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Robin Armor of Trottingham

Once upon a time in a grand forest called Everwood, there was a stallion who everypony called Robin Armor. Everyone who knew of this stallion, they knew that his target was injustice. Legend has it that Robin Armor was once a wealthy noble pony, but he turned outlaw in order to help the poor and depressed ponies of the land of Trottingham. Robin Armor lived in the Everwood Forest with a band of free ponies who were all dedicated to help the poor survive the cruelty of the rich. The kingdom was in very bad shape. The wise and benevolent queen had been captured overseas and held for ransom. While she was away, the “fat cats” had taken over. So it was up to Robin Armor to help, when nopony else would.

One day, an extravagant and expensive looking carriage was riding through the Everwood Forest when Robin Armor spotted them. He jumped in front of the carriage, refusing to budge.

“Halt! Stand and deliver!” He shouted.

“Here now, peasant.” A grey unicorn stallion said as he stuck his head out the window. “How do you dare to stop me? I am Lord Jet Set.”

“And I am a simple forester,” said Robin, approaching the carriage doors, “who demands you to pay a fair toll for passing on my highway.”

Jet Set exited the carriage and said with a sneer, “We have no time for such foolishness. Kill him. And do press on. It’s nearly nightfall—”

The moment he said that, Robin took out his bow with his magic and shot an arrow at the stallion’s robes the inside of the carriage door. Jet Set stared in disbelief at the pony standing before him.

“Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear.” The stallion scoffed with a smirk. “I am Robin Armor. Now let’s try this again. Why don’t you tell me how much money you’re carrying and we’ll agree to a fair toll. Be honest with me and I’ll be fair with you.”

“We are just a few poor pilgrims, making our way towards the next town,” stammered the stallion, “All of the money we have we carry in this little purse.”

He tossed a small leather bound bag at Robin’s hooves and he picked it up with his magic, inspecting it curiously. He raised an eyebrow at Jet Set.

“Really…” He said. “Well, if you are a poor pilgrim, I’ll double your money. But if you’re lying, you lose everything. Oh, Little Mac!”

A tall earth stallion with a red coat and green eyes suddenly appeared next to one of the guards.

“Search the carriage, will you?” Robin said.

“Right away,” replied Little Mac.

“I’m afraid I can’t allow that!” Jet Set said nervously.

“Did you hear that, fellows?” Robin asked. “He says he can’t allow it. What say you?”

It was then that a few more ponies who were hiding in the forest had raised their bows and aimed their arrows at Jet Set, ready to shoot if he didn’t cooperate. Jet Set froze and turned back to the leader.

“Uh, um… G-G-G-G-Go ahead, search the carriage.” He sputtered, trying to remain calm. “You’ll find nothing in there. I assure you.”

So Little Mac went inside and searched the carriage… only to find a large gilded treasure chest. He took it out and showed it to his friend.

“Nothing, eh my Lord?” Robin asked.

“I found this under the seat.” Little Mac said as he stood beside the grey unicorn.

“I warned you not to lie to me.” Robin said, glaring daggers at Jet Set.

“I… I’ve never seen that before!” Jet Set quickly said. “It must’ve been left there by the ponies who had the carriage before us. I just rented it this morning, truly. Don’t hurt me!”

Robin looked at his Marey Men and said, “Well then… we’ll just take it and make sure it gets back to its rightful owner. And now, I think you’d best be off.”

He pointed his hoof away and the carriage started to drive away, with Jet Set still clinging to it.

“You cannot escape the law forever, Robin Armor!” The unicorn warned. “I’ll tell the Sheriff of Trottingham about this and then he’ll get you!”

When the carriage was out of sight, Robin looked at Little Mac. “Since when did they start decorating carriages with pompous, spoiled ponies like that?”

“Must be a new fashion.” Little Mac joked before opening the chest; it was filled with gold, silver, and all kinds of jewels.

“Little Mac, you have to send one third of this money to help pay the Queen’s ransom.” Robin said.

“Right. The sooner the ransom is paid, the sooner the Queen can return to set things right.” Little Mac added.

“All of you, take a little of this to give to the poor of your villages. I’ll take the rest to give to the poor of Trottingham. We all meet at the camp later tonight.”

Later that same day, Robin snuck into the village of Trottingham to give away the money he had just taken. But he had to be careful, so he went into town dressed as a simpler peddler. Robin Armor had to be a master of disguise because the evil Sheriff of Trottingham was always on the lookout for him. He had to make sure the money he took from the rich went to the poor; when he arrived, the Sheriff was already out and about and taking from the poorer ponies of the village. It was a heartbreaking sight; stallions and mares were begging, foals were crying, and the Sherriff just laughed at their misfortune as if it was all just a big game to him.

“Pots! Who will buy my pots? Lovely pots for sale!” Robin Armor cried out in a disguised voice. An elderly earth pony approached the pot vendor. “Here you are, madam. Why don’t you try this one?”

He offered her one of the bowls; she looked and was surprised to see coins of gold and silver inside. She looked at the stallion in shock.

“How did…?” The mare started.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m Robin Armor. Now go tell those who need it most to sample my pots.” Robin whispered.

“You got it, ya whippersnapper.” The mare said before going off to tell some more ponies of the pot vendor.

Soon enough, Robin’s stand was surrounded by ponies of all kinds. They could hardly believe what they were seeing. Inside almost every pot and bowl were a bit of money and even a few gems. This caused quite a bit of commotion, which quickly caught Sheriff Blueblood’s attention. He and his guards approached.

“A very good day for you, isn’t it peddler?” Blueblood questioned.

“Not bad, my lord. Not bad at all.” Robin said, remaining calm.

“Pardon me, but I don’t believe I’ve seen you here before.”

“Oh, I arrived only today.”

“Is that so? Since you prosper, I’m sure you won’t mind paying my special tax.” Blueblood picked up a pouch of coins with his magic and tossed it to one of his guards.

“Oh really?! I’ve had a very odd day already.” Robin scoffed. “I went through the Everwood Forest on my way over here and I stumbled upon that no good rascal, Robin Armor, and do you know what he did? He stole off my pots!”

Blueblood’s eyes suddenly widened at the mention of Robin Armor; he looked back at the unicorn standing before him.

“Robin Hood?! You’ve been to his camp!?” The Sheriff exclaimed.

“Yes indeed, sir. I’ll never forget it!” Robin replied.

“Could you find your way back there? If I capture Robin Armor, I’ll reward you.”

“I’ll take you and your guards there at once.”

“Oh, no, no, no. I’ll go alone to scout the location so my stallions can return and sniff out the villain himself. Now come, show me.”

Robin smiled. “As you wish, my lord.”

So he led Sheriff Blueblood out of the village and towards the forest. The two ponies walked and walked through the Everwood Forest and Blueblood was growing more and more impatient.

“How much longer, peddler?” He asked as he stopped to sit down.

“Not too far now, my lord.” Robin lied.

“You’ve been saying that for the past hour.”

“But it’ll all be worth it, I assure you.”

“It’d better be worth it. Oh, think of it. When I finally capture Robin Armor, I will be Sheriff for life.” He stood up and smirked at the peddler who turned around to face him. “Unfortunately, I cannot afford to share the glory. No witnesses.”

“Hey, now!” Robin cried in false surprise. “That’s no way to treat someone who just helped you! Is it, Little Mac?”

“Indeed it ain’t.” Little Mac chuckled as he and the rest of the Marey Men came out of the forest. “Downright rude.”

The Marey Men all surrounded the peddler and looked at the Sheriff, who had a look of pure shock on his face. They all had sly smiles.

“The Marey Men? And… and you’re—” He stuttered.

“Robin Armor, at your service, sir.” Robin Armor spat as he removed his disguise.

“No, no, no! Don’t kill me! I beg you, please spare my life!” Blueblood cried as he kneeled before Robin, tears started falling from his face.

Robin rolled his eyes. “Ugh, I can’t stand to see a grown stallion cry. There, there. Now why don’t you hand over that purse and belt of yours?” Without hesitation, Blueblood removed his belt and tossed it to Robin. “Good, good. And how about all those nice clothes? We could use some nice clothes.”

As quickly as he gave up his belt, he started to take off all of his clothes as fast as he could. The Marey Men all watched in amusement as the baffled Sheriff undress.

“Little Mac, do we have anything for the good Sheriff to wear home?” Robin asked.

“With those eyes and that complexion, it might be a toughie.” Little Mac answered. “But I think I have just the thing.”

“Oh, this’ll be good.” Robin smiled.

In the village of Trottingham, the Sheriff was forced to walk around dressed in a mare’s gown with lots of pink, ribbon, lace, ruffles, and frills. It was humiliating and everypony in the village was laughing at him as he walked through the streets. As of now, Blueblood had vowed revenge on Robin Armor.

Many days went by and the Sherriff dared Robin Armor to show his face. And he also knew that he couldn’t resist a proper challenge, as long as he succeeded in the end of course. So he held a large archery competition, knowing Robin wouldn’t be able to resist showing up to win it. He again wore a disguise, this time as a humble farmer. The other archers who competed were very good, but Robin was better than anypony else and was in the lead. Robin Armor’s beloved, the beautiful Maid Cadance, was able to see through all of his clever disguises.

With a smile, she approached her love. “Your aim is true, good farmer.”

“Oh? Well, I’m no Robin Armor.” Robin said in a different voice; he bowed before her. “But thank you very much, fair lady.”

“You’d be better off if you were no Robin Hood.”

“Oh, but of course.”

When no one was looking, Cadance brought her voice to a whisper. “Oh, Robin, my sweet. Can’t you see that this is a trap?”

“Relax, my darling.” Robin whispered back. “Half of the many archers here are very ‘merry’ men, if you get my meaning. Besides, who could turn down a challenge like this?” He winked.

And at that moment, the two ponies shared a small kiss.

“Attention!” Sheriff Blueblood announced. “The time has come for the final round of our little competition. There are only two contestants left; our very own Spearhead of the Royal Guard…” He proudly smiled and applauded, but no pony else clapped as enthusiastically as he did. “…and the mysterious farmer from Nowhere Shades.” He rolled his eyes.

The crowd applauded and cheered like mad at the mention of Robin’s alias.

“This is the final target,” said the Sheriff as he gestured towards the target behind him, “May the best one’s arrow fly true.”

After a moment of silence, the guard aimed his arrow and hit a bull’s-eye, everypony cheered.

Robin turned his head to the Sheriff and said, “I beg your pardon, but this Spearhead is a wonderful archer, sir. What do you say we call it a draw? I wouldn’t want to embarrass anypony.”

“Oh, there will be no draws. There will be a winner…” Blueblood taunted. “…unless, of course, your arrow lands exactly as close as Spearhead’s.”

“If you say so, my lord.” Robin said, taking out another arrow.

He aimed his arrow, shot it, and… it split Spearhead’s arrow in half! Everyone applauded and cheered at Robin’s magnificent shot.

“I guess it’s a tie! Let’s hear it for Spearhead!” Robin announced as his Marey Men surrounded Spearhead and congratulated him.

“Step forward, good farmer.” Blueblood said as Robin walked towards him. He unsheathed his sword, glaring darkly at Robin. “You receive your reward.”

“Robin, look out!” Cadance yelled in terror.

“That’s no way to reward the winners!” Robin cried as he ran out of the way just in time.

“We’re out numbered!” He cried to his Marey Men, “Back to the forest!”

As Maid Cadance was about to follow her beloved and the others into the Everwood, the Sheriff and another group of guards restrained her.

“I think you’ll have to stay with me, milady.” Blueblood said smugly.

“No! Robin!” She cried.

“Cadance! I’m coming!” Robin exclaimed, stopping to look back at his love.

But Little Mac quickly stopped him. “Not now, Robin!”

He took Robin by the hoof and led him back to the forest with the others. Robin felt so guilty for leaving Cadance behind; he lay by the fire.

“Don’t worry, Robin. We’ll figure something out, I know we will.” Little Mac said, trying to comfort his friend.

“If only I’d taken her with us, I should’ve.” Robin said. “If only I knew she was alright, if I had some kind of sign.”

An arrow was immediately shot out of nowhere and it nearly hit Robin in the head. Little Mac saw that there was a message from the Sheriff tied to it.

“What does it say?” Robin asked.

“It’s ridiculous.” Mac said as he put the note down; his brow was furrowed. “He wants you to give yourself up in exchange for Maid Cadance’s freedom.”

“I’ll do it!” Robin said, standing up and running onto the forest path.

“Robin, no! He’ll kill you!”

“I have a better chance of escape than poor Cadance. I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to Trottingham whether you or the others like it or not! Don’t try to follow me!”

And as soon as Robin departed for the village, the Marey Men immediately followed after him to Trottingham.

In Trottingham that very afternoon, Sheriff Blueblood was waiting for Robin Armor to show up. Maid Cadance was tied up and standing next to the Sheriff.

“It looks like we may have to hang you after all, milady.” Blueblood chuckled.

“Go ahead then, you coward. I’d expect no less form you.” Cadance spat.

“Sheriff!” Robin Armor said as he approached the gallows. “I accept your offer. My life for the freedom of the lady.”

“Finally, a responsible act from you, Robin Armor.” Blueblood smugly said.

“Robin, you shouldn’t have come!” Cadance exclaimed.

“I couldn’t just leave you here, my love.” They smiled at one another. He turned back to the Sheriff. “Alright, let her go.”

Blueblood paused. “… No.”

“What?” Robin’s eyes widened.

“I said no. I’d rather keep her and hang you both, I can do that, you know.”

“Not if we can help it!” Little Mac shouted.

Blueblood, Robin, and Cadance turned their heads to see the Marey Men led by Little Mac. They arrived just in the nick of time to save their beloved leader. And then, a battle broke out amongst the townsponies and the Royal Guard. Ponies of all kinds threw punches and kicks and even some food at one another; it was chaos. The Sheriff tried to hide himself from the fray, but it was all in vain. Cadance was freed and helped the Marey Men as Robin battled the Sheriff himself.

“Come now, Blueblood. Don’t you want to join the fun?” He taunted as their sword clashed.

Then out of nowhere as the battle raged on, Queen Celestia had strode into the village with a few guards. Everyone stopped what they were doing and quickly kneeled before her.

“I seek the outlaw, Robin Armor!” She announced as Robin stepped forward. “Are you he?”

“I am, Your Majesty.” Robin said as he bowed before the regal Alicorn.

The Sheriff stepped forward. “Your Majesty, I had just captured the villain and was about to hang him for his crimes.” He proudly smiled.

The Queen then said, “Really? In doing so, I would’ve hung you myself.”

As the monarch strode to the unicorn before her, the Queen said, “Good Robin, your timely payments have freed me from my captivity overseas. I owe you much for that.”

“It’s what any loyal subject would do, Your Grace.” Robin said.

“But many did not. I thank you for that, but you’re still an outlaw.”

“Much has happened since you left, Your Highness. And the laws were no longer protecting the people, so I did. I do not regret what I have done.”

“Nor should you, good Robin. Perhaps you would enjoy aiding the poor inside the law? As well as being a suitable husband for my beloved niece, Maid Cadance?”

Cadance stepped forward and planted a kiss on Robin’s cheek.

“Your Majesty, think of me as a member of your family.” Robin said with a smile. He turned to the crowds of ponies behind him. “Did you hear that, everypony? We are no longer outlaws! The Queen has returned.”

Robin Armor and Maid Cadance were married that very night, the Sheriff was immediately banished for his crimes, the Marey Men were new members of the Royal Guard, Trottingham was back to the way it was before, and they all lived happily ever after.