• Published 1st Jul 2020
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Beyond Me - Boopy Doopy



This isn't me. I am not this pony.

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Yelling And Screaming

“Back already, Asher?” the librarian asked as I entered, still trying to catch my breath. “You went out to see Filthy Rich again, didn’t you? How’d that go?”

“Just as stupidly as you would think,” I said, flopping into a chair. “He kept saying the same thing about me being a little girl after I told him it bothered me, like he was trying to make me upset. And that was after I told him I could help him with his business.”

“Well, you can’t expect him to call you a colt when you’re not one, right?” Twilight said, making me roll my eyes. Of course, she still didn’t get it. Why did I even try?

“Yeah,” I said sarcastically, not bothering to explain it again when I had before. “Honestly, I kind of just want to go around and… actually, forget it. It doesn’t matter.”

“What?”

“Nothing. I’m going back to bed for a while.”

I wanted to say that I was considering just being petty and going around to find out what businesses he bought from to see if I could raise all of their prices, too, but I couldn’t say something like that to Twilight. If I did, it might get back to Filthy Rich and then he’d be all up on my flank again. It would definitely get back to Celestia, and I had a feeling she wouldn’t take kindly to hearing that. Nope, I had to keep it all internalized, just like I did everything else.

I flopped back into bed and fell asleep, waking up in the early evening to sunlight shining in my eyes. My head hurt, my body ached, I felt chilly– I was full blown sick. Again. What fun.

“How is this still an issue?” I wondered to myself as I closed my eyes again and breathed slowly. “I got every vaccination in the book. Unless this is just the flu… I hate this so much. Lord please let me get better… and please let me know that you haven’t abandoned me.”

“Asher! A bunch of ponies are here to see you!” Twilight called loudly, making my head pound painfully. “Should I let them go up or are you gonna come down?”

I knew who it was, and I didn’t know if I was in the mood for them right now. “Tell them I’m sick,” I tried to call, the words coming out kind of quietly.

“I’ll let them go up,” Twilight said, completely ignoring me. A second later, five fillies I knew were entering my room, taking one look at me and frowning in disappointment.

“Awww, we wanted to look for cutie marks,” Sweetie Belle complained, seeing how obviously sick I was.

“We told Diamond and Silver Spoon about our Talent Discovery Association when Apple Bloom stopped by, and we’ve been trying to think of what to do for talent hunting, when we decided we would go night hunting!”

“Night hunting?” I asked as I lay in bed, the other four looking me over as Scootaloo stood there with a proud smile on her face. “What on earth is that?”

“We go out into the Everfree Forest and hunt for monsters and try to kill them! And then we’ll get night hunting cutie marks! Button Mash was telling Sweetie Belle about it before.”

“That doesn’t sound like much of a talent,” I said, “and even if it was, I’m way too sick to be able to do anything like that. Honestly you guys shouldn’t even be around me. I’m gonna get you all sick.”

“We told you before Asher,” Sweetie Belle said. “If you’re sick, then we’re gonna have to get sick, too. Now come on!”

“I really don't even want to get out of bed,” I told her. “My whole body hurts. I’m not gonna be walking places anytime soon.” I let out a painful breath as I asked, “Isn’t there something you guys can do here? Something quiet, preferably? And that won’t get us covered in tree sap like that one time?”

“No! We wanna do this tonight! And we want everypony there, too, because the Everfree Forest is supposed to be super scary and filled with dangerous things!”

“Yeah, that sounds like a hard no from me,” I said. “I’ll pass. And I wouldn’t go out either, you guys. Isn’t that place supposed to be, like, dangerous?” I didn’t know much about it, but I did remember hearing a few times in passing that it wasn’t a place people should go.

“Yeah, it is!” Apple Bloom said excitedly. “That’s why we’re gonna go! And once we come back, we’ll know our special talent is night huntin’!”

“That sounds very dangerous, and I’m advising you all don’t do that,” I said, not really putting up much of an argument as I lay there, feeling the blood in my head pound. “That should be at the bottom of your list. There’s a hundred other things you can do.” Except stay there in the room with me, because I was for sure going to get them sick, and then Filthy Rich and a bunch of other parents would be mad at me. And maybe Celestia, too. Man, it was annoying to have to think about how every little thing I did or did not do affected her mood.

“Seriously, please don’t do that,” I told them. “It’s an awful idea and you definitely shouldn’t.”

“Fiiiine,” Scootaloo complained, rolling her eyes. “We won’t, Asher. I guess we’ll just find something better to do. Come on guys.”

All of them left, all except Silver Spoon, who stayed in the room. She looked me in the eyes, and then looked down at her hooves multiple times, seeming nervous or anxious about something. I was almost certain I knew what was coming– I could see it from a mile away– and the thought of it made me groan.

“Hey, um, I know you’re sick, but I was wondering something,” she started carefully. “Um, can I spend the night with you? Like, a sleepover? And I can take care of you if you’re sick.”

My inclination was to say no, but I didn’t. I did choose my words carefully, making sure to convey exactly what I was expecting.

“You can stay over if Twilight lets you and you're okay with maybe getting sick,” I said, “but I want to make it clear now that I’m not interested in you romantically.” She blushed and looked away, and I continued, “A lot of ponies have told me that you liked me, and I wanna say right now that I don’t look at you like that.”

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “You probably heard me telling other ponies that I like you. I just think you’re cute and smart and interesting. Plus, you got Diamond to stop hating Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.”

That made me extremely uncomfortable to hear. I didn’t like the idea that I was making girls like me, or anyone for that matter, and had to force my face not to go red at the thought of it.

“We’ve already established that you need to be respectful. You’re not influencing anyone into being gay or trans or whatever else. If that’s how they end up, that’s how they end up, and you need to be respectful about it and not think unkind things. If other ponies want to be that way, then that's okay. Besides, it’s not like you’re not… ugh.”

“I’m sorry,” she said again, probably reading the expression on my face. “I didn’t mean to make you feel worse.”

“It’s not that,” I said quickly, wiping whatever look I had off my face. “I’m just thinking about stuff. It’s nothing.”

“When are you going to… actually, no. I’m not gonna think that. I’m gonna push that thought down and ignore it.”

“But yeah, you can stay the night if you wanna. It’s gonna be pretty boring though, since I’m sick. I’m just going to be going back to sleep, honestly.”

“That’s okay,” she said. “I’ll grab a book to read and come back, okay?”

She left and went to do exactly that, climbing back in bed and pressing up against me, pushing her coat into mine. I had to roll my eyes in annoyance at the move. I should’ve just told her no to a sleepover instead of giving her the opportunity to get more attached to me.

I decided to push the problem away for later though, quickly falling asleep, my sick body not wanting to do anything else.


I practically jumped out of my skin when I was awoken by yelling downstairs. Silver Spoon was stirred by it, and made a grumble of annoyance, one that hurt my ears as a result of my already pounding head. The yelling didn’t let up though, and in fact, seemed to be growing more in intensity. I wondered what was going on.

It sounded angry, although my sick and tired mind couldn’t really piece together what was being said. It took a minute and a half of whoever was down there screaming at Twilight before I realized it was Filthy Rich. I looked out my window, seeing a dark sky and the moon hanging high in the center of it. What was he doing here so early? Or maybe so late?

It was not a good sign when I heard him marching up the stairs, getting probably halfway up when he was stopped. His yelling was closer now, and making my ears hurt more. I was worried about how bad it would get when he came into the room, and really hoped Twilight could talk him out of whatever was going on. I had a feeling it was something about me, because it always was, it seemed.

“Is Diamond Tiara’s dad here?” Silver Spoon asked groggily. “What’s he doing here? What’s going on?”

“I don’t know. This can’t be about prices again, unless he thinks I was raising prices again? I wasn’t.”

“I can hear her in there!” Filthy Rich suddenly said, barreling up the stairs and slamming the door open. I had to cover my ears as he yelled, “You! Is this your way of getting back at me for telling you off this morning? I’ll make sure Princess Celestia has your head for this!”

She wasn’t going to be able to have my head, because he was already taking it. His screaming was making my ears hurt. I wasn’t going to be able to take much of him screaming at me like this, and didn’t know what I would do if he kept on going.

“Have my head for what?” I asked. “Please don’t scream at me. I’m already sick, and–”

“No, I’m going to scream!” he yelled. “Don’t think I don’t know that it was you who convinced my daughter and her friends to head into the Everfree Forest!”

“Why would I do that?” I asked as I closed my eyes, whispering to try and bring his voice down. His yelling was killing me.

“I didn’t do anything like that,” I said. “Actually, I think I told them–”

“Save it! I’m not an idiot like you seem to think I am! I’ll make sure you get whatever punishment I can find for you for doing this to my daughter! It’s despicable!”

“I didn’t do that…” I kept my eyes firmly shut, my head pounding. This felt almost like an unreal situation.

“He really didn’t do that,” Silver Spoon vouched for me. “Asher actually told them not to go there, and they said they wouldn’t, Mr. Rich! You gotta believe him!”

“To Tartarus, she didn’t!” he screamed. I flinched reflexively as he did, on the edge of crying again, it hurt so bad.

“I know she did because I told her off about raising them prices over at Sweet Apple Acres!” he yelled. “If you think Mayor Mare or somepony in charge won’t hear about this, you can bet they will!”

“I didn’t do anything though,” I whispered, the wetness already starting to form. “Just ask them and they’ll tell you. Please stop yelling now.”

“He’s not lying, Mr. Rich,” Silver Spoon tried to say again. “Asher never lies! He really did tell them not to go! I was here when he did! I saw him!”

“I know she is, and if you keep telling lies, I’ll make sure your parents know you’re in on it, too, little missy!” he yelled. “Now where’s Mayor Mare? I want to make sure this gets brought to her attention right now. I’ll wake up the whole town if I have to!”

He marched off with that, leaving Silver Spoon and I alone with Twilight staring at us, blinking in confusion at what happened. The filly next to me sniffled a little bit as Twilight opened her mouth to speak, then stopped and shook her head, closing her eyes in annoyance.

“I know you didn’t do that, Asher,” she said after a long minute. “Well, I mean, I can’t know, but I–”

“He didn’t!” Silver Spoon said tearfully. “I promise, he didn’t! Everypony said they weren’t going to do that before they left! I don’t know why Mr. Rich thinks he did!”

“It’s fine, Silver,” I told her. “It’s just another thing to deal with in a long, long list of things.” I sniffled too as I continued, “And I know it’s gonna get back to Celestia and she’s gonna be up my butt about it and think I’m doing things on purpose, which was exactly why I told them not to…”

“I’ll talk to Princess Celestia if she says anything,” the librarian assured me. “I am her student after all, and she trusts me when I say something. I won’t let you get in trouble for something you didn’t do.”

“...thank you,” I told her. “Really, thank you. I appreciate it. I really just want to go back to sleep for now though… I can’t believe all this mess started over me wanting to help Apple Jack fix her barn.”

“It’s okay, Asher,” she said again. “I’ll talk to ponies. Everything’s going to be fine.”

“Okay. I trust you. Thanks.” I yawned and wiped my eyes before drifting back off to sleep. I had a feeling this wasn’t going to end well for one of us. Who it wasn’t going to end well for, I didn’t know.

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