapter. This, and the original, are basically my go-to fic for how to do RariDash right.
go on darling.
Damn, this is so good! I absolutely love the dark imagery of the False Rarity at the end. SO STINKIN' GOOD.
I can't wait for more!
Ssssss, that throne. That scene gave me shivers, the creepy kind.
Oh wow. I admit that I was right there with Rainbow thinking that Rarity's dreams would, at worst, involve some troubling emotions and perhaps a questionable fluid in the eye. I am delighted and horrified to be wrong. Delightfully horrified? Anyway.. ..
I always thought that hearing Rarity's Conscience in previous chapters added a lot of flavor to her character. She was that internal stress that tried to match Dash's external stress. But previously it was just a sharp retort and a naughty word here and there. Meeting her in person is terrifying! It's easy to forget that our own imagination can conjure worse images than reality ever would.
Also it's really cool to meet more acquaintances from Rarity's past. The detail you are putting into everyone's life since the show, and the variety of new background characters, is quite rich and satisfying. I'm definitely looking forward to more!
I find it hard to re-immerse myself in serialised stories. The gaps between the chapters sap the momentum from the narrative, and often this takes away some of the pleasure I get from reading.
I didn't have the problem here.
The introduction set the scene well for what was to come (the irony of Dash's comment about Rarity's dreams was delicious), and you did not disappoint one bit with Rarity's dream realm. Rarity's inner critic was and is terrifying. During her parts, my heart thrummed with antici-- for what was to come.
Great work.
As a side note, did you get some inspiration for Rarity's throne from the iron throne of Game of Thrones fame? Even if you didn't, at least the connection gave me something light to think about after that conclusion.
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110117103233/gameofthrones/images/c/c2/Iron_Throne.jpg
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This chapter feels a bit incomplete, but I suspect it's only because you broke the chapter up. I'm not really a fan of huge chapters, but from you they seem to go far too quickly.
The depth of Rarity's remorse and self-repugnance is heart-breaking, and no doubt it's far from over. Your creation of Rarity's desired internal self-image was awesome and brilliant - I loved that. Beautiful work.
I am sucked into this story and committed to its tale. The detail you put into everything paints a vivid picture. The part you do the best is writing the pure emotion in the characters. I feel for them and only when I am pulled out of the story do I realize I was sucked in in the first place. Your writing is marvelous and I can't wait to read more.
And now we approach my favourite part of the shorter original - which is saying something, because unless pressed I'd have to have said "The words between the first and last, inclusive."
Cold in Gardez shall always, in my heart, be warmly received.
I don't even remember how i found this considering the only ones I have read are cupcakes and this. Obviously i'm not much of a fimfic reader but this story is amazing. It's also funny that i first got into mlp on Ft. Sam Houston for medic training when I saw a specialist with a mlp dvd. I may read others...although I don't know if i'll ever find another like this
P.S. I hate ongoing stuff...especially with anime - I never watch simulcasts. The wait for this story is painful...but so worth it x.x Raridash FTW~
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You'll be happy to know there are plenty of other stories as good as this. Take a look at what some of the better authors have as their favorites, and try those first.
Gotta say, I must've forgotten the part where Dash and Rarity straight-up did the whole "confessing feelings" thing. Hearing Dash actually say "I love you" came as quite the surprise as a result.
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I don't think they mean it in a strictly romantic sense just yet, but they're definitely self-aware enough to realize it's drifting in that direction.
That was a great Chapter Rarity's inner critique is scary. I just hate it had to end on a cliffhanger I WANT MOAR NOW! If that is alright with you
Damn, Rarity's internal voice is far more screwed up than Dash ever was.
I'm still amused by pegasi eating habits. I seem to remember commenting on this a long time back that they are only partially civilized at best going off of Dash’s habits, and it seems to be holding true for others as well.
I feel like these dream chapters are a homage to the episodes in Eureka 7 that go way off the deep end... I forget their names, but they all share one. The first one I Renton's, then Eureka's, and finally Anemone's dream-like experiences... the story seemed so cohesive and real, but now the analogies and synonyms are growing weary. As nice as they are, these are still dreams, so props to you for suspension of disbelief... But if they're dreams, why do they feel so real? It's hard to distinguish if these are still dreams or if they're flashbacks to times before...
Cap.
Needs end punctuaton.
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Still needs end punctuation.
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Damn. Dream Rares is kind of scary.
Dream or not, that's incredibly boss!
This is easily the best written Rarity I've ever encountered.
I'm including the show.
While people have commented on the great metaphor that the throne represents, I'm surprised no one commented on the slightly more subtle metaphor of the stairs.
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I don’t believe you, but I hope you’re right. Care to list some of your favorite stories?