Smile why you can, no one truly makes it out alive.
Equestria falls more and more into the dark king's control as Twilight Sparkle hastily forces herself into plan after plan. Soon coming to the conclusion she would have to take matters into her own hooves and meet him face to face, even if it costs her life.
The first chapter is a test run, if it does well, I will write more. Make sure to comment feedback! Criticism helps me do better~!
Editing Help In Chapter I&II: EverfreePony
=Cover drawn by me=
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The content itself is interesting, but since the chapter was rather short, I can't say anything for certain. Still, I think you managed to keep the balance between the tense atmosphere and thoughtful moments. Also, Twilight seems to be in character. However, the grammar-side of this is not so bright--there is quite a lot of typos, random errors and also some recurring issues in punctuation and capitalization in direct speech and dialogue tags. Nothing too obnoxious or hard to fix though. I can help with that, if you wish.
9405106
Thank you for the advice! I would accept any help I can get with typos, I tend to be horrid on a keyboard.
9405163
You are welcome! Should we talk more in PMs?
9405167
Yes! If it's no trouble to you that is.
9405185
It’s very well alright with me
Hmmm this is going to be interesting.
i want to read the rest
Firstly, the cover art is gorgeous! It's very pleasing to the eye and looks like there was a lot of effort put into it. I would recommend, however, redoing it in color or even redrawing it digitally. It will draw more attention that way.
This story's premise is nice, too. And the writting is fairly good. However, it does seem a bit fast-paced, and there are a lot of holes in the story. Plus, there are some odd word choices. You may want to find an editor, or just read your writting aloud. Either way, please continue! Don't be discouraged by a couple down votes.