Lyra and bon bon spend a weekend together and become a little more than friends.
Chapters (1)
Lyra1234
Joined 10th Sep, 2012 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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hope you like it
Seems cool, gonna add to RIL
1286313
it is but he needs to stop asking me for help....
needs more clop
EDIT: Read two words so far. You need a proofreader.
!!1286362
lol, I know how you feel. My bro keeps asking for help, too. But great story
1286380
Not going to do it and you should have seen the mess he had before *shiver* oh the god no that was just plain awful....
1286386
ya I think tha guy who went over and fixed it for him did a pretty nice job myself
1286396
, . ! ? - – — ; : ( ) / ' "
Learn to use
EDIT: 'needs more clop' was a joke, because FiMFiction.
1285444
halp
the army of twidash clones will consume all
1286412
do i need to delete your comment?
1286429
Shh. No tears now, only dreams.
I don't mind if you do or do not; I simply ask that, for the sake of every other proofreader, reviser, editor, and prereader on this site, you don't be arrogant without being precise.
Oh, come on, man. Don't delete your stories and start another - not only because I was going to read your "bffs" one out loud and publish it to AudioBoo, but because if you scrap too many things without bothering to improve it will
a) annoy us
and
b) not help you
1286412
1286790
Nobody likes en dash.
1286848
Well, yeah... em dash is where it's at. En dash is just a poser.
Who did the cover?
1286896
I probably use an en dash 1–2 times a month anyways—but I use em dash around once every 2–3 paragraphs.
well is this good?
1285444
This is much better than your previous attempt, by the way. I'm glad Thorlol was able to help you out.
1287419
thnx so much
1286905
i got it from google
Nine upvotes to three downvotes. I was glad to be of assistance.
1288639.
You did most of it
Plz rate
The premise for this story is great first and foremost, you have a solid idea here. However, you seem to rush through the story very quickly and change scenes instantly. This is not a good thing. Spelling could use a little work but don't worry about grammar as I see it as a rather subjective issue. Either way I liked the story, it just needs some polishing.
Uhm... “Hey she said watch where you’re going.” don't you mean something like “Hey" she said "watch where you’re going.”?
Or rather delete the "she said" part because you write "said Lyra" right after :)