And The Meaning Of
Before long, we were stepping out of the room again, the whole town chattering loudly about what just happened. Twilight walked next to me, asking me more about it.
“You don’t really think she means me, do you?” the unicorn asked. “I mean, there’s just no way she’d ever think I was capable of taking her job. Maybe Cadance or one of Canterlot’s nobility, like Prince Blueblood. He is her nephew after all. But why is she giving it up at all in the first place?”
“I’m almost certain I talked to her about this,” I responded, “but I can’t remember what exactly she told me because I had diphtheria. But yes, there’s no way she’s talking about anyone else but you.”
“But how do you know though?” she asked. “That's just a guess. There’s no way you can know something like that."
“I’m not guessing, and I know because I’m not a big dumb idiot,” I responded. “Celestia has been broadcasting just about everything she’s been doing since I got here. I can put one and one together.”
“Well I’m not so sure you’re right,” Twilight argued. “But anyway, I wanted to ask about what was going on with Caramel. I don’t think Pinkie Pie was just being silly like she said.”
“That’s something you’d have to ask Caramel about,” I told her. “I’m not at liberty to say their business. Actually, they explicitly asked me not to say anything about them, so–”
“Wait, is that where you’re getting all of this ‘being a colt’ business?” Twilight asked. “Just because an adult wants to pretend–”
“Did you not hear Celestia say yesterday that I am a man?” I asked. “Did you miss the part where I’m twenty five years old and not from Equestria? She spelled out to you that I’m not from here and was turned into this. Are you intentionally being obtuse?” I didn’t even know why I was asking. Of course she was.
“Well, yes, but I- I mean, no! I'm not being obtuse! I just haven’t gotten around to asking you about all that is all…” she said embarrassedly, clearly trying to think up an excuse. “I mean, I was going to yesterday, but after you so rudely stomped off–”
“After you called me something that Celestia said not to, after she explicitly laid out to you that I am not this little filly you think I am.”
I stopped where I was and stared intently at her, waiting to see what she would say next. I hoped for something along the lines of ‘let’s start over’, which I was absolutely willing to do. If I could not be at odds with the future ruler of Equestria like I was with the current one, I would take it.
“Yeah, well, it doesn’t help when you have that attitude and talk to the Princess however you want to,” she said. “You know respect is supposed to be earned, right? You have to give it to receive it. If you disrespect my teacher, then you’re disrespecting me.”
I wanted to scream. Talking to this pony was frustrating as heck. I knew I was only pushing the boiling point further down the road, but I didn’t want to deal with all of this right now. I simply stomped forward, once again for the millionth time getting myself bent out of shape because of these ponies.
Or maybe things did come to a boiling point, or at least simmered over, because a second later I was stopped again, crying where I stood. It only made me more upset, because I knew she was going to look at me more like I was a small child.
“Look, Asher, I didn’t mean to-”
“No!” I yelled. “I don’t want to play this game! I don’t want to argue back and forth with you all day and have you treat me like a little kid and a girl when I’m not those things! It’s already depressing enough that I’m never going to see my friends or family again or get my life back! I don’t need you to add on to that!”
It seemed I’d gotten through to her with my tears, because she looked like she genuinely felt bad by how I was reacting. I wished though that it was my words that had gotten through to her and not my tears. I shouldn't have had to be upset enough to cry to get things resolved.
“I’m sorry Asher,” she said quietly, bending down to speak to me. “It’s hard on me, too. I’ll try my best to be better, okay? Can you please stand up now? I really don’t want to have a scene out here.”
I had to huff and roll my eyes at that. “It’s just annoying that you’re more worried about a scene than you are me. I shouldn’t have to cry to get you to realize that you’re hurting me when I already directly told you so. More than once, in fact.”
“Look, I’m sorry, I’ll stop, okay? Now please stand up.”
I rolled my eyes again, something I felt like I did every other minute as I got up. I didn’t believe that she would be better, but I hoped she would. I heard the same thing from Cheerilee though, and she hadn’t changed, so I wasn’t in the wrong to be reluctant to believe her.
We walked in silence back to the library, my brooding expression probably stopping her from asking anything until we got there. She didn’t miss the opportunity though, waiting until once we were inside to talk to me again.
“So where are you from?” she asked casually as she grabbed a book off the bookshelf and sat at a table, trying to make it seem like she was uninterested in me.
“A place called Earth,” I answered flatly. “Do you have any interesting books I can read? I’m not really feeling up to reading economics again.”
“I’m not sure what you’d like, but there’s a whole library full of books here. I’m sure you’ll find something.” She paused, then asked, “Earth? Like, a town of just earth ponies?”
“I’m from Wilmington, Delaware,” I said, “but I told this all to Miss Cheerilee, so… no, I told it to Miss Redheart, and she told it to Miss Cheerilee, so either way, you probably got all of this information.”
“She told me that you were twenty five- well, that you said you were about to be twenty five, and that your father was a scooter mechanic?”
“A car mechanic. I guess trains are a better comparison since you guys have those here, but I didn't know that at the time.”
“She also said you believed in a pony you said was a deity called ‘God’ and that you might be displaying attention seeking behavior.”
“And she had a patronizing tone and actively did nothing to help me or treat me the way I wanted to be treated,” I spat angrily, still upset by that. “It would’ve been fine if I was actually nine years old, but I’m not. I should have asserted myself more during that first week here”
“Hmm. Well, forgive me if it sounds unbelievable to hear, but it does. It honestly sounds like you’re just playing pretend or making things up.”
“Then take it up with your teacher, Celestia, because she certainly believed me about most of it, not that she’s going to do anything about it. None of the people who were supposed to actually help me seemed like they wanted to very much. In a place full of magic, everyone’s been remarkably dismissive.”
“Well then, what’s your name?” the mare asked. “Cheerilee told me it was Ashley, but you’ve been calling yourself Asher.”
“I’ve never used the nickname ‘Asher’ once until I was turned into a girl, but my full name is Ashely Clifford Rockford. Not really a fan of Rocky as a nickname, and I’m certainly not a big red dog, so Ashely is what I go by. Err, went by, until I got here.” I thought of something before she could ask another question, and said, “For every question you ask, I get to ask one. So where are you from? Keep in mind you already asked me two questions, so I get two now.”
“I’m from Canterlot, the capital of Equestria,” she told me. “I lived with my parents until I was eighteen, then moved into an apartment while I studied under Princess Celestia until she sent me here a few weeks ago for the Summer Sun Celebration.”
“What’s it like there? Because it sounds like it’s a lot of politicians, like DC.” Also, it was a horse pun of ‘Camelot’, but I didn’t bring that up since she probably wouldn’t understand.
“There’s a lot of members of nobility there, the highest among them being Princess Celestia. Princess Cadance also lives there, and so does Prince Blueblood. The rest of them are dukes and barons and things of the like.” Then she asked, “Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness?”
Wow, she was just going straight for that. “My father called me a lunatic when I told him I was doing confirmation with the Lutheran church, and I think a doctor would tell me I have gender identity disorder right now since I look like a girl, but other than that, no. Have you been diagnosed with a mental illness?”
Apparently, she wasn’t prepared for that, because her cheeks went bright red and she looked away. “I- well, I was diagnosed with obsessive personality disorder when I was a teenager, and have been going to therapy for it since then. But I doubt it’s as noticeable now as it would’ve been before.”
It was extremely noticeable, and I couldn’t say I wasn’t surprised. If she thought it wasn’t as bad as it was before, I could only shudder to think of what she was like as a teenager.
“As if you’re not a carbon copy of her,” I thought to myself. Well, not a carbon copy. It was more like a caricature of myself that I might meet in a college classroom somewhere. I could actually see myself being friends with her if she could tone down how rude she was. I, at least, kept my comments to myself and tried to be respectful.
“You shouldn’t think like that at all. Respect is about more than what you say. Having ill thoughts in your heart isn’t much better than saying them out loud.”
“What do you look like as whatever creature you’re supposed to be?” she asked.
“I stand on two legs and have two arms, a long body, and straight, jet black hair on account of being half Asian… or an eighth Asian depending on who you ask. If you can believe it, all four of my grandparents are half Asian, despite the odds, so I technically qualify as half Asian based on genetics. I normally keep my hair cut short though, way shorter than this. I still have extremely fair skin though, somehow. I’m probably the palest person in all of America. Certainly in my family. If you saw me, you might think, ‘generic white guy’ unless I grew out my hair. I dyed it blonde once though, and I’m telling you, you wouldn’t have been able to pick me out of a crowd.”
“Huh. That’s certainly a mental image you created for me. What does ‘Asian’ mean?”
“It’s a group of countries in the far eastern hemisphere of Earth where most people on Earth live. Mostly China and Japan and Korea and India, but Saudi Arabia and Iran and Israel and Russia count as Asia, too. I’m talking about more Japan and Korea, though, Korea specifically. Also, that was two questions, so I get two now.”
We went on like this for more than a little while, a couple of hours actually, just asking questions back and forth. I learned in our conversation that she had an older brother and that she was, in terms of this world, in college. I was also noticing she cared more about being right than she did about how people took what she said, just based on some of the answers she gave, and was indeed quite obsessive like I thought. Apparently, she was seeing a counselor every month in Canterlot to work on her issues. I wondered if I should see one, too, but for depression instead, because being here with nothing to do all day was going to get extremely depressing, even more than it already was.
It might have been a good thing I was staying with her, because it was giving me a lot to reflect on about myself.
She and I probably would’ve gone on back and forth longer had there not been a flash interrupting us, Celestia suddenly appearing in the library, causing me to stumble back and fall on my butt.
“Twilight Sparkle, Asher,” she started, sending a smile my way and a brief glance in the eyes. “I hope you appreciated Princess Luna’s apology. What did you think of it?”
“Are you really retiring, Princess?” Twilight asked automatically, changing her face from normal to panic in a second. “There’s no way you can retire! Who’s going to protect Equestria if not you?”
“I’m sure someone suitable will be found, Twilight,” she said gently, like she was speaking to a child as she put a hoof on the unicorn’s shoulder. “Now please be at ease, Twilight.”
“But who’s it going to be?” she pressed. “Not Prince Blueblood, I hope. He certainly doesn’t have the temperament for it, even if he does know his way around Canterlot's royal circles. I would pick Princess Cadance if I were you, or maybe somepony like Fancy Pants, since he's much nicer than Blueblood is. I mean, Asher was trying to say you were going to pick me, but I can’t see how–”
“Twilight, please, be at ease,” Celestia told her again, more forcefully this time, shooting a look my way. “All will be revealed in time. I was only asking about Princess Luna’s apology. Also, if I could, I would like a moment alone with Asher, if I can have it.”
“Oh, uh, of course, Princess!” she said. “Anything you want! It’s no trouble to me.”
She smiled down at her, and then turned to me and looked me in the eye. “Shall we, Asher?” she asked, not waiting for an answer as she lit up her horn and teleported us away.
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Nice teleport, Lady Celeste.
Swing-and-a-miss when it comes to kindness. At this point, I'm imagining the Element of Harmony recoiling and hissing like a snake if Celestia ever got close to it.
11180162
Kind hiss you say
Lol about to get bitched out
I thought there might have been some kind of mental issue with Twilight, like moderate autism, with how set in her thought process she is. CPD was not on my guessing list.
Also, that last bit gives me a feeling of an impending rage rant. Good luck Asher!
celestia just cant leave well enough alone can she
China especially. There's like 1/5 of the world's population there. If not more.
I forget, was there an reason why this pony chooses to remain under the rules and dictates of Celestia? There would likely be many options out there if someone wanted to make their own way.
Good job this chapter, I can't wait to see Twilight and Asher becoming friends
Luna apologizing probably did help her image some, but with Asher it looks like he had already forgiven her. Also his actual name being Ashley was a surprise, but him wanting to go with something else makes sense.
And Twilight gets a bit of character development, it's nice to see her opening up to him.
11180768
Most fics that touch on that mentality adopt herd mentality (not in the porno way; though they are often implied to be synced when shipping rears up). You follow the leader. Don’t think; follow. The alpha leads because alpha.
Unlike our active, political, pack mentality where the unhappy break off alone to start new packs. Ponies are often passive and the show enforces this to a point. Starlight had a herd and was… insane while she had none. Cozy Glow stayed with society (even if on the outskirts) and tried to herd with the other villains; with decent success. All the loners were, like cozy, part of society even if adrift. Daring Do is the only one i can think of and she still interacts with her villains in pleasent ways like rivals instead of enemies.
Celestia is the top; if she claims the sky is green most will wonder why their eyes are bad before thinking that Celestia is wrong… or at least that is how the narrative typically goes.
11182656
Yes, this makes sense really. They are their own kinds of creatures in the end. But Asher is an 'adult' human, who should be able to make decisions. To stay in Ponyville is a choice i see way too often in stories like this. For whatever reason characters remain locked in their toxic situations instead of heading out to greener pastures. Likely it is not a good idea but generally it is not even explored.
Personally i do not mind Celestia who is drunk on her own power and considers Ponies to be beneath her. She has been in power for a long time now and it only makes sense that she has started to believe in her own story a bit too much.
11182994
“This pony” = Asher from first post?
I would knuckle down too; the body just isn’t old enough to function well in an adult sized world. If i was Asher now is a time of keeping your head down and getting skills/assets/connections to live on ones own… four… feet.
You have too many "ands" in the first sentence. As for the second, "about" and "more" need to switch places. Try this:
"Mostly China, Japan, Korea, and India, but Saudi Arabia, Iran, Israel, and Russia count as being part of Asia, too. I’m talking more about Japan and Korea, though, Korea specifically."
11185518
I would change it, but Asher is speaking out loud, and so he doesn't have to follow normal writing conventions when speaking.
A couple of chapters ago, I got so mad at Twilight I started writing a short story.
Today, I got so mad I finished it.
11186596
This is wonderful
11186904
You can use it if you want.
11180208
For me, it was Twilight and Pinkie Pie that showed the most autism traits in Season 1. Season 2 onward clarified that Twilight was obsessive, and that Rainbow Dash was on the spectrum.
I’m surprised MC answered any questions with Twilight before requiring she earn the privilege first. I would have told her to pound sand until she gets her act together.
"under different circumstances, we would have been friends! But alas, such simple prejudices have wrought ruin upon what could have been a beautiful relationship..."