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Smolder Mashed

Smolder was just flying down the hallway. Until she saw the strange brown pony with a plastic thing on his head. And then things got out of hand. Also, Silverstream is a psychopath.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

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Little_Draco

Little_Draco #1 · Sep 8th, 2018 · · ·

To many mistakes threw me off the story and really hard to follow with your he/she mix ups.

Cherry Crunch

Cherry Crunch #2 · Sep 9th, 2018 · · ·

9159949
Could you tell me what mistakes there were so I can fix them? I fixed the one paragraph with the messed up he/she, and didn't see anything else.

Zubric

Zubric #3 · Sep 14th, 2018 · · ·

Okay he. Ending was a bit too random.

Cherry Crunch

Cherry Crunch #4 · Sep 14th, 2018 · · ·

9169585
One of the main elements of most of the stories I write is the nonsensicalness of it all. Smolder Mashed is purely comedy (and a little bit of a commentary on virtual reality) and nothing more. Random is exactly what it is supposed to be.