(( ps: welcome guys this is my First Fanfic here in FimFiction! So any criticism in order to improve my writing skills are welcome! Though this Fanfic will be Log based Writing so they’re no dialogues or actions will happen to this Fanfic. Instead it will be a Log based Paragraph where a protagonist will describe what she saw and heard in her POV. Not anyone’s POV. So enjoy reading! And please be civil on Criticism.
Yanna Chitin, a Changeling Tank Commander Prodigy, writes her Diary about her experiences in the Great War and as well as during the Pax Chrysalia Era. She hopes that writing her experiences that she saw and heard, made sure that others Changeling tank commanders and officers won’t make a same mistakes as she made before.
As well as writing about her typical life as Panzer Leutnant and maybe a glimpse of her past? You just need to read her side of the story to experience what was like to be a soldier on the other side.
(( This Fanfic is around the Hoi4 mod called Equestria at war, you should other books based around this mod, it’s real fun To read!))
awesome chapter mate keep it up
awesome chapter mate cant wait for the next chapter
10682628
Why thx for liking my first story
10682604
Thx mate!
awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter
10688146
Thx!!
I think I get what the story is going for but it’s so disorganized and unfocused I might be wrong in my assumptions.
10690799
well, it is a Diary based Fanfic... so what do you think? ( ps: this is my first story btw so be gentle on criticism
10700845
Are you a World of Tanks player?
10700848
no i'm not, this is based on a Hearts of iron 4 Mod called Equestria at war
10700851
Oh yes. I heard about this. I honestly wouldn't play that kind of thing. My psyche is already broken! Army and Prison!
10700855
ok
10700845
I think you picked a very difficult method of storytelling without understanding the medium. A diary-style story should never get into the details of a fight because its a diary, everything is written after the fact. Additionally a diary written by a military personnel would not write the details of troop numbers, movements or the assignments of other units, let alone different branches of the military.
You put in a lot of details to flesh out the world but those details are just getting in the way of the core of the story: Yanna Chitin and her experiences in the Great War. If all these extra characters don't add or contrast Yanna Chitin, what is the point in mentioning them?
10711207
i understand, this is my first fanfic story. so it won't be as amazing as it is...