Well...let's hope they can enjoy it next time!

Nice little story.

10151497
Thanks for favoring my story.
It's my first time to write this kind of fic. So I didn't do very well in some how.

10151541
You'll improve! Practice makes perfect after all.

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Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Fun to see Discord getting taken down a notch.
-Major tense slipping, bizarre word choice. Was this run through an automated translator?
-Opens with summary.
-Why is Fluttershy so upset about him reading her porn magazine?
-Makes no sense whatsoever that they'd be married for so long without even talking about sex.
-Everybody's out of character.
-The sex scenes are disjointed and bizarrely motivated.
-(Author’s note: the pronoun “He” is for Discord in the pony body; the pronoun “She” is for Fluttershy in the draconequus body) -- usually, I'd complain about this kind of authorial hand-holding in lieu of just making the story easy to understand in the first place. But in this case, it's helpful.

To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 5/100
Allure: 2/100
Enticement: 25/100
Immersion: 2/100
Prose Quality: 2/100
Total Score: 36/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.

Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!

10254396

-Major tense slipping, bizarre word choice. Was this run through an automated translator?

Not entirely. Maybe it's a very stupid decision for a non-native English speaker to take part in a English writing contest.

-Why is Fluttershy so upset about him reading her porn magazine?

Discord ruined her favourite magazine and had hiden his sexual function to her for a long time. I tried to explain everything in the chapter two, but I admitted some plots were still reasonless.

The sex scenes are disjointed

So it's not a good idea to shift the personal pronoun too frequently? Because I just wanted to show their different feelings respectively.

Very ashamed to the result.