Page generated in 0.017 seconds
Total duration
700 users online
988,008 hits today, 2,364,530 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
yup, here we go.
Cautiously waiting to see what happens. I have seen how things like this go before. Also I find it kind of funny just how fast his plate carrier went up.
10478776
To be fair, he hasn't washed it in... years? Probably covered in all kinds of dirt and flamable stuff
Good chapter; really short, though.
Also,
I changed this, and many other things, to be correct.
Peak, as you're using it; is as in the peak of a mountain.
To peek is to see quickly.
There's also a lot of punctuation, spacing, and wording you disagreed with that fixes small things that break immersion.
All that said, I hope for the best with our hero's, and that they make it out soon and healthy. Or at least minimally wounded.
Lol
10479062
Ah, that correction must have slipped past me. No worries.
10479062
is it just me Mocha, or does this Story explain how Earth could’ve turned into Equus?
10479556
Yes, it does!!
10480041
great to know i'm not the only one who thinks that,
Been a while since I had time to read these. I like this chapter, short and snappy. Although I found it a bit hard to tell sometimes, who the "he" was referring to during the gunfight. One sentence "he" is one of the raiders, the next sentence "he" refers to Cooper.
My suggestion would be to clearly establish who you are referring to (Cooper or "the man/raider/whatever") and then shorten that to "he" or "him". Repeat every time the focus changes to another character.
10500457
The second they caused bodily harm they were fair game for being shot dead on the spot! They had no other motive other than to kill her.
Paradise Lost
I'm actually kinda surprised some people don't know what a plate carrier is considering the gigantic overlap between mlp,military,and shooter games.