• Member Since 16th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Brony-wan-kenobi


Comments ( 9 )

That was the special tea that Apogee drank before they fucked. It was a special blend that helped prevent her pregnancy while also granting her some additional stamina.

If you got do something stupid, might a well be smart about. I approve.
Also, neat story.

9717832
shhhite, that's hot, but is there a story where she got pregnant?

9717845 I'm ignorant if there is a story like that. You would have to comb though the Delta V and prego groups for that. If not, you could be the first to write it or be the first to do it well.

9717851
Double shite, Birth control porn is very rare to write, be IUD, Potions, or anything to prevent impregnation
Birth control is triple hotness

9717845
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/419246/payload
It exists. It's probably one of the weaker Apogee stories out there, imo.

flaming kirin penises

...is that some kinda metaphor or are these dicks literally on fire? I’m not familiar enough with CTS to know.

In any case, this was a fairly strong showing. Your flow is somewhat mechanical but I like a lot of your similes and your general style is there, which I appreciate. I really wish you’d have toned down the porn dialogue a bit, and let yourself go into some real stream-of-consciousness stuff. This had the distinct feeling of an author holding back because they didn’t want to mess up the rules of grammar. Mechanically perfect English is never as interesting as English where the rules are broken to a certain effect. Obviously you don’t want your work to be unreadable, but going the distance here or there can be really interesting.

In any case, this was an admirable entry. It helps that I like shino’s ocs.

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