Having an imaginary friend is a completely normal thing a foal can have.
"Like me!"
But a voice in your head that doesn't know when to stop? That is not normal.
"At least your filly days are not boring!"
At least he teaches me how to read minds and hopefully other mind tricks. Then maybe I'll keep him around.
Disclaimer:
The MLP: FiM universe and characters used in this story aren't subject to being canonical to the show's story. It is a pure fictional fan-made story using characters and locations from the show.
Chapters (1)
Can't wait for chapter 2
A bit of a lackluster start for what I'm assuming is going to be a multi-part story. It's an interesting premise, but I feel like it needed a lot more setup in this first chapter to explain what's going on. There needed to be at least a little more exposition to establish Sweetie Belle's situation before you launch into the mind reading plot. Heck, if I hadn't seen the tags, I wouldn't have even known it was Sweetie Belle we were following in the first place.
I realize that it's a bit tricky to represent the sort of "dialogue" you have in this story through text, but I still have to point out that you seem to have made some mistakes in your formatting scheme a few times. Regarding word emphasis, try not to rely on caps lock to do that, as it is distracting. You can use italics, which you seem to be aware of, but you were using that method a bit too much as well. Beyond basic mechanical errors (punctuation, grammar), you also had some odd word choice and dialogue that felt a bit out of place for the characters. If you had just spent a little more time proofreading, I think you could have made this a really good one.
I am hoping that the voice encourages Sweetie Belle to get a new meat bicycle.