(Only the back-story is dark, so I'm not going to put the tag, unless asked to do so. OC characters included)
As Rarity and Spike search for some more jewels for one of the fashionista's FABULOUS dresses, Spike comes across a particular jewel that sends him and Rarity to another version of Equestria.
In this world, two tyrants that came from yet another dimension, have conquered most of the planet, and their armies of demons and monsters ensure that any land taken from each other is shared through blood and death.
This has lasted for five-hundred years, but, the two alicorn princesses are nowhere to be seen...somewhat. However, Spike and Rarity don't end up in that scenario right away. No. Rather, they end up in tunnels underneath the whole events of the world, and Rarity will discover something that could change the events that have lasted for over five centuries. More-so, they discover the new situation of many of their former friends and enemies and how they are coping with this new world...or what has befallen them upon this new world.
Rarity and Spike are the only hope left for this Equestria, but what chance does a fashion designer and a baby dragon have in defeating the tyrants where powerful armies and alicorns have failed?
916078 PM? I like to know the thoughts of others.
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Dear Psycho, Will read this when I have time.
Promise.
Halosnake
917777 Why did you think it was going to be Trixie? Also, I surmise that this is one of those stories I make with a complex backstory and upon which only you will comment again.
917977 You know where to "say" them, then.
917995 In a bowl, moisturizing in some fresh, cold lava.
930996 Because demons like to attack what is small and puny to them. She was small and powerless, so, why not get an easy kill?
931105
Why didn't cadence step in earlier to you know save the changeling queen which keeps their people alive by feeding them? everyone just kind of leaves her to her fate and then cadence says she will throw them out if they don't stop after she gets saved
?
quite a few mistakes too. (just a few here forgot to mark them when I read through so there are still others)
"You rtime on this plane will have been short."
"Your time on this plane will have been short."
"attempts of the little changeling, that i, until said changeling"
"attempts of the little changeling, that is, until said changeling"
"It would seem that, judging by a massive hole behind Rarity and Spike, a substance came out and strengthened the golem. No matter what spell the demon would use, she just couldn't get out."
Pretty convenient for the Golem to suddenly get strengthened by a "Mysterious substance" isn't it? its makes it a bit unbelievable and it makes it feel like you couldn't think of anything better to write and just said "fuck it, this will do"
Well that's my feedback on the story, I am quite liking this so far (Golems are always cool!)
997459I'll explain in the next chapter why it was "conveniately" placed there. Also, thanks for pointing out the errors. I love to ki-correct them.
Well you see, one day I was aksed to read this story when it happened. The world opened up below me and swallowed me in. I was in utter darkness and groped my way around, searching for a path... However after hours of walking I found I was in a circular room. I had been for hours. I had one option. Attempt to walk to the center. As I did I slowly found that light was being shed around me. Somehow the center o the room was dimly lit. Looking down I saw a covering on the ground. It weighed an immense weight but, struggling the whole way, I got it open. Below was a small drop down to another room. This one had a computer on one side. I made my way to the computer and looked at the files. One was labeled Psy/och.Ill Opening the file I came across a text document. This is what it read: Congratulations on finding this. You have now achieved enlightenment. Have a good day.
I awoke in my bed screaming. On my computer read a text document saying three words.
You mad bro?
1111590 Still a comment.
1111599
Never said it wasn't
1117150 You aren't disturbed by what Epoch might be doing to her prisoner?
5380209 Just restarted it. Can't exaggerate it. It was a good way to continue it. You didn't tell me if you were glad I resumed it.
5392521 Who says I'm trying to make him intimidating?
As for the dialogue, it's me trying to display a more realistic perception of things. I'm trying to get back to describing and detailing correctly. Writing fanfiction has numbed me a bit.