chapter 1
A supernatural family 'special'
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
It was a beautiful day in Ponyville, all the ponies getting up bright and early to greet the day!
And what better way to do so, then-
Twilight bursts from her home to sing:
Morning in Ponyville shimmers-
She points to Rainbow Dash to continue as she flies by-
Morning in Ponyville shines-
She points to Rarity as she trots by-
And I know for absolute certain-
She points to Applejack as she trots by-
That everything is certainly fine.
She points to Derpy-
There's the Mayor en route to her office-
She sings before crashing and letting the mayor take things from there...
There's the sofa clerk selling some quills-
The mayor's singing cues said clerk to begin-
Our Ponyville is so gentle and still-
He points to Bon Bon-
Can things ever go wrong?
Her friend Lyra jumps in-
I don't think that they will-
Rose then jumps by to continue-
Morning in Ponyville shimmers-
Octavia pops out with her violin-
Morning in Ponyville shines-
DJ Pon-3 pops up beside her friend to beatbox the next part-
And I know for absolute certain-
Whoa Nelly bounces along happily
That everything is certainly—
She points to a strange white, brown haired unicorn wearing jacket and pants-
"Nope, not doing this." Said the unicorn flatly.
(Record scratch)
All the ponies- their heart song prematurely ended -found their mystically-endowed choreography abruptly leave them and causing them all to crash into things and each other-
OW!
No, not again!
OW!
Your ruined the whole song man!
OW!
That's fifth time this week!
OW!
The Pony in question just ignored them and trotted off to his home... Twilight Sparkle watched him with concern. Ever since the Winchester brothers had come to Ponyville several months ago, things had been... 'interesting'...
They'd been shaking things up the moment they crashed into their lives...
...the Night of Nightmare Moon's return...
Celestia hugged her newly reformed sister sobbing, "Oh, sister how I have missed you-
CRASH!
Both sisters screamed as a strange metal chariot crashed through the ceiling and crushed them both...
The mane six gaped in horror as the leaders of their country were crushed, two ponies emerged from the chariot. A white, brown haired unicorn and a golden red mained earth pony. Both wearing jackets and pants...both crawling out of their 'chariot' dizzily and vomiting...
"What the fuck...WHAT THE FUCK!? Screamed Dean(the unicorn) as he saw his hooves...
"I CAN'T FEEL MY SPLEEN!" Screamed Luna under "Baby".
Pinkie sighed, "Well, so much for our PG rating..."
...
Evidently, Dean(the unicorn) and Sam(the earth pony) were once 'humans' and came from another world. Apparently they were just 'driving' when the earth swallowed them up and sent them to Equestria. After going to the Hospital, the two sisters allowed the brothers to stay in Ponyville until a way could be found to send them home.
Whether this was because of their boundless mercy or the large amount of painkillers given to them is still up for debate...
...
Both seemed so sullen and depressed being unable to get home, so naturally Pinkie Pie wanted to throw them a party!
SURPRI-
BANG!
BANG!
...it didn't end well...
Fortunately, the two brothers were still getting used to their hooves so their aim suffered. No ponies were killed...injuries were still bad though...
...
After that, most ponies just left them to themselves. But Twilight, having learnt the importance of friendship was determined to make sure these two strange newcomers didn't fall into the same loneliness she once had before making friends!
The only problem was that while Sam was at least willing to somewhat open up and explore this new land a bit, his brother Dean flat out refused to have anything to do with any pony else if it could be avoided. He spent most of his time doing research on possible ways to return home and fixing/prepping his 'car' in seclusion.
When Twilight got the grand galloping Gala tickets she believed she saw a way to extend an Olive branch to the Winchester boys and hopefully get them to open up...instead-
...
"Why did she only send two tickets?" Asked Dean suddenly. Twilight quirked her head confused, this was not the response she was expecting! "What?"
"Yeah, didn't you literally have a whole thing where you and your friends saved your rulers sister and your country? Where your FRIENDSHIP- Dean made a groaning noise at that -was literally the key to all that? So why didn't she send enough tickets for all of you?" pointed out Sam.
Twilight frowned at that...she'd been too busy deciding who to give the tickets to...but now that he brought it up... "Wait...your right...that makes no sense..."
"Oh, for the love of- Bet you five bits that this is another cryptic-as-hell 'friendship lesson'." Mocked Dean annoyed.
Twilight looked at him confused, "what do you mean?" "It's just like Sam said, you literally just made a bunch of friends- ON HER ORDERS -and yet she only sends you two tickets? So either she's forgetful, ungrateful, or she's pulling the same trickster-mentor-BS she did when she told you to 'stop reading old books and make friends'. Now which one would you rather it be?"
Twilight's eye's widen, his logic was a merciless slap to the face...and yet...she couldn't refute it...
Dean shrugs, "Well, it doesn't matter anyway. Me and Sam don't have time to waist at some stupid party."
"WHAT!?" gasped Twilight's friends, the idea of missing the biggest party of the year was unthinkable to them! They quickly began to try to convince them to go, talking about how great the Gala was and what they'd do there.
Dean gives them a weird look, "Okay, first of all- points to Applejack -Why would ponies PAY you for food when there's a bunch of FREE catered food from professional chiefs from all over the world?"
Applejack blanched at that, "Uh, well..." She hadn't thought of that...
"And you- points to Rainbow Dash -You want to interrupt a bunch of daredevils while their performing an air stunt? Putting aside the danger that puts you, the Wonderbolts, and the audience in- Well, would YOU like if some hotshot popped out of nowhere and interrupted your show and screwed up your routine?"
"Huh...I guess I didn't think of that..." Admitted Rainbow reluctantly...
He points to Pinkie, "Look Pinkie, I know your all hyped to go to a party- YOU BET I AM! -Right, but take it from me. Adults make their parties sound 'fun'. But unless it's im Vegas or a red-light district, it's probably all stuffy and boring."
"What's a red-light? And do you mean las Pegasus?" "Moving on- said Dean quickly as he looked to Rarity -Look Rarity, your your own mare and what you do with your personal life is your own businesses. But just...be careful. I've meet a lot of good girls like you who just wanted their 'prince charming' to sweep them to off their feet to a 'happily ever after'. But a lot of the time they just end up alone, knocked up and working 2 shifts to make ends meet at a dead end job."
"How vulgar! I don't know how things worked back on your homeworld Mr. Winchester, but here is a land of wonder and opportunity for any mare who simply seizes the day!" Insists Rarity boldly.
Sam steps up, "Look just...be careful, alright Rarity? A lot of times even 'sweet' guys can be just nasty to girls when given the chance."
"I appreciate your concern, but I can handle myself." Said a clearly annoyed Rarity flatly.
Dean shakes his head at this but moves on, "Fluttershy...why do you have to go to the garden during the Galla? Why not just go to Canterlot now and just go there?"
"Oh, well. You see, it's only open to the public during the Gala-
"Why don't you just ask Celestia to let you in? I mean you did just save her sister AND the entire nation." Pointed out Sam.
Fluttershy's eye's widen, "Oh...yes...I guess I could do that..." Admitted Fluttershy slowly in realization.
"Actually, while were on the subject. Applejack if you and your family are so desperate for money, why not just ask Celestia for some money? Again, after saving Equestria and her SISTER, she'd probably be more then happy to give it to you." Asked Dean.
Applejack bristled, "I ain't asking for a handout!" "Fine, don't call it a 'handout' then. Call it 'overdue payment' for saving Equestria and a princess then." Stated Dean clearly getting irritated.
Applejack frowned uncomfortable, "But, I don't want payment for that. It was the right thing to do- "Applejack, did you or did you not say your family needs money? More importantly, did you not just say that your granny needs a new hip?" Stated Dean flatly.
Applejack blanched, "Well, yes. but- "Oh, I see. So as long as your pride is intact, your family can go to hell. Is that it?" All the ponies gasp in horror.
"Mr. Winchester! How could you say something so horrible!?" Gasped Twilight in horror. "Hey, she's the one refusing to help her family, refusing even to get a payment for something she more then earned! All because she 'won't accept a handout'. Seriously, what's more important to you? Your pride or your family?"
"Uh, hey Dean? Don't we need to head to the mail office to get that spell ingredient?" Said Sam quickly, seeing the ponies get more and more distraught...and weepy.
Dean quickly acquiesced with a snort and left a rather flummoxed and on the verge of crying Applejack to her thoughts...
Twilight would promptly ask Celestia for more tickets...and after a moments pause...would also ask tickets for the Winchester brothers as well.
"I'm sure they'll warm up to us...eventually..."
...
However...
...
"I don't need help!" Snapped Applejack. Twilight didn't know what to do, she was worried after what happened to Rainbow Dash because of Applejack's exhaustion, but if she didn't want help what more could she-
"Oh, for the love of- Okay, all you chickens clear the runway. I'll be the bad guy." Said an annoyed Dean as he marched forward and pushed Twilight out of the way and used his newly learned magic to grab Applejack and lift her up.
"Whoa, what? What are you-
CRACK!
Rainbow-
CRACK!
-was-
CRACK!
-hurt-
CRACK!
-because-
CRACK!
-of-
CRACK!
-You!
CRACK!
Twilight and the rest of her friends just stood in stunned horror as Dean spanked a now Sobbing Applejack...
...
Sam looks through the telescope amazed, "It's nuts, Dean! Luna really dose manipulate the stars. You gotta check out these crazy new constellations!" He said impressed. Dean rolled his eyes, but admittedly curious he goes to look through the telescope-
Just in time to see a Griffon attempt to pop Pinkies balloon and send her falling to her death! "SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT!" Screamed Dean as he quickly grabbed a sniper rifle-
And the day kind of just downward spiraled from there...
...
"Gah! Listen to that Trixie brag! It's so annoying!" Exclaimed Rarity annoyed. "Gee, I'm sorry Rarity. I didn't realize your legs were broken." Snarked an annoyed Dean.
Rarity looked at him confused, "Uh...there not." She stated flatly. "Oh, so instead of LEAVING the area you claim to hate so much, your just standing around and bitching for the sake of being a bitch. Gotcha." Said Dean sardonically.
"Why, I never!" Huffed Rarity indignant. "Never tried not being a drama queen? You got that right." Responded Dean. While Rarity began to sputter, Applejack stepped up.
"Come on you can't tell me you like her bragging either! Also, you here too!"
Dean glared. "Okay, first of all SHE'S A PERFORMER! She's supposed to brag and be flashy! Don't you know what 'self-promotion' and 'advertisement' mean? Second, I'm here waiting for Sam! What's your excuse!? Third, Twilight if you want to have a secret conversation that you don't want your friends to hear, don't have it five feet away in broad daylight in your normal voice!" Twilight 'epped' in surprise. "Fourth, dang it Twilight! These girls followed you to fight Nightmare Moon! Give them enough credit that they won't stop being friends with you over every little thing! Fifth, and if they DO. Then your 'friendship' is shit and you best just end it and get it over with!"
Everypony in the entire center of town gasped at Dean in horror at that last bit. Dean looked around confused, "What?"
...
Horrified By Dean's blatant disregard for the wonders of friendship, Twilight decided maybe it would help them bond if she included the brothers on their next friendship mission...
...
"BWAH! WAH! WAH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU MEANIES!?" Screamed the brutally mangled and burnt dragon.
"There, there. The big bad Winchesters won't hurt you anymore." Reassured Fluttershy as she bandaged him, her dragon phobia now completely gone. It was hard to be afraid of something when it had been so brutally beaten up and currently sobbing like a baby...she was however starting to fear the Winchesters a bit...
...
Zecora sighed as she entered town, once again no one was there to greet her-
"OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!"
Zecora had seen many crazy things; both in her homeland and in the Everfree...but NOTHING as bizarre as the sight of two older stallions forcibly dragging/twisting the ears of 5 teen mares(Twilight followed behind them both bewildered and curious) toward her while they cried out in pain.
"Hello there - Zecora, is it? I'm Dean and this is my Brother Sam. We and these girls are here to introduce ourselves and get to know you like sane, rational ponies. Instead of hiding and fearmongering like bigoted morons- turns to glare at Pinkie as he gives her ear another meaningful twist -and if Pinkie so much as utters anything rhyming with the words 'Weevil enchant us' I'll personally whack her plot from dawn to dusk! Which I might just talk Luna and Celestia into doubling!"
"Okay, okay! I'm sorry!" Whined Pinkie with a sob...
Zecora just tilted her head confused...before turning to the one mare who wasn't being forcibly dragged to her. "Do forgive me if I sound informal- she points to the sobbing mares -but is this normal?"
Twilight hung her head with a sigh, "No, but that might be a good thing in this case." She admitted reluctantly...
...
Loathe as Twilight was to admit it...the Winchesters did make some good points...and although their tendency for more 'violent' solutions was very disconcerting...Twilight couldn't deny that in some cases it caused problems- that would've usually took her and her friends at least thirty minutes or so- to be solved in 5 minutes or even LESS!
They wrapped up the parasprite 'issue' before it even became a problem! Apparently they'd been reading all they could on the wild beasts of Equestria so were immediately able to point out what a Parasprite was and got ride of it immediately. Saving them a great deal of aggravation and trouble by the look of it.
Although, Pinkie seemed annoyed about gathering all those instruments for nothing...whatever that meant...
Twilight began to wonder if things might just be okay...
...
So of course...
...
"Screw that! I'm freaking cold! I'm not going to stop heating the area around me with my magic just because of some dumbass tradition!" Shouted an annoyed Dean to an exasperated Applejack.
Twilight hoof-palmed as that statement of course set off the ire of every Earth Pony in town.
"Wait, so explain something to me." Said Sam as he trotted up. "If magic is banned during Winter wrap-up. Then why are the pegasus still allowed to use their magic to fly and control the weather? Also, don't you earth ponies use magic to make yourself strong enough to do all the labor and make the food grow faster?" asked Sam confused.
There was a long pause...
"Wait, he's right...that DOSE seem unfair..." Said Twilight out loud thoughtfully.
"Hey! He's right! Why are we the only one's excluded?" Snapped Lyra annoyed.
"Your telling me I've been getting frostbite all these years for NOTHING!?" Exclaimed Bluenote as he throws off his winter wrap-up vest enraged.
"YEAH! Why should we limit ourselves just to satisfy your stupid tradition!?" Shouts Cinnamon Chai as she and all the other unicorns start to gather together in a bickering horde as they too tear off their vests.
"STUPID!?" Shouted all the earth Ponies irritated as they march up to face them...
"Oh, boy. Here we go." Said Rainbow Dash nervously...and quickly prompts the other Pegasus to call it a day...and hover away from the conflict whistling innocently...
"Huh, is it me or did it just get colder?" Asked Dean confused.
Twilight's eye's widen as the freak snowstorm intensify's as the ponies squabble escalates. "Uh, oh..."
...
Fortunately, the return of the Wendigo's was thwarted by the Winchesters...
Winter Wrap-up was postponed indefinitely however...as was Spring...
...
Twilight although saddened/terrified by the return of the Wendigo shattering the peace and the loss of a chance of participating in a Ponyville holiday...she couldn't deny that Sam's objections had merit...and she'd be lying if she weren't impressed to see a seemingly unstoppable creature of legend be defeated by two ponies... WITHOUT the magic of Friendship no less...!
In any case, Twilight decided to take a respite before trying to reach out to the brothers again. Pinkie said something about a Cute-ceañera this week? That should be fun!
...
"Or not..." Thinks a despondent Twilight as she watches Dean scream in rage at Applejack for being so self-absorbed that she didn't notice her little sister was trying to leave Diamond Tiara's Cute-ceañera, and in fact actually PUSHED her back inside!
And that wasn't even the worst thing that would happen that day!
"Hey! little, Pink Bitch! I think I know why your a bitch!" Shouted a furious Dean seeing Diamond Tiara making Applebloom cry.
All the other ponies gasped at this, while Diamond just look startled...no adult had EVER called her out...especially with such hurtful words!
"I've seen prissy brats like you! Your not special! Your a dime a dozen! Let me tell you something bitch! You maybe cock of the walk now. But after your bodies withered away and every stallion from here to Timbucktu has plowed into you you'll be a shriveled up hag rotting in some alley somewhere!"
Diamond's lips begin to quiver...
"Frack cutiemarks! At least Applebloom has people who care about her! What about you? I don't see your parents here. What? Were they too busy at the country club for their 'darling's' special day? And you- points to a frightened Silver Spoon who whimpered 'me?' While pointing to herself- Are you REALLY friends with HER? Or her MONEY? Don't lie! This amulet of truth will let us all know!" He Pulls out a bunch of random shit from his wallet to bluff-
CRASH!
-which Silver Spoon completely bought as she jumped out the nearest window. Diamond's heart sank seeing her only 'friend' abandon her, and Dean wasn't done yet...
"If you died tomorrow, would anyone care? If you tripped and broke your stupid neck, Would anyone weep? NO! I bet all the booze in the world that they'd all sing 'Ding, Dong the Pink Bitch is dead! HALLELUJAH, HOLY SHIT!'"
Diamond Tiara broke down sobbing and ran from the building while everypony just gaped in horror, Pinkie whispered to Mrs. Cake from the corner of her mouth. "Just...cover up the desserts...this party's over." She said in sad resignation as her mane deflated.
And yet... it STILL wasn't over yet...
"Mr. Winchester! You shouldn't have done that!" Exclaimed Applejack horrified. "Your right, I shouldn't have. YOU SHOULD HAVE!" Exclaimed Dean annoyed. This threw Applejack, "what?"
"You heard me! Where were you when your little sister was being picked on and treated like crap!? Why didn't you try to defend her?!"
Applejack blanched and tried to regain her composure. "Wha- She- I didn't want to be a bully- "BULLY!? DEFENDING YOUR LITTLE SISTER MAKES YOU A BULLY!? SO IT'S OKAY IF EVERYONE MAKES YOUR SIBLING FEEL LIKE CRAP AS LONG AS 'YOU' FEEL GOOD!? IS THAT IT!?
Applejack was sobbing now, "No, that ain't-
"You should be glad your parents are dead, if they saw how lousy of a sister you are. They'd probably die AGAIN of shame."
...to this day, everyone who witness that argument could SWEAR they heard Applejack's heart shattering after that last bit...
"Okay! Were done here! Thanks for inviting us Pinkie! Sorry for everything! Sheesh, I can't go to the restroom 5 minutes with you around." Sam grumbles that last bit as he quickly pushes Dean outside to leave...
...
Applejack sulked for a week, even skipping the 'Running of the leaves' and forfeiting the Iron pony contest without a fight much to Rainbow Dash's concern...
For awhile Twilight and the others simply gave the Winchesters space...and went back to their simple lives of hilarious hi-jinks and friendship lessons. Rarity's fashion show, the insanity of Pinkie's 'Pinkie sense', the Young Flyers Competition, the school talent show. After the grim atmosphere the Winchesters presented, it was nice to get back to something silly and whimsical.
Still...Twilight did try to invite the Winchesters to all these...Sam occasionally showed interest...but Dean would have none of it...
...
When Rarity was kidnapped by the diamond dogs...the others wanted to just go after them, themselves...But Twilight(with great reluctance) insisted they call on the Winchesters. Horrible as their methods were...they got results. And with Rarity's life on the line...how could they do less?
...
"Nice work Sam! Using that spell made the mustard gas non-lethal to ponies!" Said Dean as he stepped over the corpse of yet another Diamond Dog. After they'd started throwing down the mustard gas containers down the holes...it didn't take long for every dog in the entire catacomb to start writhing and dying in agony...blood seeping from every orifice as their lungs crumbled...
When they found Rarity...she was hunched up in the corner, shivering, rocking back and forth and sobbing hysterically...her room filled with gems...and dead dogs...
The brothers said nothing...they wrapped her up in blanket, gave her a EXTRA large Diamond to cuddle...then grabbed as much gems as she asked for(about several tons)...and then took her home...
Rarity wouldn't leave her bed...at least until Photo Finish came to town...
...
"Zis...Zis iz what you give me!?" Shouted Photo Finish outloud. Rarity simply stood resolute...all the clothes she had Fluttershy wear...were dark, bleak, depressing and in some cases downright traumatic..but it matched her mood...if that meant a blacklist from Photo finish, so be it! This was how she processed things!
"Zis is wonderful!" Exclaimed the shutterbug. "Say what now?" Asked Rarity startled/baffled.
"It's so NEW! BOLD! AND ORIGINAL! We People in ze fashion world don't like to admit it, but Equestria fashion has more or less stagnated! Itz all more of the same! Happy! Lovely! Colorful! Friendship is magic! NEVER HAS EQUESTRIA SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS!"
She points to both Rarity and Fluttershy- YOU WILL BOTH BE MY NEW SEAMSTRESS AND MODEL!"
Fluttershy blanched, "Me? But I- "WE'LL DO IT!" Exclaimed Rarity feverishly.
...
...long story short...Dean ended up spanking a sobbing Pinkie Pie for hours for 'putting your stupid promises over the happiness and well being of her friends'...he then goes to yell at Rarity and Fluttershy to 'stop being passive-aggressive sit-com bitches and just TALK your problems out!'
...
Although Twilight respected Applejack's wish of not inviting the brothers to Appelosha...she was shocked to find Applejack take a more...'proactive' approach to the Appleoshian/Buffalo conflict.
Applejack took the sheriff outfit from the now badly beaten Sheriff Silverstar, "Right, I'm in charge for this crisis! And were doing things my way! Now were gonna talk with those Buffalo! Ain't gonna be no fighting until I say otherwise!"
No one dared disagree...
Even more shocking, after the Buffalo negotiation broke down due to them refusing to run anywhere else save for their sacred stampeding ground...Applejack had Spike send a letter to Applebloom!
Her response to the problem...with a little help from Twilight...was interesting...they made the Buffalo stay inside a mystic shield. It wouldn't allow them to leave until they saw it was NOT their running that moved earth and sky...but rather Celestia and Luna.
Many of the younger generation was already free...although they looked very despondent from the breaking of their cultural beliefs...
Twilight, concerned. Asked the others about this shift in her personality.
Rarity sighed, "Oh, she's been like this since she caught her cousin bullying her sister...AND MINE!" She hisses that last bit.
"Wait, what?!" Exclaimed Twilight in disbelief.
"Yeah, Applejack's apparently been finishing her chores more early lately. So one day after doing so, she went to check on the Crusaders just in time to see Diamond Tiara trespass and convince Babs to wreck the Crusaders float! It was horrible! Thankfully, Applejack went on the warpath! She spanked Babs for an hour and practically kicked her back to Manehattan! Then she called up Filthy Rich, told her what his daughter did and THREATENED to cut off all their business deals and SUE them for HARASSMENT and TRESPASSING if Diamond didn't stay away from the Crusaders from now on! It was awesome!" Exclaimed Rainbow excited.
Twilight...didn't really know what to make of it...she suspected the Winchesters influence...but she'd ask Applejack about it later when things had calmed down...
...
"Yep, it's a phoenix." Said a royally pissed off Dean as he looks over a very 'ill' and plucked bird.
"Wha- What dose that mean?" Asked a Sobbing Fluttershy
"It means that a certain white mare is about to get a hoof where the sun don't shine!"
...later, on the other side of town...
"How goes teaching the Winchesters the magic of Friendship, my loyal student?" Asked Celestia with a smile.
Twilight...forced a nervous grin...She knew she had to choose her words carefully so it wasn't TECHNICALLY a lie. "Uh...well...There were some ups and downs...still a bit rough around the edges...but I'm confident were about to make a REAL breakthrough!"
CRACK!
She was then treated to the sight of her mentor getting knocked unconscious with a 2x4 wooden plank, "YOUR OBI-WAN KENOBI BS MADE FLUTTERSHY CRY YOU BITCH!" Screamed Dean Winchester.
Twilight's gaped in horror as her eye twitched while everyone began to panic...
...
SOMEHOW...they got out of that without anyone being kicked to the moon...also...Twilight found herself...sorta agreeing with the Winchesters...making Fluttershy cry was a bit of a...'dick' move...
Anyway, thankfully such a grim affair was overshadowed by the joyus news that all their cutiemarks were connected to one glorious event! Clearly a time of celebration!
...Or it was until the crusaders made the mistake of asking Dean how he got his cutiemark...and thus found themselves learning some interesting new 'words'...among other things...
...
GLOW!
YAY! MOTHER-BUCKING CUTIEMARK CRUSADERS! EAT ON THAT BITCHES!
Shouted Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scotaloo as they got their 'Breaking Bad', Prostitution, and cursing Cutie marks respectively...
Twilight just gaped in horror...
Rarity was catatonic and foaming at the mouth...
Applejack was sobbing hysterically and apologizing to her parents/the heavens for not raising Applebloom right...
Rainbow was confused...
Fluttershy just went VERY red...
Pinkie was laughing like a maniac...
Sam was angrily berating Dean...
Dean was sharing his booze with the girls...
...
"I'm just saying Twilight...basically...in a weird way, your his mom. He likes making you happy. And from his perspective, you wanted to replace him with someone 'better'." Explained Sam as delicately as possible to an almost in tears Twilight...
"But...I just wanted to give him a break! He's been working SO hard for me, doing such a great job!...Never getting any real rest!" She stated in a pleading and confused voice.
"Yeah...Did you actually...say that to him? Explain that to him? Using those EXACT words to Spike?" Asked Dean flatly. "Who?" Asked Owlicious. "Don't start with me hooty." Said Dean annoyed.
Twilight sniffed and looked over to the ICU where Spike was recuperating from the beating the other, bigger dragon had given him...
...
Twilight...had been better...but thankfully it was time for Pinkie Pie's surprise party! What better way to lift everyone's spirits- and get their minds off the crusaders being arrested for the fifth time this week for lewd behavior- then a wonderful party for them all to enjoy together.
"Okay, we find her raving like a madmare and talking to inanimate objects...where's the nearest psychiatrist and nut house?" Shouts Dean as he bursts in carrying a now very gray and depressed Pinkie Pie.
Twilight sighed, "Well, this party ended quickly." She said flatly. "And what's a nut house?..or psychiatrist?"
The brothers looked at her stunned for a moment, "Huh...that actually explains a lot." Said a thoughtful Sam outloud.
...(present)...
Twilight sighed at all these flashbacks went through her head as she helped ponies up from the aborted heart song attempt. Sam...seemed to like them well enough. But Dean...he only ever seemed to get involved to yell at them, insult them...or hurt someone. The rest of the time he spent either by himself, working on his 'car', or researching a way to be sent home...
She had no problem with him wanting to go home, it was his 'home' and he had every right to want to get back there. Twilight and the royal sisters helped with that where they could...
But why couldn't he enjoy himself here in the meantime? Make FRIENDS? Twilight decided to it was time to just up-front ask him these questions...
She went to gather her friends...
Same time tomorrow Button!?" Squeaks Sweetie Bell happily as a very flustered and Happy Button Mash gives her a large bag of bits and trots off with his head held high...
Trying VERY hard not to notice this or the VERY long line of young colts going up to Sweetiebell's...'parlor'...Twilight enters Rarity's boutique...
...
Dean Winchester silently hummed to himself as he tweaked 'babies' carburetor. Since coming here, him and Same had done some serious modifications to this bad girl...
Greater runes, greater mystic seals, greater mystic barriers. Magic was just came so much easier here then home. Beast of all, no demon pacts required...
Of course Sam was the one doing all the mystic upgrades, although Dean saw the perks. He preferred not to get too reliant on that- they had no idea of all this would still work when they got home after all. In any case, he'd rather have a man-made tool in his hand over some mumbo-jumbo any day of the week. At first, this semi-pre-industrial-ish world made such mundane upgrades to seem Baby impossible...then he bumped into a strange stallion named Dr. Whooves...and after much bargaining(He'd never look at an angel statue the same way again!). He got some pretty niffty gadgets to sup up the Impala with...it was starting to feel like Jame's Bond's car at this point!
"Mr. Winchester?"
Dean sighed, "What is it now Twilight?" He asks as he turns around in time to see Twilight and her friends enter the room.
Twilight looks to him intently. "Mr. Winchseter...you've been here awhile now and although I can certainly respect your desire to go home...but...why are you always keeping yourself locked up in here? Why can't you enjoy yourself here? Enjoy the wonder that is our world? The magic that is friendship?" Asked Twilight confused.
Dean sighed, "...You really want to know why?"
Seeing Twilight nod, Dean takes a deep breath. He then brings out a magical object that Sam 'acquired' recently, it was a pensive and it was used to show memories.
He used it to show an image of...when he was a little kid...
"When I was little...a DEMON entered my home...he murdered my mom." The Ponies gasped in horror at the sigh of Deans mom being forced onto the ceiling by a yellow eyed man and set aflame...their home burning to the ground while a young Dean and infant Sam are grabbed by their father to flee...
"My dad...became obsessed with killing this bastard...and so did I...for years we hunted for him...and during that time we became HUNTERS. People who hunts monsters, ghost and demons to protect people."
The pensive became awash in visions...horrible...terrible monsters...killing...ripping...EATING people...
"PLEASE! NO MORE!" Pleaded a now sobbing Fluttershy. Dean immediately shut it down...the girls were shivering, terrified...everything about what they saw...their pony/prey instincts were demanding they flee in terror...theses monsters were predators the like of which they had never known!
Dean briefly considered mentioning Sam's fiance or his dad disappearing...but no, they were clearly scared enough...
And that's why I'm focusing so much on this. So many people are depending on us to keep them safe. To stop that bastard and make sure no other family has to suffer through this..."
"Why? Why go back there!?" Pleaded a very terrified Twilight. She thought she was fairly brave after taking on Nightmare Moon...but she was a pushover compared to what she just saw! "why not stay here with us and be happy and safe!?" She pleaded most heartily, despite Dean's abrasive attitude she'd come to care for both him and his brother!
"Because it's the right thing to do." Said Dean flatly. He turned his back to them. "Look...Sam has some new leads that look VERY promising...we might be leaving soon...what you have here...this world...it may give me diabetes just looking at it, but that doesn't make it any less of a PARADISE...you have a good life here girls, a life me and my brother could only DREAM of...so just...forget about us okay? When we leave here...just...live life, you hear me? Just...live a long, happy life..."
Dean turned his back to them and went back to work after that...he kept busy...LOOOONG after the subdued sound of hoof trotting had indicated they'd left...and the sound of tears had died out...
...III…...
TO BE CONTINUED?
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Holy fuck yes moar
I got loads of good laughs from the misadventures Sam and Dean in this chapter and look forward to even more craziness.
Shouldn't Sam be the unicorn and Dean the earth pony?
10267961
Sam is an Earth pony because I've always felt he's the more 'down to earth' of the two, and Dean is a unicorn...because I knew that would annoy him more...
Bonus points for the episode with Gilda. Everyone usually has Gilda dealt with after she bullies Fluttershy. This is the first time I've seen her get her comeuppance while she's mistreating Pinkie.
3
You kinky son of a bitch
Dean you fucken mad lad
Castiel: ....
Crowley: I'm so proud
...don't fuck with Dean Winchester
Please for the love that is all holy make more. Please!
More please this is hilarious