- Member Since 24th Apr, 2018
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YouThinkYouKnowMe
Alternate account for clopfics
YouThinkYouKnowMe
Joined 24th Apr, 2018 ·
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Interesting. I want to see where Shining Armor fits into this.
I love the twist. At first I thought this was a "chrysalis won." fic the they started talking calmly afterwards. . . And switched places! That's genius, I took a guess at what I was going to read upon seeing the description and it turned out half right. 'chrysalis is Cadances slave.' no. 'Cadance and chrysalis are switches.' Yes. Surprising.
Huh, this is actually pretty well written for a start. Imma see where this goes.
8885529
Thank you, that's good to hear for the first time I'm doing this.
8885251
I'm glad you were actually surprised and appreciated the twist. I hope you'll enjoy what else I have planned.
8885698
Well, I'm hoping it turns out Shining Armor's domming the both of them. That's pretty rare.
8885808
...
Kinky. And pretty well written. Tracking.
I always like when these two get together. Possibly three, if Shining gets in on it too.
I see Cadnce or something similar somewhere in there.
'Chrysalis was alright panting huskily' - already
8892322
Glad you enjoy it. And thanks for pointing those out, they always slip by.
Nice~ Dommy Shining~
'screaming out to played with' - to be played
'she could give live to to take back' - love
8893874
Glad you like. And thanks for catching those.
Nice!
8904681
Glad you like it. Anything you think I could improve on? In ideas for the future?
8908816
Hmm. Well, do you have an editor? There were a few typos here and there, you see.
Other things... I think you're very good with descriptions. That's important for stories like this one! Keeping the reader close to the action and allowing them to follow what's happening. Keep that up!
I did wonder a little about how they look. We know what they look like in pony form, but these are anthros. Is Chrysalis taller than Shining Armor? Is he buff, or slender like his Equestria Girls version? My guess would be Cadance has a very idealised form, since Alicorn-shape is usually used to denote beauty in the show. Show!Chrysalis is kind of an emaciated horror, though, so what does she look like? Does she still have holes in her arms and legs?
If she does, can she be tied up using those?
I adore all the bondage! The sense that Shining is going to be a tad crueler to Chrysalis than to Cadance is great fun, and she seems to appreciate it too. Making them compete could be nice, perhaps even with a task impossible for one or both to complete, so they're sure to earn punishment no matter if they try (likely Chrysalis again). Another idea is for them to work out a (slave) contract for Chrysalis and Cadance, though mostly Chrysalis. She's still technically a foreign diplomat at best, a villain on the lamb at worst. Things should be clarified for legal reasons alone. And why not make it really juicy while they're at it? Amnesty and a declaration of open negotiations between these three rulers, while making it panties-wettingly humiliating for Chrysalis (and Cadance, because why not). That'll set the tone for when they can openly reveal Chrysalis to the world as an ally and a friend... on a leash.
8909012
Unfortunately no, I don't have an editor. I do see what you mean about descriptions though, I guess I kinda assumed on some level my ideas on their bodies were the same as others, but that's probably because I've seen so much fan art of them. I'll get more descriptive in with their bodies during their vacation. As for future plans, I've got some of that worked out already, having what I feel should be some interesting and sexy twists and turns. ChrysArmorDance will not be revealing her or their relationship to the world anytime soon, though.
Update?
me gusta
Is this the end? This story is quite hot, so it would be sad to not see the continuation. ^^
I'd love to read about Chrysalis' experience in her little prison, bound gagged alone in the dark with the maddening vibrators