• Member Since 29th Mar, 2018
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

The Cowardly Christian

For everyone seeking guidance, I recommend looking up Ravi Zacharias, he's gotten me out of some dark times. His FULL sermons are available online for ALL...


A young colt lives in the Everfree forest. Naturally the Mane six want to save him and get him back to his designated mare!...but what if he didn't need saving? The mane 6 are in for a nasty surprise! STICK IT TO THE MARE!

Twilight/Dipper, Wendy/Tyrone, Alchor/Pacifica

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 86 )

Wait... Gravity Falls?!?!

Now THIS is interesting.

This is so cool, MORE!!!!

Not bad. I was just curious if you planned on reverse gender rolling this? It could easily fit.

The Monk
"Knowledge is power and power corrupts, so study and be evil." - Reykan

...I wasn't planning on it, no...why do you ask?

it seems... promising...

Very interesting. Keep up the good work.

While the premise is interesting... I'm not sure I'd continue reading if the rapid fire pacing stays the same.

yeah i kinda feel the same way. add on top of that we have only been introduced to the characters from the show and not this little colt in the woods we know nothing about what he is doing or why he is doing it, what are his motivations and barely anything about what he is like other then someone who starts with extreme measures for problems he already knows will be solved. either way currently not a character i want to root for.
i think the next chapter or two will make or break this story for me.

Well I agree with both of their points I don’t see any right or reason he is doing what he’s doing at least not the way he’s doing it it’s kind a hard to understand his motivation

to be fair, it's only the first chapter...

Joking aside, what wrong with it? I'm open to constructive criticism.

Since you asked nicely:

Well, it seems a bit fastpaced.

How did a colt design his dream catcher?
Where did he get the collar?
Better yet, did he make it?

But they'd been her for hours...and nothing...kind of a letdown really...

typo (actually its the only typo I found)

Watching from afar...Dipper was annoyed by the dismissal...except for the purple one...she was the only one who didn't seem completely sold on a Mare being behind him...

How can Dipper here the conversation from his 'home'? You never told us where Celestia is located, or how far his home is from the castle.

We know next to nothing of Dipper and how he got here. which leaves the reader at a loss.
An unknown main character does a bunch of stuff.
It seems that the story makes him out to be overpowered.
You are using too many ellipses.

All of these points just leaves a bad taste in my mouth to the point that I don't want to read any more of it.
P.S. this is not meant to be mean:pinkiehappy:

These points are all explained in future chapters, basically how he got there is a bit of a mystery...that twilight will have to solve as time goes on...

Dipper is also a protege academic who's constantly tinkering and experimenting...

Also, he wasn't 'home' he was in a pre-selected hiding point to monitor the aftermath...he'll go home later when the coast is clear...

Again, his 'home' is meant to be a mystery until later...

Celestia....she was waiting for Luna to be defeated by Twilight and her friends...only to be confused when her plan to free her sister and awaken the elements sorta fell through...

...I guess I just assumed those last three points were self-explanatory and obvious so I didn't elaborate...my bad...

But good input, I'll keep that in mind...

is there more soon?

Sorry, I've been busy doing a lot commissions for a lot of PAYING patrons...so who knows?

Really interesting so far. Hope to see more!

And this fic was going so well, too

If you or a friend want to continue this yourself, you have my permission.

Discovered this fic and bookmarked it cause it sounds interesting. :rainbowwild: but I can't start it knowing there's only 1 chapter so far.
But your not gonna continue? :raritycry:
I understand though. Time is money after all.:coolphoto:
Now to decide if ima read it or not... :applecry:

I'd be willing to give it to you or any friends of yours if you'd like...

Of course...if you want to pay me to continue this...that's an option too...

Nah, I can't even get the three stories I've had in my brain written down. :applejackconfused:
Whats the going price for such? :trixieshiftright:
And what was the end goal idea? (Kinda pointless to setup for 7 chapters when you only planned for 5, or 10. :twilightsheepish:

On that note, if anyone wants to jump in and help fund Dipper's adventure, let me know! :raritystarry:




Uh...maybe a couple of chapter?(it doesn't end there, that's just as far as I've planned).

Sounds good. Does this mean I can throw in a cameo for an OC? :trollestia:

eh....that depends on what you have in mind...

Honestly nothing. :twilightblush: I have no idea how it would fit, be a simple show up n leave, or what have you. :twilightblush: Wasn't looking for like story, just a background cameo was my thought. Never really commissioned a story before.:derpyderp1:
Anywho, how's this work? :derpytongue2:

...I guess that's fine.

Keep in mind, I have several other commissions I'm working on, so it'll be awhile if we do this.

Righto. Just remind me when its time. :twilightsmile:

Just to be clear you'll need to become a patron on my patron account for me to get the money...

Here's the address https://www.patreon.com/TheCowardlyChristian?alert=2

Just so you know, regular updates are 10$.

but requests to alter or add stuff to it like an OC cameo is an Extra 5$

And make sure to only give money for only one month...if your not careful it'll send a new payment every month.

The next chapter is ready, just pay me and I'll update it.

Done! Sent and ready. :twilightsmile:

Crazy considering I haven't even read the first chapter. Lol

Sorry, was in the middle of a family thing...

Okay, it's confirmed.

Make sure to double-check to make sure it was a one-time pay-off and not monthly, because that can happen sometimes.

Anyway, I'll update it now.

sorry but it wasent clear if rarity picked up her leg.


:raritycry: yarr, Rarity be a pirate~

That's when from 0 to 100 real quick

that went a little grimdark there...
I hope they will not be permanently disabled... these poor deluded fools
I enjoy your story very much it has a certain "Home alone" style of comedy in the last part xD
Dipper really is ready for everything hehe but if you have been dealing with all the wabberjak of Gravity falls you too would become a little paranoid.

Congratulations on getting published.

As the others said.....
0-100 in no-time.
But the the 'Home Alone' style certainly is tickling my nostalgia bone

What did I read...I love it!

I….I thought this was dead..

it was, then Someone paid me to make another chapter...

Makes sense, should I keep it in my dead folder then?

(shrug) that's up to you...I'm only updating this again if someone pays me...so that's for you to decide...

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