• Member Since 27th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 14th, 2021


There are a few Jakes on this website. I'm the ginger one.


A web of lies can make for a heavy heart. When the pony you love turns out to have hidden their whole identity, what does that mean for a relationship?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 140 )

Pretty nice, short story you made there.

♪There's a mare who leads a life of danger♫
♪To everyone she meets she stays a stranger♫
♪With every move she makes♫
♪Another chance she takes♫
♪Odds are she won't live to see tomorrow♫

♪Secret Agent Mare♫
♪Secret Agent Mare♫
♪They've took away your number and given you a mane♫

♪Beware of pretty faces that you find♫
♪A pretty face can hide an evil mind♫
♪Oh, be careful what you say♫
♪Or you'll give yourself away♫
♪Odds are you won't live to see tomorrow♫

♪Secret Agent Mare♫
♪Secret Agent Mare♫
♪They've took away your number and given you a mane♫

♪Swinging on the Navarrin one day♫
♪Laying in a Malani alley the next day♫
♪Oh, don't you let the wrong words slip♫
♪While kissing persuasive lips♫
♪Odds are you won't live to see tomorrow♫

♪Secret Agent Mare♫
♪Secret Agent Mare♫
♪They've took away your number and given you a mane♫

I'm pretty sure that several stories here feature Bon Bon as a secret agent....
What will really make this now-canon situation ironic is if MLP ever does one where it gets revealed that Lyra is also a secret agent:twilightsmile:

Edit-->Heh! -->Called it!<-- oh, wait...that's not canon......yet...:pinkiehappy:

Found the title song.

I like this. Nice little short story.

Love it. Nice to see Cranky help Lyra.

Plus the Lyrabon stuff was cute as can be.

Shouldn't Cranky be tagged too? He was kind of an important part of the plot...

Best LyraBon story I've seen come out of Ep. 100... of course I've only read like three so far, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong, :derpytongue2:

Ah you can really write BonBons feelings well.
Nicely done.

Yes, MORE LyraBon shipping! The 100th episode didn't douse the flame, it added fuel to it!

You are a better person than I.
I wouldn't have been able to resist the urge to have ol' world-travelling, adventurer Cranky have a shared history with Agent Sweetie Drops. :trollestia:

But yush. This all is pretty much exactly how I see it going. A bit of a LyraSulk, followed by figuring out that a name is a small thing compared to how close they are. 'Tis the only acceptable possibility!

And, true to expectations, Bon Bon is instantly more interesting for having a sordid past, instead of just standing in front of a sugar forge at her candysmithery.


You MBonster. :raritydespair:

Here come the Mares in Black
It's the M.I.B.'s, uhh, here come the M.I.B.'s
Here come the Mares in Black
They won't let you remember
Nah nah nah

Good ponies dress in black remember that
Just in case we ever face to face and make contact
The title held by me - M.I.B.
Means what you think you saw, you did not see
So don't blink be what was there
Is now gone, black suit with the black Ray Ban's on
Walk in shadow, move in silence
Guard against Tartarus Monster violence
But yo we ain't on Celestia's list
We straight don't exist, no names and no hoofprints
Saw somethin strange, watch your back
Cause you never quite know where the M.I.B.'s is at
Uh and...

Here come the Mares in Black (Mares in Blaaaaack)
Equestria defenders (oahhaooohh ohhhhh)
Here come the Mares in Black (Mares in Blaaaaack)
They won't let you remember

Uh uh, uh uh, now
From the deepest of the darkest of night
On the horizon, bright light enters sight tight
Cameras zoom, on the impending doom
But then like BOOM black suits fill the room up
With the quickness talk with the witnesses
Hypnotizer, neuralizer
Vivid memories turn to fantasies
Ain't no M.I.B.'s, can I please
Do what we say that's the way we kick it
Yaknahmean? I see my noisy cricket get wicked on ya
We're your first, last and only line of defense
Against the worst scum of the universe
So don't fear us, cheer us
If you ever get near us, don't jeer us, we're the fearless
M.I.B.'s, freezin up all the flack
(What's that stand for?) Mares In Black

Uhh M
The Mares in Black...
The Mares in Black

Let me see ya just bounce it with me, just bounce with me
Just bounce it with me c'mon
Let me see ya just slide with me, just slide with me
Just slide with me c'mon
Let me see ya take a walk with me, just walk it with me
Take a walk with me c'mon
And make your neck work
Now freeze...

Here come the Mares in Black (Mares in Blaaaaack)
Equestria's defenders
Right on, right on
Here come the Mares in Black (Mares in Blaaaaack)
They won't let you remember (ohhhh nooooo)

Alright check it, let me tell you this in closin
I know we might seem imposin
But trust me if we ever show in your section
Believe me, it's for your own protection
Cause we see things that you need not see
And we be places that you need not be
So go witcha life, forget that Everfree crap
Show love to the black suit, cause that's the Mares in
That's the Mares in...

Here come the Mares in Black (here they comeeeee)
Equestrian defenders (Equ-est-rian de-fenders)
Here come the Mares in Black (ohhhh here they come)
They won't let you remember (won't, let you, rememberrrr)
Here come the Mares in Black (ohhhh here they come)
Equestrian defenders (ohh ohh, ohh ohh, ohh ohh)
Here come the Mares in Black
They won't let you remember ♫

Thanks guy!

Now I can't get Fleetwood Mac out of my head!

This was interesting, I like this:heart:

Also -

And that you'll my brave,

You missing a word in there? like - you'll be ?


Hello Section 31.

Commence read.


6099852 Lyra: "My real name is Bashir...Julian Bashir" :moustache:
Bon Bon: "Oh, futa!"

Okay, this was just adorable. :twilightsmile:

6099146 I was thinking the same thing.

Comment posted by GoneGuy deleted Jun 18th, 2015

I definitely enjoyed this! Added to favorites. Good story! Good work!

6100734 Nope, that's what makes us so awesome.

Here's a cute little response for a cute little story.

It was a cute little story.

I can't wait for more from you!

Comment posted by GoneGuy deleted Jun 18th, 2015

6101811 Everyone sees something different. That's what happens when you engage with art.

Equestria doesn't exist. It's a fictional land from a TV show. It exists only in the minds of its audience. And thus, its audience interprets one thing or another. And some of them will inevitably interpret things to match the narrative in their minds. That's a fun thing to do.

Comment posted by GoneGuy deleted Jun 18th, 2015


You can interpret it your way, they'll interpret it theirs.

Is people shipping a pairing you don't anything worth the energy?

Comment posted by GoneGuy deleted Jun 18th, 2015


Why, though? What is it about it that is worth your anger?

Comment posted by GoneGuy deleted Jun 18th, 2015


I hate stories written with the second-person 'You,' Humans in Equestria fics, and anything tied into the Conversion Bureau. But I'd be a very sad person indeed if I were to go around insulting people for writing them.

All that would do would make them more unhappy, and do absolutely nothing to fix my problem.

Try not reading fics with the 'Romance' tag. You should avoid most shipping stuff that way.

Comment posted by GoneGuy deleted Jun 18th, 2015


There's more important stuff to spend your time on, rather than deciding to try to ruin people's day simply because they wrote something you didn't want to read. You don't make your life any better, probably make it worse because you end up focusing on something that upsets you. Then you make them unhappy too. You won't stop it from happening, you just lash out. That's not a constructive way of dealing with frustration. Try to relax a little. Just skim over it. I promise, it'll make you a lot happier.

Comment posted by GoneGuy deleted Jun 18th, 2015
Comment posted by GoneGuy deleted Jun 18th, 2015


My challenge would be to try not to care about it so much.

Again. Equestria doesn't exist. There's no standard of proof. I'm not arguing that Lyra and Bon-Bon are 'Really' together. I'm arguing that there is no 'Really,' so it doesn't matter. If someone wants to tell a story that ships them, then that's fine. It might not be the next Shakespeare, but if we could write Nobel-winning works of literature, we wouldn't be posting it for free on fanfic sites.

Try to have your fun, and let them have their fun. Insulting them for just writing something that you don't like, and that you never would even if it was the absolute BEST example of it, is not doing anyone any good. We're all here to have fun, and that means tolerating that there's gonna be a lot of stories you just don't want to read. That's just what happens.

Comment posted by GoneGuy deleted Jun 18th, 2015

6102122 They're writing for the joy of writing too. And they seem to be having fun with it.

I understand that frustration. I write mindless erotica that gets comments and upvotes, and the only story on this account that I actually thought had any meaning to it, has barely been seen. But ultimately, that doesn't matter, because like I said, I write for the joy of writing. I'd love to share more and get more likes, because that would mean I've made more people happy. But this person wrote something that made LOTs of people happy, and that's something I think should be celebrated, rather than attacking them for the fact that they did it in a way that I don't like.

It's not really fair to the author, that you're insulting them just for doing a story type you don't like. I have to go, now, but please. Just try to consider being a little more calm about this in the future, alright? You don't need to rage at people like this. I'm sure your story was great, and I promise, I'll read a bit of it sometime and tell you what I think. :)


6102122 You should probably calm down. Saying something like

I write for the joy of writing

in the exact same comment as

It's unfair that something that's been done a thousand times, this pile of bat shit that probably took a good four minutes to write gets this much feedback for being something that someone can jack off too, but the story I dedicated a good year of my life too gets jack shit!

is some of the most hypocritical stuff I've seen in a long time.

If you actually wrote "for the joy of writing," then why are you complaining about not being popular? Isn't the joy of writing its own reward? Why do you need popularity if you're writing "for the joy of it" and not for popularity? It's not the community's fault your stories don't do well. You're not writing for the community. If you don't want to write for the community, then don't get upset when the community doesn't take notice.

And don't go on massive downvote sprees, either. You're honestly going to sit here and say, seemingly unironically, that you want everyone who writes stories in a genre you don't like to suffer? And then you're going to, in the same breath, demand that people pay you more attention and read your stories?

I'm not sure what fantasy world you live in, but that's about the exact opposite of how you get people to respect you 'round these parts.




So I wrote something you didn't like. That's such a big deal. I'm gonna call the cops and ask to be arrested because I wrote something that hurt your sensibilities. Clearly everything this site has needs to be tailored to your tastes.

Let me tell you something about the LyraBon scene that made it so great: it could be interpreted both ways. Either there were being literal and they really did see each other as besties, or they were having a laugh, thanks to the bedroom eyes and the way they accented 'best friend'.

Really that's not important though. You have your headcanon, I have mine. Neither is totally correct in this case. It's the fact that you come onto my story complaining about a whole genre of fics like Hitler returned from the dead or some shit that gets me.

I hate most changeling fics. I bloody do. I think they're unoriginal and uninspired.

But you know something?

I'd never be so self-entitled to go onto their story pages and tell them that their story sucks and they shouldn't write it ever just because I don't like the idea of it. That's not just stupid, that's frickin' subhuman level behaviour.

The great thing about this site is that it's for everyone. If you want to find a fic that isn't shipping, then take the Goddamn effort to find one yourself instead of whining that some fics you didn't like hit the featured box. People clearly like them or they wouldn't get there in the first place. That means they have at least some merit, or they wouldn't have gotten up there.

I don't want to see it, it DISGUSTS ME.

Alright, sorry Tumblr. I didn't know made up horses loving each other triggered you so much.

The stories I actually put time and effort into get ignored and this sick display of pandering gets hundreds of likes!

Find me proof that I didn't take any effort to write this piece.

You bloody mongoloid.

the story I dedicated a good year of my life too gets jack shit!

I don't think whining like a little bitch here is gonna help people read your fic.

Alright, I'm done. Last thing I'm gonna say is that find some Goddamn perspective and calm the heck down. This isn't the end of the world. People are gonna sail ships. That's just how fandoms work. This fandom and this site isn't geared to exclusively satisfy your taste, nor mine, or any other brony's. We all have different preferences. That's what makes life so unique and exciting. Now get your head out of your ass and smell the roses so you can realize that.


Thank you for being very reasonable. :pinkiesmile:


You make a very good point too. I know some friends here that I'd wish get more attention for their work but sadly do not. It's unfortunate but that's just the way things work. I've accepted it and it doesn't anger me or them too much because we both enjoy writing for what it is.


6102312 The feature box has always measured popularity, not quality. That's something waaaay too many people get confused on. "My story is better than this one, therefore it should be featured" is a deeply flawed argument, as is "this story is bad, therefore it shouldn't be here."

Even assuming the story in question is abysmal and the commenter's own stories are literally the best ever written, the argument still doesn't work because quality isn't what the box measures. It's there as a metric for popularity and what people want to read. An example: lots of film critics think Kubrick's 2001 is a serious contender for best film ever made. Problem is, it's boring as shit and if you re-released it in theaters today the only people who'd be caught dead going to see it are the film and sci fi geeks who've already watched it three dozen times and just want the excuse to see it on the big screen. It'd never draw a crowd or find a place with a modern audience, because it is not in line with current tastes. Instead, it enjoys a special place in the hearts of those geeks who are really passionate about the genre. It's still respected and admired and praised, but in smaller circles because it lacks mass-market appeal.

Gotta get that figured out quick, folks. You'll enjoy yourselves more if you stop expecting the box to do things it was never designed to do.

6102335 I love 2001. It's brilliant.:twilightangry2:


6102362 I wasn't saying I dislike the film, just that it wouldn't find an audience in today's industry. It would not be a popular film if re-released in theaters today. If the movie industry were Fimfiction, 2001 would not be on our feature box in 2015. I think you're making the exact mistake that comment is trying to stop people from making - you're confusing popularity with quality.

The whole analogy hinges on the idea that 2001 is a good film, yet not a popular one. I am not trying to say it's a bad film in the slightest. This is a way of explaining why some stories just plain don't go anywhere on Fimfiction despite being "good." That's not what the box is for, and anyone who makes the argument I picked apart is making a huge mistake in logic.

♪Tell me lies
Tell me sweet little lies
(Tell me lies, tell me, tell me lies)
Oh, no, no you can't disguise
(You can't disguise, no you can't disguise)
Tell me lies
Tell me sweet little lies♪

Luna bless America, I'll be having that song stuck in my head all day. lol

6102372 No worries, mate.

BTW I also think this story is well written, and deserves to be popular.

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