Lin
Joined 11th Feb, 2020 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So much thumbs-down, my heart is broken！
I already have the idea about next chapter, or even more. But I just want to give up after seeing that.
Please don't stop, I see good story potential.
Some people gonna hate, but ignore them. Think about the positive side
10120040
I feel much better now, I won't let you down.
Thanks for the encouragement,
Even I'm feeling bad about this at large and I wrote similar stuff like it...
10120993
You mean I wrote a stereotypical story?
10121183
Not only that, the whole nine yards...
I had finished the final chapter of my this story , for it's ready to ran for a contest.
But just I was about to publish, I found the length had broken the contest rule……
It may take me some time to edit the whole story, maybe some scenes in the previous chapters will be cut.
I don't want to give up the contest, and I also want to share the complete story to all of you.
Well, that was...something
.
Needs some brushing up, but a pretty interesting start
.
Done fucked up now Discord
!!!
Well...let's hope they can enjoy it next time
!
Nice little story
.
10151497
Thanks for favoring my story.
It's my first time to write this kind of fic. So I didn't do very well in some how.
10151541
.
You'll improve! Practice makes perfect after all
This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
You can also check the current ranking, thanks to garatheauthor's unofficial ranking of the scores that have been publicized so far.
------ Review ------
Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Fun to see Discord getting taken down a notch.
-Major tense slipping, bizarre word choice. Was this run through an automated translator?
-Opens with summary.
-Why is Fluttershy so upset about him reading her porn magazine?
-Makes no sense whatsoever that they'd be married for so long without even talking about sex.
-Everybody's out of character.
-The sex scenes are disjointed and bizarrely motivated.
-
(Author’s note: the pronoun “He” is for Discord in the pony body; the pronoun “She” is for Fluttershy in the draconequus body)-- usually, I'd complain about this kind of authorial hand-holding in lieu of just making the story easy to understand in the first place. But in this case, it's helpful.------ Scores ------
To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 5/100
Allure: 2/100
Enticement: 25/100
Immersion: 2/100
Prose Quality: 2/100
Total Score: 36/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.
Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!
10254396
Not entirely. Maybe it's a very stupid decision for a non-native English speaker to take part in a English writing contest.
Discord ruined her favourite magazine and had hiden his sexual function to her for a long time. I tried to explain everything in the chapter two, but I admitted some plots were still reasonless.
So it's not a good idea to shift the personal pronoun too frequently?
Because I just wanted to show their different feelings respectively.
Very ashamed to the result.
