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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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10575238
Chapters I edit are far less robotic and more emotional. Enjoy them like I did your Soldier of Magic series... except the last book... I just didn't get it after about 20% of the book so I took a break. Nothing really happens, unlike your other stories, after so long.
Great chapter and one of the best so far. A lot happens in so short a chapter, a great skill to have.
A lot happens? All I am reading is about more taking care of wounds from more getting shit on. This story feels a lot like the other one I am struggling to get through. One shit storm after another. It gets to be more tiresome and boring to read. I do so hope this starts going somewhere...
10594978
What's the other one?
10594978
I know this chapter was kinda repetitive considering the previous situations they've been through. However having said that, I do fully intend to pick things back up with the next chapter. I just had to get through treating the wounds since I'm writing this story to be as realistic as I can possibly make it.
10595089
Well you can toss realism out the door with that stuff. Considering how badly injured they were. A simple first aid kit isn’t going to remotely cut it. A hospital is more in order for this situation. You can’t just flap flesh back over and wrap it with gauze and expect it to heal. Doesn’t work that way. Especially in the guys case. Sounded like a lot of damage by some emancipated half dead wolf. Hell I’d be more concerned with possible Infection or some disease from the damn thing.
Not trying to shit on you, so please don’t think I am. I am just saying this chapter felt stiff I guess you could say. Hope this story goes somewhere because I do like it.
10595019
Strange Bedfellows. Though I guess you can say getting shit on in that story is par for the course since it involves warhammer 40k. Not a lot of sunshine and rainbows for that.
10595640
I'm so torn, because I want to defend myself here and tell you why what I wrote makes sense, but I don't want to spoil what's coming in the next few chapters. So... take this with a grain of salt, but I am aware that a simple first aid kit wouldn't cut it here. I just have bigger plans in motion.
10595651
Oh yeah, I read that, but Don't recall it. I don't know how much I read, either, because it was in ebook form, post download.
I guess I can look it up, but WH40K and anything = crappy days for everyone. Like all, but my one, RGRE are all about sex or so many HiE ones are all about Gary and Mary doing their thing.
I'm with you on hoping for the best for the future of this story, so we're in it together for both! Because, now I"m gonna check out the Strange Bedfellows again.
10595640
I concur, to a point. There isn't anything that says Cooper tried to actually heal her wound, just patch them and leave them both hoping for the best.
Maybe they'll come across a real medical doctor and time-skip to a healed but scarred TS, maybe there'll be this glaring issue remaining... maybe its a fever dream and TS is dying after her wounds... ?
Only the author knows and we're in the same boat, waiting to see what happens next.
Also, his arm is shite at this point and I would have been in shock from the pain alone, just as bad as Twilight, if not worse, from it all. But, this is fantasy, take it all with a grain of salt. Not every author, or even many at all, can cover everything dealing with injury, since we're not typically trained or experienced in all those skills nurses and doctors have.
I'm not knocking your comment or take on the scene, just opining on the scene as well.
Merry early Christmas to you too ! And I dare say, between the treatment (which, as others pointed out, might leave a bit more than a few scars) and the missing rifle... things are flying straight to the fan, and once it hit... As some says "I've got a bad feeling about this".
Which is good, cause that mean I'll be there to see it all
10595659
And hey that’s perfectly fine! I guess I am being a bit overzealous on things and thinking to critically. Sorry for me acting like a jerk. I defiantly do not mean it.
10596690
It's alright. It's for reasons like this that I used to tell readers that everything will be explained in future chapters. As long as you're still enjoying the story then I'm happy :)
I partially agree with previous comments. While I wouldn't call this story particularly repetitive, it does seem like every time they somewhat recover from one injury they immediately get hurt again as bad or worse. I suppose it's par for the course, given that the story is set in an apocalyptic wasteland, but it may be a bit excessive.
I mean, their last major injury was only a week or so ago and now they have to deal with a torn up and broken arm, and a torn up shoulder, both possibly facing severe infection. I'm sure there is a reason you are keeping them down, so to speak, but I hope that whatever you have planned for them is worth the suffering.
That being said I did enjoy this chapter, particularly the interaction between the two. Twilight's slight confusion does seem to be probable given the loss of blood she suffered, plus it provides some opportunity for funny dialog.
In any case, let's hope things finally don't immediately go south for them again in the next chapters.