The Letter [Prologue]
Curse of Immortality
Prologue
By: Fuliam
That simple white envelope.
It was, to quite simply put it, lying there. Doing absolutely nothing wrong. Yet it’s mystery taunted her. She knew that she would have to open it sooner or later, but now her mind wondered, exactly when did this envelope get on my desk, and how?
The wood gleamed from the fresh coat of polish she had applied not twenty minutes prior. Odd, she had only left for a quick moment to get a cup of water - and when she had returned, there it was. Which must have meant it was from somepony inside the castle. The more dramatic portion of her mind worked as she imagined a would-be assassin filling it with poison or some nasty disease. But the chances of that were slim, not to mention extremely ineffective on her. It was probably a just guard dropping off a letter. Yes, that must be it.
Her purple mane and tail flowed lightly in a non-existent breeze, it’s hues coloring a strange, swirling pattern that seemed to be constantly changing. Her wings were poised gracefully at her side, the lavender feathers rustling as she repositioned them ever so slightly. As her hooves struck the floor with the tone and power of royalty, she walked forwards.
Her magic surrounded the envelope with a gentle purple glow, as the top opened and letter within gently unfolded. Her eyes widened, and the patterns in her mane and tail stopped shifting. It seemed like she was frozen in time as the letter fell from her magical grip.
The letter was from a simpler time. It started like so many of her other letters had. Yet this letter twisted her hoof, almost forcing her to reminisce of her life only a few decades ago.
I said I was going to rewrite it, this is the prologue of that rewrite, stay tuned for more.
Yes I am still looking for more editors. If you want to help edit my story, please send me a message.
Thanks to my Amazing Editors, Mr. Yoke, MLP lover, DJ Garv the Expert, TheHylianBatman, and Northern Sprint
Version 2.2.1.4.0
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I don't remember if it was mentioned, but Celestia and Luna are still there, right?
1204276 its a gift and a curse reason you live longer than your friends and family and watch countless deaths and live over countless generations but you live forever and learn lots of different things
Interesting reboot. You've certainly got the description part down. Keep it up, I want to see how you expand the rest of the story.
1244927 Not to be cruel hearted but I think I could deal with the deaths of those around me (Since I could look at the good lives they lead).
Being immortal in Equestria, what I could not stand is nobody treating me as a friend. I think Celestia & Luna would have very few friends which they can talk to without having to wear their mask. I don't think I could handle that sort of loneliness.
1244874
Wasn't mentioned, but yes they are.
"It was probably a just guard dropping off a letter."
needs to be changed to
"It was probably just a guard dropping off a letter."
wow...still beautiful
Yay! I fixed it! Or I helped to, at least.
Very excited for two reasons.
1: you are going through with the rewrite
2: you didn't delete your previous story. I think it's cool to show how you have progressed, and interesting to present the story in two different ways.
On your writing: your style seems a bit rushed. Perhaps this prologue should start not with the letter, but rather with Twilight arriving from somewhere else. It is also a bit odd that she reacts so strangely to this letter, you should go into more detail as to why. Now whether you decide to rewrite this prologue or not is completely up to you, I think it's fine how it is, but in the future provide the readers with a little more information on why the characters in the story are reacting instead of just how.
1251358
I did everything in the prologue intentionally, it is meant to make you wonder exactly what is on the letter.
Looking forward to see this continue.
Hey. Hey. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey. How's the story going?