Rainbow Dash not only yells at her parents for their behavior during her performance with the
Wonder Bolts, but also angrily berates her little sister figure Scootaloo for bringing her family to
where she works, causing her to say hurtful things that may affect the two’s relationship. Unknown
to both another Wonder Bolt had heard what was going on and decides to help them out before
Rainbow Dash end’s up making a terrible mistake like she did. Raised to teen because of my
language in my authors note.
Chapters (3)
I haven't read many stories based on Parental Glidance, but this seems like an angle that you're right to represent - family stuff is complicated, and ultimately between those involved, so perhaps outsiders shouldn't jump in without serious thought first. It should have been obvious to Scootaloo that there was something seriously off about Rainbow not telling her parents she became a Wonderbolt, and so left it at that until talking to Rainbow about it (though I think in the episode she outs Rainbow before she realises Rainbow's parents don't know).
One thing I'd say about your writing is that it sounds kind of strange to be referring to characters as 'Twilight's friend,' especially when it's not Twilight speaking or even in the scene. I'd say be careful writing Spitfire if you don't like her, it's hard to portray a character you're not keen on fairly. I think she's the best thing in the sky, but that's me.
8379827
Sorry about that, it's something I've done for a while with a friends advice and I did this on FanFiction.Net.
Also I am glad you like the story and it helps me deal with some stress I've been going through. As for Spitfire I'm sorry it's just after the episode Newbie Dash I officially hate the Wonderbolts for the crap they put Rainbow through and the lesson for that episode came to little to late. I know Dash isn't perfect but at least she says sorry for the things she's done.
But RD was in the right in that episode. And The Wonderbutts were in the wrong in Newbie Dash.
8379996 I really can't recommend the site's writing guide enough, it's so clearly laid out and makes everything easy to understand. It's got a great section on Lavender Unicorn Syndrome, which is what you've done there, that I'd highly suggest reading.
If it helps, DWK's Totally Legit Recap video makes Newbie Dash a hundred times better (and I loved the episode to begin with), and is the best resolution to all the controversy around that episode that I've ever seen.
8380043
I read over what you showed me and I will remember that when I work on the next chapter. It's just I've been writing like how I've been for the last couple years and I was comfortable with that style. I'll read it over again.
RD's parents should be arrested for assault and arsonry, and Scootaloo should get grounded for walking into two stranger's home.
The Wonderbolts are just a bunch of thugs.
I'm glad to see an update! Enjoying the talks so far. I don't like how some people sometimes side too much with Scootaloo on this because parents cheering too much can really lead to issues. My mom loved to compare me to herself, but she was way more naturally talented than I was so I felt like I had a lot to live up to that I would never and it hurt.
On the Rainbow Dash side of things, one thing I'd like to see is her talking about how the cheering isolated her. I don't think we've seen much on that but I really noticed in the episode how in the pictures of the place finishing when Dash was younger eventually lead to Dash being in first place and all the others flying away, likely because of how her parents were cheering for her. That had to have lead to some insecurities and be a large part of why their cheering was too much.
It's fine if you don't want to include it, it's just a thought I had.
10082229
I like your suggestion and I might use it for the next chapter as I've been trying to get back into writing again. I've had a serious case of writers block and real life hasn't been all that good. But it's never fair to anyone. Thank you for the suggestion.
When is the next chapter?
10178686
I'm trying to get it done but I've been lacking motivation and writers block. Plus real life is a pain.
10183686
Hope this will be finished. Considering this would have been a great episode to show how to pay attention to your actions and how they affect others. Considering rainbow parents were going about stalker fan level. Who keeps one their kids old diapers around?! I know they didn't mean harm but they were acting nuts about their kid. Rainbow is wonderful in her own way but she isn't the greatest thing to exist and at the end of the day she is just a pony like any other who just had the courage to the right thing when it was needed.
welp this was an interesting first chapter to say the least
9576930
what why?
11464967
RD's parents vandalized their daughter's work and even blasted her with fireworks. Scootaloo needs should NOT have gone in those two's house; STRANER DANGER!
RD had every right to yell at her deadbeat parents, they are crazy and dangerous.