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The Crystal Mafia1,012 words
Dinosaurs!728 words
Supa Fighter763 words
Helicopters774 words

Helicopters

The combatants gulped in fear as sixteen more helicopters descended on their position. Each helicopter was competently equipped with the latest Mark LXIX banana chip heat-seeking ballistic missile system, capable of leveling entire reinforced structures with the decadence of artificial flavoring. The helicopters also had a high-powered anti-antagonist vanilla milk cream frosting machine gun with a magazine holding three hundred vanilla beans and two gallons of milk to dish out Type V diabetes to any unsuspecting soul.

“WHO?!” the voice over the public announcement system barked.

Normally, if this were a typical story, the combatants would take up defensive positions to protect themselves from the juggernauts flying above them. The old adage of “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” would be familiar to most of the individuals reading this story right now. Or perhaps the story would force the combatants to flee in panic, while they attempt to evade like seventy missiles gunning them down, but due to their immense plot armor, they would still manage to survive, enabling the story to carry on for another fifty-five chapters or something.

But this is no ordinary story. Expect the unexpectable!

While Spoiled Richard wasted no time in triggering the automatic anti-air system protecting the facility from any aerial assault, unlike some other story, of course, Twilight was casting a powerful spell. The ultimate spell. The spell to end all spells. She was dissatisfied with the lack of response from the so-called abandoned facility, and decided to scan the building for sapient life. Quickly zoning down onto three individuals, she immediately realized she lacked the magic level to be able to wrest control of the 37 year old Amberclue due to her incredible intelligence.

Her tracing spell, however, managed to locate an intellectually-dim individual, and now fiddling with her amazing spell enhancifier, had captured the memories of Spoiled Richard. Armed with this decisive information, she began to make a beeline onto their geographic position immediately, leaping off the helicopter 3,584 feet above sea level.

Unfortunately, Amberclue instantly diagnosed Spoiled Richard’s condition. His eyes were quivering. His hooves were stone still. His ears were flickering wildly. Someone was probing deep into the confines of his mental state through magical compulsion.

Being a unicorn, she decided to counter this magical compulsion with an anti-magic magical spell, disrupting the harmonics of the tracking and controlling spell Twilight had cast. This broke Twilight’s spell.

But it was too late. The final confrontation between Spoiled Richard and Twilight Sparkle was about to commence, as Twilight had managed to spot them through a half-shattered window, conveniently. Twilight flew into the room through this gap and flared her wings regally.

Spoiled Richard, seeing that he had no other option, unsheathed the amazing runic-infused, magically-enhanced sword called the Spectre of Thunder. As Twilight feasted her eyes on the crackling power of this mythical blade, she subconsciously took a step back, her jaw dropping.

An ominous cacophony of thunder fried the tension in the room to a crisp. The hieroglyphics on the sword glowed brilliantly under what little sunlight was shining through. Legends spoke of how the Spectre of Thunder was able to decimate entire armies in a single slash, as its crackle of thunder evoked fear that no one could possibly evade.

Now, it was time. Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, sister to the one and only Captain Shining Armor was about to go up against the might of the Spectre of Thunder.

Twilight wasted no time. She leapt into action, casting a freeze spell on Spoiled Richard, paralyzing his grip on the Spectre of Thunder. Spoiled Richard didn’t resign that easily though, as he brought his forehoof down onto the ground, slamming the ice shard into 3.4 billion pieces. Twilight followed on with the attack, her horn charging and firing a beam of magic targeting the Spectre of Thunder itself.

The sword sparked.

“NANI—I mean, what the—” Spoiled Richard’s jaw collapsed. “The sword! You—”

Twilight smiled, her teeth glistening in the radiance of sunlight.

The sword crackled with ancient energies.

Twilight’s eyes widened.

Spoiled Richard stood starstruck.

The sword flashed and exploded with the explosive energy of 3.4 grams of TNT. The bang was deafening, at least to a cricket. However, for the two combatants and the two now neutral bystanders, they had managed to clasp their ears shut and shield them sufficiently.

“Phew…” Twilight and Spoiled Richard sighed. “Wait!”—both of them spoke simultaneously and pointed at each other with a forehoof—“YOU destroyed the Spectre of Thunder!”

The door slammed open. “I’m from the Equestrian Archaeological Society. You two are under arrest for destroying a valuable piece of Equestrian history.”

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