Smolder was just flying down the hallway. Until she saw the strange brown pony with a plastic thing on his head. And then things got out of hand. Also, Silverstream is a psychopath.
Luna is overrated. Thats why I blew her up.
Smolder was just flying down the hallway. Until she saw the strange brown pony with a plastic thing on his head. And then things got out of hand. Also, Silverstream is a psychopath.
To many mistakes threw me off the story and really hard to follow with your he/she mix ups.
9159949
Could you tell me what mistakes there were so I can fix them? I fixed the one paragraph with the messed up he/she, and didn't see anything else.
Okay he. Ending was a bit too random.
9169585
One of the main elements of most of the stories I write is the nonsensicalness of it all. Smolder Mashed is purely comedy (and a little bit of a commentary on virtual reality) and nothing more. Random is exactly what it is supposed to be.
A very fun read!