• Published 17th May 2022
  • 435 Views, 24 Comments

Spike Goes Grocery Shopping - Badguy400



Random short story since I think it was a good idea at the time

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A Very Eventful Day

Spike is in the castle’s library; reading a book to himself about fairytales, or whatever fantasy topic that there is.

“And so… the wonderful miss pixie bottom slain the evil dragon, and sent him back to the fiery volcano. The end… .” Spike then closed the book, and got up to reach for another one.

However, as soon as he had just placed the book back to grab another one from the shelves, Twilight called out his name, and beckons him to meet in the castle’s, for lack of a better name for it; “map room”, for an important reason. With no hesitation, yet with slight reluctance, Spike sighs to himself, says; “coming… “ and goes to the map room. Whilst almost there, he says to himself; “why can’t I take a break… ?” and soon opens the door to the map room.

Waiting in the map room was Twilight with a grocery list. Realizing as to what day it is just now, he facepalms; (or faceclaws since he’s a dragon), takes the list from Twilight, and leaves to go to his room to prepare for the trip. Before he left, Twilight waved and said out loud; “don’t forget!” and gave him air kisses. Spike begrudgingly accepted them with grabby claws and chest rubs; signifying that he accepted her air kisses, and then continues going to his room to pack his stuff.

At the front door he sighs to himself, and is about to open it so he could leave. But before he could, he flew to Twilight with his wings, kissed Twilight on the cheek; (since they’re practically family after all), and then flies back to the front door so he could leave for sure… .


Spike is outside at the center of Ponyville, and then looks down at the list to see all of the groceries that are needed for their daily lives… . He gets out a ink-less quill that he kept in his saddlebags; (despite not being a pony), and then uses it to carefully read what he has to get for his errand.

The grocery list reads as follows:

- A dozen eggs for baking and or cooking

- Two dozen flour sacks for in case Pinkie wants to bake too, and doesn’t beg them for some of their own too much for the case that she runs out of her own

-A hay hash brown package that holds six to a dozen of what’s described

-Two tons of candy for Nightmare Night (despite it being only months away)

-Extra packages of diapers and baby food/formula for in the case that Flurry Heart needs babysitting again

-Two dozen plushies

-And lastly, a cupcake for both Spike and Twilight to share

Seeing all this in a foot long list, Spike said to himself; “holy moly that’s a lot of groceries… !” He then starts to shake from getting nervous, and then thinks to himself; “how am I ever gonna accomplish all this in one day… ? I can’t do it!”

Eventually though, he soon took a deep breath, repeated this mantra to himself; “I will be the bigger dragon” over and over again, and then begins to look confident while literally dragging the list behind him… . He knows that he’ll need it.


At the grocery store… .

“Woah… “ Spike began as he’s looking around the entire interior of the grocery store.

After a few minutes went by, a friendly grocery clerk with a plum purple colored mane and a vanilla colored coat came by, and greeted in a nice and friendly manner with a slight country drawl; “why hello there! My name is Sugar Plum! What brings you here to Sunny Side-up Groceries?” Snapping back into reality, Spike then looked up at the friendly mare, blushed and smiled whilst covering his face a little with the list from being shy; (since he’s a baby dragon and all), and then says with a slight shyness in his tone; “I-I’m just here to pick up some things for my mommy, hehe. No, sibling! Grr! I mean.. !” But before he could finish, Sugar Plum just giggled with a smile in response, and then says in the same manner as she was in before; “well don’t you worry hon’! Whatever you need, we got it! Just holler out if you need assistance, and I’ll be right there faster than you can say; ‘two shining hogs!’” Spike just nodded in return, and ran away to go grab a cart so he could begin.


After obtaining all the items mentioned in the list; (including a few extra items for himself), he then went to the nearest checkout lane, and began bringing out the items from the cart one at a time.

Unfortunately, before the cashier could ring him up, Spike unexpectedly got a twitch in his nose, and a slight “weird” feeling. Knowing what it is, he tried to hold it all in… . But, like usual, he couldn’t, and just began letting it all out with a big and mighty; “achoo!!!” Soon after that, the entire store’s interior was reduced to nothing but a pile of ash and cinders. Seeing all of the ponies covered in soot, Spike just chuckled nervously, mumbled something along the lines of; “my bad, hehe… .” and then promptly left the store. But not before leaving some bits for his groceries; (including extras for the possible property damage he caused).

Spike then slammed the front door once he returned home, and Twilight just stood there with a blank but solemn expression, and then she asked in a slight, yet disappointed tone; “dragon sneeze?” “Dragon sneeze” Spike replied. Twilight just sighs; knowing that it wasn’t the first time he accidentally set things on fire, and then says in a slight monotone voice; “I’ll go get the bits… “ and went to the castle’s safe to retrieve something as to what she calls; “hazards pay”, for in the case that Spike burned something down with his fire breath from his sneezing.

Once Twilight was at the front door, Spike just says to himself; “I’m gonna go lay down now… “ and went to the library whilst sniffling since he now has a stuffy nose.

The end

Comments ( 24 )

:moustache: I always get funny looks while I'm shopping
:duck: I can't imagine why Spikey we all shop there everyday
:twilightsmile: That's because he picks up our feminine products?
:rainbowlaugh: The manager makes kissy faces at him too...
:raritycry: Let me get my hoofs on that manager!
:moustache: This is why we can't ever get good things around here...
:duck: Just paper, ink wells and quill pens
:moustache: and boxes and bags for all the mares in what little life I have here...
:derpytongue2: Poor Spikey at least I have a Doctor for all my house calls
:trollestia: It's all my fault here... 🎇

11244460
Holy hell you mad genius XD. I can make something like that into a sequel for this :rainbowlaugh:. If you want me to that is

I appreciate a nice slice of life story as much as the next guy, but uh……

Dear GOD does this need editing. :facehoof:

11244473
To suffer the life of a male sibling going to the grocery store "It (The pain) must be shared":rainbowlaugh:

:duck: Spikey our hybrids need formula
:moustache: On my way to the gas station...🔥🚭

:facehoof: Fluttershy & Discords foals are nuclear powered☢

:flutterrage: Discord it's your turn to clean up after Annarchy and Calamity

:derpytongue2: Haz Mat! You called?☢⚛💥🌌☢

11244495
That figures… . But then again it’s a short story, so… . Okay

11244548
XD. Please do more

I wanted to like this story, but there are just too many issues with it for me. "Spike goes grocery shopping" is a great slice-of-life comedy premise, which is why I'm disappointed in the actual implementation. Ignoring the mechanical issues, of which there are many, the biggest problem is that this story's humor depends on writing Spike out of character. Spike is not shy; if anything the opposite is true. Also, the idea that Spike could destroy an entire grocery store with a sneeze is much too ridiculous for an otherwise grounded story.

11244675
Oh oops. I forgot to put a random tag on there. My mistake

11244640
:twilightoops: Anarchy and Calamity have run amuck in Equestria ! What am I going to do? Spike!

:moustache: Come on Twilight , I'm not a foal sitter for Discords kids!

:flutterrage: Spike! Get my foals mister or Mr. Wuzz will be forever in time out!

:moustache: But but last time Anny sent me into Mr. Pops corn field without butter
while Discord laughs drinking his glass

:duck: Spikey dearest please, Ruby and Clarity are... :moustache: On it! You can count on me!

:facehoof: Were doomed all the hybrids have play dates in my castle....:raritystarry: Twilight... Breath in and slowly breath out...

:trollestia: Don't know about you but I'd takeout extra insurance on it :twilightangry2: Duh!

:derpytongue2: Does crystal burn?

:facehoof: My library No no no no no

11244741
XD. Again, again!

11244954
:twilightsheepish: So Rarity it was a test that brought you to pick Spike as your husband?
:duck: Well if you put it that way... Yes it was a...
:twilightsmile: A test of courage?
:raritywink: no
:twilightsmile: A test of quality education?
:duck: no
:twilightblush: A test of Royal Nobility?
:duck: NO
:twilightsmile: A fashion test ?
:raritywink: noooooo
:twilightangry2: What kind of test are we talking about?
:moustache: A pregnancy test.
:raritystarry: A quick week of courting and a quicker wedding and we can spend the rest of our honeymoon fire proofing my boutique
:moustache: Here's a gift list

:facehoof: "fire proof diapers"

:raritystarry: Don't forget the 'nomex' bed sheets and pillow cases

11245286
XD. More, more!

11245892
:yay: After 36 hours of labor I delivered twin draconiquis hybrids and I didn't feel a thing - I feel great!
:moustache: Poor Discord 36 hours of pure torcher :pinkiegasp: He even walks painfully
:fluttershysad: I wanted cute fluffy baby bunnies
:facehoof: For the hundredth time IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!
:moustache: Well look at that . . . Discord delivered , Cute little baby bunnies :yay:
:flutterrage: Twilight, Apologize to my Discord, I got bunnies over hybrids
:duck: Idea!
:moustache: ... ???
:twilightoops: Rarity! what are you doing with Spike?
:rainbowlaugh: More bunnies
:pinkiehappy: Bunnies
:ajsmug: We're not dealing with Discord here, But they will get a ticket for indecent in public
:rainbowderp: Dude, I want some of that!
:trollestia: Hot Mare on Dragon!
:moustache: I can breath... Help
:ajbemused: Get a hotel room you two, Celestia you aint helping, git! before I get the hose on you.

11246161
XD. This is pure entertainment right here!

:ajbemused: Really Twi, Do we need to rehash how we met our husbands?
:twilightsheepish: Of course the science of friendship still needs to be chronicled
:ajsmug: Hayseed Turnip truck , I just got him to bug Rainbow and after awhile They just clicked and the rest id history
:rainbowlaugh: Yea and you got Soarin on the rebound, Actually Hayseed's a pretty cool dude. He knew a bunch of Canterlot Royalty
:fluttershysad: You know everything about Discord and me...Like we have a doctors visit every week and we see Spike & you... Science
:pinkiehappy: Cheese and I have files on everypony we can give you copies all the way into next month in advance
:duck: Spike and I were compatible but even I was set aback when I got pregnant even more so when we burned down Ponyville General
:moustache: We're very compatible ... Pinkie? :pinkiegasp: Sorry Uncle Spike that's where Little Cheese went...
:facehoof: I'm so alone :trollestia: Twilight? Cake is the answer.... :derpytongue2:

11247925
This is so random I love it!

11244495

maybe it is a trolling comedy.

11254702
Probably. I honestly never thought of it that way XD

:moustache: I better go run before I get thrown in the dungeons for burning down so many shops. Ooh, is that a gemstone cake in that shop across? *once at the shop, sneezes* A-achoo! Aah! No!


:trollestia: Spike Dragon. You have burnt down my favorite cake shop. You will pay!

:moustache: Mama mia! I'd better run for real now!

11438587
XD. That’s awesome

11438884
:rainbowlaugh: That actually gave me an idea. Would you be fine if a wrote a sequel to this story, with Spike running from Celestia?

11439218
Oh, big time 😂😂😂

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