• Published 25th Sep 2019
  • 513 Views, 21 Comments

Wishing on Stardust - DeathKing



What if Spike wasn't the only one born as a result of Twilight's test?

  • ...
 21
 513

Chapter 1

Author's Note:

Just fixed some mistakes here and there. 12/31/2021

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was a star shining above me in the clear blue sky before it disappeared.

"What is a star?" I wondered.

A star is a star. My thoughts answered back.

"What's the sky?" I thought.

The sky is the sky. My thoughts answered back.

"Why is it blue?" I asked.

Because the sky is blue. My thoughts answered back.

"... What is blue?"

Blue is blue.

I frowned at how simple the answers I had been receiving were. I... Felt like these answers were missing something but were right nonetheless.

"Thinking's weird," I decided. "Wait, what's thinking?" But before I could receive an answer I heard a noise that made my ears twitch. Curious, I closed my eyes and focus solely on my ears as they turned to face the noise I heard.

"Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!"

I winced when the unending number of yeses assaulted my ears like needles. This... Annoyed me. I don't know why it annoyed me, but it did. "But how do I confront it and get it to stop?" I wondered before noticing something falling towards me.

It was then I learned something else. Pain and I didn't like it.

I made a horrible noise that hurt my ears more than the yeses did when the... Rock? Rock! When the rock hit my head. Groaning...? Yes, I think that's the word. While groaning in pain I rolled onto my stomach holding my head with my hooves as I felt something sticky spread across them.

"Are you alright my little pony?" A motherly voice asked me. Looking up I saw a large pony, that I felt like I should know, staring at me. She had a pearl white coat with a tri-colored mane and tail that was blue, pink, and green. Along with an image of the sun on her flanks.

She's pretty, my brain told me. "Why is she pretty, though?" I wondered as she looks at me concern written plainly on her face along with something else.

"Oh, dear. That's a nasty cut you have. Let me just-" She moved to do something but was interrupted by a loud gasp coming from her side. Looking down I notice a lavender-colored filly with a dark blue mane that could be easily mistaken for black in the wrong light with a lite purple and pink stripe going through it.

The filly started circling me and talking so fast that I could only catch a few words she said like "amazing" or "how." When she seems satisfied with circling me she stopped in front of me and hold out her hoof with a smile.

I stared at it for several moments before something 'click' inside my head telling me what she was doing. I slowly raised my hoof and moved it forward. The filly mimicked my action until our hooves collided with a small *clunk.* The filly and I looked down at our hooves and then back at each other. She started giggling and I couldn't help but smile at her, and giggle a bit along with her.

It was then I notice the other ponies in the room with me. Most were unicorns from what I could tell, the only exception for this was the pretty pony and a purple lizard. Most of the unicorns look at me with odd looks that I couldn't place. Especially the blue unicorn with gold eyes and the grey unicorn with blue eyes.

Why would anypony want to make a face that makes them look like they ate something sour?

"... What's sour?"

Sour is sour.

"... Your no help brain." I thought said to my brain.

"-sn't that hurt?"

"Hmm...?"

"I said, doesn't that hurt?" the filly asked while pointing a hoof to my head.

"I think?" I said questioningly to her, not understanding what she meant until I poke the spot she pointing at with my hoof. And immediately jerk my hoof back with a hiss, "I mean yes, yes it does hurt."

"We need to get it treated immediately or you could bleed out or worse!" she said in a panic. "I won't let any happen to my new BLSFF!"

"BLS wha?"

"Just hold still," said the filly as her horn began to spark. "I read medical spell-book before, so in theory, I could-"

"Now that's quite enough, Twilight," the pretty pony said to the filly now-called Twilight.

"But, princess Celestia, I can help!" Twilight whined as the sparks from her horn stopped.

"I know, my little pony," the princess said with a giggle. "But a filly who had just had a magic surge like yours shouldn't be using her magic so carelessly."

Twilight looked torn between listening to the princess or ignoring her advice. "So with that in mind," the Princess said with a smile, "it's naturally that both of you go to a hospital for a quick check-up."

Twilight nodded along with what the Princess said and was about to say something in return when the purple lizard pulled her tail. Twilight let out a yelp and quickly look behind her. When she saw what was pulling on her tail she giggle before sitting down pulling the purple and green lizard, that was now chewing on her tail and sitting it between her hooves. Where she started patting the lizard's head while giggling.

"Sorry about that," she said to the lizard. "I didn't mean to ignore you, but I'm just so excited to have a little sister now!" She said causing the grey and blue unicorns' sour looks to worsen.

It was then I noticed that there was a golden light shinning above my head. Looking up, I saw the princess's horn glowing a golden yellow, and what looks like pieces of cloth being held in it. The cloth moved towards me and quickly wrapped itself around my head, making it hard for me to see.

The princess then smiled at me, "I'm just gonna keep this wrapped around your head until the doctor can take a look at it. Alright?" she asked and I nodded to her as Twilight did before.

"Good," the princess said before picking me up in her golden glow and sitting me on her back.

"Miss Velvet, can you carry Twilight and the young drake for me?" the princess asked. The grey and blue unicorn shared a look before they both nodded and moved to pick Twilight and the lizard up and place them on their backs.

With that done, the princess started walking towards a door that, from what my brain tells me, led out of the room. Before leaving, the princess whispered something to a pair of ponies wearing gold armor standing by the doors before walking through.

Turning around I saw that Twilight is talking the ear off of the blue unicorn while the grey one carried the lizard. I also saw the remaining ponies in the room try to follow us but were quickly stopped by the ponies in gold armor.

And when one of them tried to follow regardless, one of the gold armored ponies lifted up their gold spears and-

*BANG* My view was cut short when the doors were slammed closed by a pair of gold armored ponies standing outside the doors we just left through.

"Huh, I wonder what that was about?"

Comments ( 21 )

Well written and interesting enough to keep me reading. Can really say more with just this first bit.

I look forward to seeing what happens next.

Interesting enough to track. Let’s see where this goes.

BLSFF

I think its LSBFF.

9892497
I think you might be right. I change it when I finish the next chapter.

9892735
Ps when might that be?

9918790
I'm stuck between wanting to write the next chapter in first person or third person. Or maybe have it start as one and transition to the other.

But don't worry, it shouldn't take long to write it once I found which one I want to do it as.

10019318
Yeah, you would think having the chapter planned out beforehand would help with writing it but its been more of a hindrance to me instead. I think I should go back to writing a chapter by thinking of a idea and going with it and when finish improve what was written until I think its good enough for others to read.

Plus writing a character with little to no personality has been a challenge, one that I been enjoying, but a challenge nonetheless.

10019441
I think you could get the personality from the old Fic.

10020296
I did. I written three versions of this story the first was the most similar using the same human and twivine. The second used a different human and a twivine. The last story I forgo the use of a human and twivine and made a OC pony for it instead.

... I got sidetracked let me start again. I did start the story using a lot of what did Questionable Brony in the first few chapters up to the point where Princess Celestia was talking to Nightlight and Velvet at their home before I made any relatively big changes from the original story. But than a stray thought caught my attention which lead to me stop what I was already writing and start over from a different angle which lead to Wishing on Stardust, which I don't regret doing.

But what I'm trying say is do you think people would care/prefer if I release the first version of this of story as a separate story? I mean already have it partly started so should I say f*** it and go all Leroy Jenkins?

10020462
Maybe not Leroy Jenkins it but use a human that kinda knows what she's doing in the timeline. And yes you should release it. And it would be fun to see two takes on the same story!!!!!

10021641
Okay then! I try getting that version up and running sooner rather than later.

10053867
I finally decided how to start the next chapter and I even began writing it, unfortunately I haven't had much time the last few weeks to finish it.

10053938
Okay hope you find time soon.

Any news?

10112865
Sorry for the late reply. I been sick on and off the last month and my job wouldn't let me take off. The chapter has been... well I barely touched since I got sick in early-February. I got up to 1800 words before stopping (Which is about half way there) but haven't added much more to it since.

Now I won't lie. I feel like crap. Better crap since the start of February but still crap nonetheless. That doesn't mean I stop writing!... Unless I have a headache, I can't do anything while having a headache.

Anyway, I hope to get this finish before Nioh 2 comes out. So won't tempt me to play it instead of writing.

10113102
I'm sorry to hear your sick and hope you feel better soon!!!!!

Login or register to comment