• Published 4th Aug 2017
  • 3,069 Views, 20 Comments

The Queen Bee's Appetite - Learn for Life



After helping the Queen Bee of a hive of giant Everfree Honeybees, Fluttershy indulges herself in some honey. (Specifically an inflation story)

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Comments ( 5 )

Gotta love the setup for that last scene. Inflation caused by miscommunication or accidents is simply the best.

Fluttershy’s portrayal in this whole story is amusing. I get the impression that on some level she wants to become huge, but her inhibitions stop her from admitting this or acting on it. Except all these opportunities and accidents are enough to overcome her inhibitions, or at least make her not fight back as hard as she thinks she should.

Also love that ambiguous ending. How long does it take before Fluttershy’s friends come to find her? How big does she get before they arrive? I know what answer I prefer...

and for a moment she wondered if they were anacondas there to keep her company.

That’s a wonderful Fluttershy moment right there. That when the topic of snakes comes up, she thinks of them as friends first and foremost.

A few more minutes passed, and she felt like a sock fresh out of the dryer was wrapped around her hooves. Then it felt like a vice was being wrapped around them, slowly getting tighter and tighter.
...
What had once been her withers crept over the top of her head, like a kitty cat was trying to climb on and get a good spot to sleep.

Some great similes right there. Imagery like this is what keeps a story from being a bland recitation of events.

I made Fluttershy talk normally throughout, and I couldn't replicate "tubby speak," or when a person's dialogue is hindered by their cheeks. "Thunk yu vury munch" instead of "Thank you very much" and the like. That it my image of the story, and I didn't deliver.

I didn’t mind the absence here. I’m not a fan of tubby speak in general; I just tolerate it when other authors include it.

I'd say for a first effort it turned out pretty well all things considered. As for being unhappy with the final product, I think all creative types are like that to an extent.

Great work! It turned out really well, methinks, especially for your first inflation story. The pacing is, in my opinion, really sweet and entirely fitting for the theme of the plot (heh). This is absolutely a good start if you ever want to do another one of these! :D

I really loved this story, you have some great descriptions

This fic is even more amusing now, in light of “A Health of Information”...

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