GadZooks Adventures

by Kendallonian

Thomas Harner; CEO of CTC LLC

CTC Shipping LLC. EST 2015 Bowling Green, Ohio, USA

Dear Mr. Gad and Mr. Zooks,
We at Coast To Coast Shipping strive to deliver all freight on time. But due to a few 'issues', we have been requiring new employees at our warehouse in Nashville TN. The current positions are front entrance Security and Forklift Operator. We would like to hire you both as temporary staff. Everything from Hourly pay to Lodging will be covered plus training by our vetrean workers. Full benifits are included. Pay is up to $50/hr. If you have any questions or would like to accept the offer, please call at 1-800-445-3325.
Signed,
Thomas Harner CEO of CTC LLC.

Zooks squinted at the letter, which was written on a parchment that was more white than he had ever seen before. Gad, who had handed it to him, looked over his shoulder.

“So… you have any idea what to make of this?” Gad said

“Well, I think it’s a job offer.” Zooks said.

“Well, yeah.” Gad said, rolling his eyes. “But what I meant to ask was, is it, like, from another world?”

“I mean, I think so… but it’s hard to tell, isn’t it?” Zooks said. “They didn’t list their dimension in the address, so it might be difficult to find them…”

“Well maybe that’s what the number at the end there is for?” Gad said.

“I mean… maybe, but it’s not like any dimensional address I’ve ever seen.” Zooks stated as he squinted at the clusters of numbers.

“Well, at least the pay is good… I think…” Gad said. “Any idea what that kind of currency that ‘S’ symbol is supposed to mean?”

“Nope.” Zooks said. “But I’m not sure we can afford to refuse anyway; This seems like the only offer we’ve got so far, and we’re already running low on supplies.”

“But how do we find them?” Gad asked. “I mean, without their dimensional address?”

Zooks thought for a second. “Well, If I can get my hands on some crystal chalk I might be able to run a trace on this letter; then it’d simply be a matter of reversing the Matrix to send us there. That’d be expensive though.”

Gad smiled; “ah!” he said; “but you forget that, per the original contract, all interdimensional travel arrangements are to be covered by the employer. We’re good to go!”

Zooks worried expression melted away. “Oh yeah!” he said. Then he adopted a confused look. “um, you do think that these folks are aware of how much interdimensional travel costs, right?”

“Pssh! Of course!” Gad said. “This letter is obviously from some sort of higher being with unparalleled knowledge of the multiverse. How else could this letter have reached us?”

Zooks thought about that for a moment, then shrugged. “You have a point,” he said.

---

Thomas Hamer, CEO of Coast-to-Coast Shipping, was, in fact, extremely unaccustomed to interdimensional portals. Therefore, when one appeared near the ceiling in his office, he was surprised, confused, and perhaps even a little fearful. His confusion mounted considerably when A small, green bundle exited the tear through spacetime, followed quickly by two feathered, quadrupedal creatures.

“Hi!” shouted the yellow one.

“Um, hello.” the blue one said. “We’re here about the job. Also, you currently owe us 62 Equestrian bits.”

It was then that Thomas began to think that responding to an ad on a fanfiction website may have been a bad idea.

---

“Soo… what exactly is a forklift?” Zooks asked as he was led towards a large, gray warehouse.

John, The skinny young man escorting him, raised an eyebrow. He had been doing this with alarming frequency ever since the blue hippogriffin had reported in for his shift.
“Do they not have machines where you come from?”

“Machines?” Zooks said as he suddenly pressed his beak uncomfortably close to the Human’s face and looked him in the eyes. “I love machines!” From his tone, John thought it seemed like he had just been promised an entire candy store.

“Ooookaay…” John said as he pried Zooks’ talons off of his shoulders, enabling him to take a step away from the hippogriffin. “Well a forklift is a cargo-loading machine. You pick up boxes with it, then drive it wherever we need them to go, and put them down.”

It was Zooks’ turn to raise an eyebrow. “Drive it? Well, I mean if that’s how you normally do it.” He reached into his bags and pulled out a cattle prod, letting it crackle and pop with bolts of electricity once it was out.

John took another step back. “Holy- Why do you keep a taser-stick in your backpack?”

Zooks’ expression became even more confused. “You don’t?”

---

Gad was bored. He had thought that any job labeled ‘security’ would be full of detective-work and chasing down bad guys. In reality, Gad was standing next to a warehouse door at two in the morning, trying not to fall asleep.

For his part, Gad stood stock still and kept his eyes peeled open for as long as he could manage, but unfortunately many years of sleeping on the trail had enabled him to sleep in practically any position. Before he knew it, he was snoring on the asphalt and concrete ground, a thin line of drool extending from his beak.

Across from Gad’s sleeping form, in the bushes on the far side of a chain link fence, a rustling could be heard; or would have been heard if anyone listening had been awake at the time. Two faces hidden by black ski masks emerged from the darkness and scanned the warehouse compound.

“You sure about this, Joe?” one, skinnier figure said.

“Absolutely, Jerry.” the other replied; he was larger, and smelled faintly of beef and cheese. “This warehouse has been understaffed for the last couple weeks; now’s the perfect time to pull this job.” He pulled out a pair of wire-cutters and began working on the fence as his partner kept a lookout.

As Jerry's eyes scanned the concrete landscape, lit orange by various security lights, they fell upon a small form slumped next to a warehouse entrance. He patted his partner’s shoulder and directed his attention towards the orange-yellow lump.

“What’s that over there?” Jerry whispered.

Joe sighed and took his attention away from his work with the wire-cutters. He squinted in the low light.

“I dunno.” he finally said. “Maybe it’s some roadkill; who cares?.” Joe attempted to get back to cutting the fence.

“Don’t look like any roadkill I ever et.” Jerry said. “And I think it’s still breathin’. Maybe they got some kinda guard dog?”

Joe rolled his eyes. “If they can’t afford any staff, they can’t afford any dogs for sure.”

Jerry screwed up his face. “Really? You think so?”

Joe eyed Jerry. “Don’t you know nothing about eco-nomics?”

Jerry shrugged. “Nope. I dropped out of high school before then.”

Joe’s gaze narrowed. “Well so did I, but you don’t see me using it as an excuse. Just keep your eyes out for any real guards, will ya?”

Jerry dutifully peeled his eyes once again and surveyed the mostly empty lot while his partner finished cutting away a section of the fence. One he was able to fold it open, Joe motioned Jerry inside. Jerry may have been a noodle-armed idiot, but Joe also knew that Jerry was by far the sneakier of the two, not to mention that Joe would rather Jerry be the foremost target if they were to be discovered.

Jerry silently went on ahead, only signalling Joe once he was sure no guards were coming. Joe then followed, his own footsteps about as stealthy as a careful Hippopotamus despite his best efforts. As the duo neared the warehouse, Jerry put out an arm to stop his partner.

“I dunno what that thing is, but it ain’t no roadkill, and it certainly ain’t no dog.” Jerry whispered.

Joe gritted his teeth. “It don’t matter what it is; it’s sleeping! Get moving!”

Jerry didn’t move. “I don’t feel good about this. What if it’s one of them fancy new see-cure-ity systems?”
“It ain't!” Joe said, getting to the edges of what could be considered a whisper before stopping himself. “Just- you know what? Fine. I’ll go first.”

Joe pushed past Jerry, who proceeded to peek out from behind his partner’s shoulder like an archer taking cover behind the battlements of a castle. Joe’s squeaking shoes were unbearable as they approached the sleeping form, and as they passed by, Jerry switched sides to keep his partner between him and the strange creature.

Joe reached the warehouse’s sliding door and smiled. “Heh, y’see Jerry? No problem at all.” He proceeded to softly break the padlock with his bolt-cutters.

The door had only opened a tiny crack when Gad’s eyes flew open. He immediately sprung to his four feet and rounded on the infiltrators, giving a growl reminiscent of a lion’s With his wings flared. Both Joe and Jerry froze in place.

“Now don’t panic.” Joe said slowly and quietly as he struggled to contain his panic. “We got him outnumbered; we could take him.”

Gad drew his golden longsword from it’s previously unnoticed scabbard.

Joe had been about to say something else to Jerry, but when he looked, he found that his partner had suddenly disappeared; though he did hear panicked, fading footsteps from far, far away.

Joe sprinted for the chain link fence as Gad flapped his wings and swung wildly through the air using both front claws; A sound emanated from Gad’s beak that might have been compared to Donald Duck if the cartoon character had caught rabies and gone full serial killer. Joe didn’t dare look back until he had slipped back under the chain link fence and vowed seven times over never to do anything like this ever again.

Another guard, a human one, ran around the edge of the warehouse, where he found Gad back at his post, who was wiping the spittle off of his beak.

“What was that noise?” the guard asked. “And… what happened to you?”

“Oh, just an involuntary reaction.” Gad said, his speech somewhat distorted as he got the last of the moisture off of his face. “Did you know griffons have a hoarding instinct? They make the best sentries in equestria, and I’m at least half griffon.”

Comments

[Movingtarget Productions]

Perfect

[Starlight Nova]

Why does the short description of this story have an asterisk in it?

[Kendallonian]

11000218
ah, yes; see Gad and Zooks are Hippogriffins, but some people mistake that for Hippogriffs; which is only half true. They are both half griffon and half hippogriff, and I just wasn't sure where to put that.

[Movingtarget Productions]

CTC Shipping LLC. EST 2015 Bowling Green, Ohio, USA

Dear Mr. Gad and Mr. Zooks,
I had received word on what you did at the Nashville warehouse and decided to fully hire you. There are a large number of warehouses that need staffing and could use your assistance. Locations include

• Toronto, Canada
• Los Angeles, California
• Los Vegas, Nevada
• Dallas, Texas
• Houston, Texas
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
• Kansas City, Missouri
• Bowling Green, Ohio (HQ)
• Dearborn, Michigan
• Greenville, Wisconsin
• And many more!

Positions include

• Driver (CTC Freight)
• Driver (CTC Transit)
• Security
• Forklift
• Trailer organizer
• Locomotive operator (Switcher [CTC Rail])

Call me personally at 419-543-1955 with the provided cell phone. Hope to hear back.
Signed,
Thomas Harner
P.S. PLEASE for the love of god use the front doors instead of popping into my office without warning