Cloudy Skies
A wise pony once said that anything can be beautiful when viewed from a distance, a statement that certainly applied to the Equestrian Wasteland. When one peered down upon it from the clouds, it almost seemed to be a great work of art. Streaks of black curving across a tan canvas, decorated with the occasional spots of color. From the sky, one could even call it peaceful.
Of course, the serenity was broken once one actually came close to the surface itself. What once appeared to be a fine canvas was revealed to be hard, dessicated earth. The strokes of black paint were crumbling roads, the splotches of color the shattered wrecks of vehicles and buildings, left to rot after the fires of the Great War. The work of art fell apart upon closer examination; the nature of the component pieces removing any beauty that could be found in it.
In a way, the landscape reflected those that made their home within it. When it shattered and broke on the Final Day, the ponies of Equestria did as well. Harmony was replaced by Chaos. Kindness with Malice, Generosity with Greed. As the weight of the apocalypse wore down upon ponykind, their treasured values of old began to disappear. Raiders and their ilk rose up, waging a war of terror against those not strong enough to resist them...
Of course, some ponies clung to civilization, though they were an uncommon sight outside of the settlements scattered across the untamed wastes. The occasional caravan was generally the only time you’d see them traveling through the open wasteland, though sometimes you’d see a few travelers. Of course, there were also the ponies in the Stables and the pegasi above the cloud cover. Both held their occupants in isolation against the terrors of the waste, aside from the occasional expeditions to the surface.
For Downdraft, that sense of isolation seemed to continue, even outside of the sky cities. Her steady wingbeats kept her suspended above the rotting visage of Equestria, the light shell of her power armor guarding her body against the cold beneath the cloud cover, her light blue wings being the only exposed part of her body. Even the air she breathed was filtered through a respirator, a necessary precaution given the dangers of the ever present magical radiation.
Survey flights like this had been an exciting prospect at first, she’d been raised on stories of the surface before the war, after all! They’d been taught of the glory of the Princesses, the strength of Equestria, and the loyal dedication of the pegasi of Cloudsdale. Of course, the days of Harmony were long gone, thanks to the Great War. The supposedly immortal Princesses had died like any other pony. Equestria had burned away under the bombardment of balefire bombs. Cloudsdale had been destroyed, their loyalty being rewarded with near complete eradication. The excitement that once awaited below the clouds being drained away as she viewed the Wasteland with her own eyes.
Given her patrol zone, she’d be lucky to even see any ponies, if they could still be called that at least. She’d never actually gotten close to a wastelander, though she’d had the opportunity to view them from a distance on the occasion. The sheer barbarity of what she saw disgusted her, though she couldn’t help but sympathize with the seemingly normal ponies on the surface. She couldn’t help but wonder what it was like down there, but she doubted she’d ever know. It was a miracle that any of them had survived, really. She’d been shocked by the fact that any of them were alive at all when she first came below the cloud cover, though that wore off quickly.
Her musings were interrupted by the crackle of her radio, her ears perking up as soon as she heard the distinctive sound.
“Sergeant, uh, I think I’ve got something to the north?”
She spared a moment to glance to the right, looking over at her new partner, Summer Breeze. Her usual partner, Livewire, was on temporary leave after he injured his wing in a hoofball match, Summer taking his place for the time being. He’d been quiet for most of their flight, taking in the sight of the surface. She couldn’t blame him, really, she’d done the same thing on her first trip below the clouds.
She slowed her flight, cocking her head as she looked at him. “Care to be a bit more specific than that?” He hovered alongside her, his unsure voice distorted by the helmet’s microphone. “I’m hearing some pretty heavy gunfire…”
She cut him off with a sigh, “That’s not too unusual down here, really. Crazy bastards on the ground can’t go five minutes without popping one off.”
“But this is different! It’s sustained firing,” he replied defensively.
She paused for a moment, listening to the sounds around her. While the wind drowned out most of the noise from the surface, it wasn’t uncommon to hear the occasional gunshot. To her chagrin, she realized that Summer was right. The usual background noise of the Wasteland was supplemented with a near constant staccato of gunshots. While it wasn’t unusual, it would probably be good to expose Summer to what exactly they were dealing with down here.
“Good catch, wingpony. We’ll head up that way, check it out.”
Summer answered in the affirmative, clearly nervous, though some cautious curiosity was visible in his overall demeanor. Having decided on a course of action, the two began to continue their flight, gliding towards the sound of gunfire as they did.
“What do you think we’ll find down there?”
“Eh, raiders, most likely. Bunch of crazy groundpounders. You’ll see what I mean, trust me.”
The rest of the flight went on in silence, the two gliding along the winds as they approached the area the gunshots were coming from. The sharp pops came pretty regularly, occasionally picking up in tempo as the conflict below raged on. Downdraft began to slow, Summer following her lead, both flapping their wings to hover in place as they gazed down at the skirmish beneath them.
Downdraft watched with interest, noting the two distinct groups on the ground. Directly beneath them were two shabby-looking wagons, pieced together from scrap and other scavenged materials. Huddled behind those wagons was a rather motley group of ponies. Three appeared to be armed with ballistic weapons, though she didn’t recognize the type. Another lay writhing in the mud, tended to by a light blue unicorn. Off to the side of the wagon, she saw what looked like two bodies, lying still on the ground. Within the wagons themselves, two smaller ponies had taken cover. She took a deep breath, clearing her mind as she turned her attention towards the opposite group. .
As she examined the other group, her lip curled in disgust. They sat atop one of the hills, a disparate group of mangy-looking ponies. While some were clad in what could be charitably called armour, most of them were only covered by their filthy coats. They possessed a wide variety of weapons, the only real commonality between them being a lack of quality. Even without the shouted threats and obscenities, she could have guessed these were raiders.
She tilted her head towards Summer sardonically, allowing a bitter smirk to play across her face as she spoke, “You see why we need to keep the cloud cover, wingpony? It keeps… things like them out.”
Her eyes widened in alarm as she saw the state of the rookie, a pang of guilt running through her as she looked him over. He had frozen up, gazing down at the scene below, his breaths coming out in rapid gasps as he hovered in place. She moved a bit closer, patting his side with a hoof, trying to offer some reassurance. He reached for his mask, standard regulations rushing to the forefront of her mind.
Nopony was supposed to remove their rebreathers in the Wasteland unless specifically given permission to do so. Looking at his shaking form, she couldn’t bring herself to reprimand him, instead slowly reaching up to remove her own. She paused for a moment, allowing the wind to run over her face, tasting the tangy air below the clouds for the first time. Finding it unpleasant, she turned her attention back towards her companion, gazing into his wide green eyes and reaching out to place a comforting hoof on his shoulder. It was difficult to keep her voice gentle as she had to speak over the wind, but she did her best.
“Wingpony… Summer, I need you to calm down. Focus on me, okay?”
He gazed into her eyes intently, clinging to her hoof like it was a liferaft as his breathing slowly came back under control, the panic subsiding over the next thirty seconds or so. He glanced down for a moment, his breathing hitching as he saw a glimpse of another form lying in the mud. His gaze only lingered for a moment before Downdraft gently pulled his face back towards hers. He tried to speak, unable to do anything but stammer for a moment before finally forcing out coherent words. “We could help them.”
Downdraft glanced down once more, surveying the fight as she did. It looked like another one of the merchants had fallen, though they’d taken a good chunk of the raiders out with them. She studied the battlefield for a moment longer, turning her attention back to the rookie. She shrugged as she spoke, doing her best to to keep him focused on her, a wistful note creeping into her voice as she leaned closer. “We could help them, yes. But we won’t.”
His shaking stopped for a moment as his breathing slowed, his eyes clouded with confusion.
“But why not? Isn’t it our job to save ponies?”
She hesitated for a moment, wanting to agree. She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment before speaking, “It’s our job to save Enclave ponies. Not wasteland ones. There’s an important distinction there. Those ponies down there? They aren’t our kind of pony. They’re… different. It’s our job to protect our ponies up there, not these ones down here. If we can’t save everypony, we save the ones that matter to us the most.”
He stared at her for several seconds before slowly separating from her, giving a shaky nod. She cocked her head for a moment before speaking once more, “We should get our rebreathers back on… We can move on if you prefer. We don’t have to stay and watch.”
“I can handle it, sergeant.”
She eyed him cautiously for a moment before offering a short nod, the two of them ensuring their faces were covered once more before turning their attention back to the ongoing fight on the ground.
The merchants had seemingly turned the tide, though yet another body lay in the mud. The gunfire had abated for the most part, though the few remaining raiders continued firing down on the merchants. She noticed that Summer had focused his attention on the unicorn, most likely due to her magic. She’d been shocked the first time she’d encountered it in practice, having never seen anything like it outside of her storybooks. She couldn’t really blame him if he was as well.
For the next two and a half minutes, they watched the fight in silence, Summer letting out a sigh as the last raider fell. Downdraft turned her head to him questioningly, but he just shook his head. She shrugged, peering down at the site of the skirmish, turning towards Summer for a moment before speaking, “I’m guessing you don’t want to get a closer look?”
He shook his head wearily, not meeting her eyes. She shrugged in response, beginning to descend, trying to get a closer view of the battlefield. The blue unicorn was frantically trying to save one of her companions, though given the amount of blood that had already been spilled, Downdraft doubted that she’d be successful. She felt a pang of guilt as she gazed down at the desperate mare, pulling her gaze away after a few seconds. The other survivors of the caravan seemed a rather ragtag bunch, their clothing and equipment varying wildly. She spared a glance towards the hill the raiders had been perched upon, allowing a sense of grim satisfaction to manifest inside of her as she saw several corpses scattered along the ridge.
She did one last glance over the ponies on the ground, preparing to rejoin Summer, when a flash of movement drew her attention back towards the blue unicorn. The unicorn had paused in her ministrations, staring at an object in the mud, before scrambling to retrieve it with her magic. Even covered in mud, the pegasus could recognize it. An Enclave healing potion, stored in a silvery thermos. Her gaze shot up towards Summer, who was shakily closing his pack as he stared down at the unicorn.
She took a moment to glance down towards the mare, watching her empty the thermos into the wounded pony’s mouth. The reprimand on her lips froze as she watched the unicorn help the wounded pony to his hooves before glancing up at Summer.
Downdraft closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She counted to ten, her teeth grinding as she intently looked away from Summer as he fumbled through an attempt to close his bag once more. As she finally finished counting, she turned towards Summer once more, a few flaps of her wings bringing her up to his level. “This should be enough for today, wingpony. Time to head back to home base.”
He gave a shaky nod, moving into position beside her as they soared through the sky, their black armour serving to camouflage them against the dark grey of the cloud cover. They arrived back without incident, though she could tell that Summer was nervous throughout the flight, occasionally glancing over to her, his head snapping forwards once more whenever she responded.
They soon ascended through the cloud cover, finally setting down in their home city of Tempestus once more. The small landing area they found themselves at was sparsely populated, only a few soldiers being out and about. Both removed their masks, taking a deep breath of the fresh air above the cloud cover. Downdraft smirked at Summer, searching for her canteen in her pack as she spoke.
“You did well out there, for a rookie at least.”
“I… thank you, sergeant.”
Taking a swig of the water in her canteen, she leaned in close, whispering to him as she spoke, “I’d be a bit more careful with my equipment in the future if I were you. It’s a real shame that healing potion slipped out of your pouch. Might want to see about having it checked.”
Summer’s face had gone pale by the time she’d finished, his legs shaking as he stared at her in panic. She laughed, taking another gulp of water as she sauntered away. She figured she might as well get a bit of enjoyment out of him now, given that she’d be spending the next few hours filling out paperwork due to his lost potion.
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Congrats! You get a like.
9608169
Thanks!
Wish you luck on your writing endeavors!
Nice. Descriptions are great. You've nailed the atmospheric aspect of the story, and the narrative is damn captivating for less than 3,000 words. The whole thing flows pretty well, which I'm sure is in part due to your editor's efforts, but also undoubtedly owes itself to your own skills to a great degree. All in all, it's a glowing start. Good job.
I'm guessing this is a crossover with Fallout: Equestria, so is there anything I need to know about that before reading?
9608490
Good question! It should be able to stand on its own, but if you know a few things beforehand, it's probably easier to enjoy.
So, for a tiny amount of background, Equestria was decimated two centuries before during a war with the primary Zebra nation. Most of the surviving earth ponies or unicorns that survived were the ones that took shelter in the Stables. The Pegasi had a unique advantage with their cloud cities, allowing them to seal themselves off from the irradiated surface, forming The Enclave, a Pegasi government based around a High Council. They've kept themselves mostly isolated, generally telling the populace that the surface is uninhabitable, though this isn't quite the case. They've been known to send recon teams and small expeditions down to the surface, something that this story focuses on. The surface itself is habitable, but pretty dangerous. There is scattered settlements and groups, though there isn't many real nations yet.
Pretty much everything else you need to know is in the story itself!
If you have any other questions about the setting, I'd be happy to answer them!
9608486
I did my best to tie things together and keep a consistent tone, I'm happy that it came out as I intended.
Thanks!
Very interesting, and a fascinating take on FOE. You managed to get the tone and atmosphere to a T! A few small grammatical errors, but overall it was a pleasure to read!
9608612
Thanks! I really appreciate the feedback. From what I've heard so far, most people have enjoyed the way I've written the atmosphere, so I'll be trying to replicate that in the future.
9608664
I think the atmosphere is perfect. It maintains the two things critical to the FOE universe (and Fallout in general.) The despair and brutality of the Wasteland, and the sometimes-subtle but often present sense of hope.
Good story. I liked it. There is just one little mistake that I found.
Chaos is the opposite of order, not Harmony. The opposite of Harmony is Discord.
So, unless this was on purpose, I suggest that you change it.
This was very well worth the read, thank you for sharing it!
9608783
I ended up using Chaos rather than Disharmony, as it seemed to convey overall state of the world more accurately. Thanks for pointing it out though!
9609095
Thank you for taking the time to read it!
Mmm, yes, a good shortstory.
9610472
Thanks! May I ask what you liked about it?
9610477
Bah, it's mostly stuff you've read in a few of the other comments.
Though I appreciate how chaotic-neutral the conflicting character responses are, especially given the presented scenario.
9610502
With Downdraft, I was mostly wanting to portray someone(pony?) who wanted to help, but had been ground down by the things they'd seen in the Wasteland to they point that they didn't see it as worth it to do so. She sympathizes with those on the ground, but isn't willing to risk herself to help them at this point. However, she was perfectly willing to turn a blind eye to Summer Breeze trying to help them, even approving of it to an extent.
Summer Breeze was interesting to write as I didn't want to embrace the stereotypes of the Enclave being totally evil or just misunderstood. As a result, I tried to write him as somebody who wanted to help, but wasn't able to take the final step and blatantly going against authority by intervening. Instead, he did his best to help in a way that he though he could get away with without repercussions. He's meant to be a naive and well meaning character in contrast to Downdraft's cynicism.
Overall, I was trying to portray them as, well, normal ponies in a bad situation, rather than the usual heroes or villains. I wouldn't necessarily call them chaotic neutral, just normal.
That's what I was aiming for at least.
Nice little story you have here. Not many people can write something short and fullfilling, and I do honestly want to see more now, but are yet satisfied at the same time. I do always like to see stuff from different perspectives, so if you ever did a follow up would I love to see the world from the merchents point of view, or even the raiders. Telling the same story 3 times would maybe be a bit much, but would tell so much about the wasteland if it was the same story just told trough different eyes.
Don't mind the downvote by the way. There are some people that simply just hate FoE for no other reason than being FoE, and some people that just down vote stories when they see stuff without anything red to them.
Nitpicks:
"She spared a moment to glance to the right for a moment" Repetitious repetitions are repeating
"He hovered alongside her" linebreak mistake
"his breathing hitching as he saw a glimpse of another form lying in the mud ." The space is on the wrong side of the period here.
“We could help them.” You need a space in front of this sentence.
9622061
Thanks! I really appreciate the feedback. I've actually had a somewhat related story in the works, though I've had trouble actually getting my ideas on paper. Aside from that, I'll be sure to correct those issues that you pointed out.
I really appreciate you taking the time to not only read my story, but also write out a comprehensive response!
9624932
I am admin for 2 of the largest FoE groups on this site, if I didn't took the time to give proper feedback would I not be any good leader of a group! Beside, I work as a pre-reader in my spare time, I notice those nit-picks no matter if I want to or not, it is an occupational hazard when you have pre-read for half a dozen years.
As someone who hasn't read FoE, I really enjoyed the atmosphere here. This was a very tight, terse yet engaging read; well paced and ripe with detail. Great work.
10125327
I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed it!
Very good and atmospheric fanfic! Can I translate it into Russian for publication on ponyfiction. org?
11042065
I'm glad you enjoyed it! Please feel free, I'd appreciate it if you tossed me a link once it's done :P