• Member Since 6th Oct, 2018
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

VioletRose13


Just another ordinary Pegasister looking to share her stories with others.

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Source

This story is a sequel to Fairy Tales of Equestria


Fairy tales have been treasured by many and passed down from generation to generation. But these fairy tales are a little different from what you think. Enjoy more of these classic stories with an MLP twist.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 10 )

Love it! Love this Aladdin chapter!

This is cute, I like the casting. It's a really fun idea.

If I could offer a bit of feedback, I would say that it might be worth trying to make sure the tone stays consistent throughout a sentence. For example, in this sentence:

They were best friends, orphans, and dirt poor, but they didn’t care.

It shifts from good to bad so suddenly that it ends up making it sound like they don't care that they're best friends. Whereas splitting it into two distinct thoughts, like for example:

They were orphans, and dirt poor, but they didn't care. The had each other, best friends forever.

gives it a nice contrast that really exemplifies the positive part. It's a little thing, but the kind of thing that can really elevate how your writing reads.

I liked this, though! I feel like it really captured the feeling of being told a fairy tale, that kind of casual shortform that feels like somebody is reciting a story from memory that they've told a thousand times before. It's a fun narrative voice to develop imo.

Hmm, well, this was a fun story. :twilightsmile:

Two guards suddenly came up from behind and held Flashladdin in place. In the confusion, Flashladdin’s lamp was pried from his hooves and he was detained by the remaining castle guard. Neighsay held the tuba up in the moonlight with his magic and gave a cackle of joy.

Okay, one, what tuba? Two, I think you need to stop borrowing lines from Magpiepony. :applejackunsure: You could get in trouble for plagiarism. I know you probably used the Pinkie Tales version for reference and a lot of it was probably still fresh on your mind when you wrote this, but if you want your writing to get better, you will need to learn how to use your own words to express the same ideas as someone else. Sure, you can use a line or two as a reference, but you need to put more of, well, you in your stories.

I will say this though. The part where Neighsay turns into Sombra was creative. So was making Spike Flash's other sidekick instead of the carpet. Those were pretty inspired.

9729506
It's alright. I know you didn't mean to do anything wrong.

So, Shining Armor and the Marey Men managed to pay the queen's ransom? :applejackunsure: Given the ending, I'm assuming that they did, but it wasn't entirely made clear.

9736774
They've been stealing money from the rich and paying fractions of the ransom for quite some time. After all, she did say this.

"As the monarch approached the unicorn before her, the Queen said, “Good Robin, your timely payments have freed us from my captivity overseas. I owe you much for that.”"

9737233
Oh, I see. I was just a little confused by how much time had passed between events. Everything feels like it's moving a little quickly. :twilightsheepish:

9737336
It's okay. And I'm sorry about that.

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