Sunflower Seeds of Change

by Johnny B Mediocre

Closure

The group of pajama-clad friends lay in their respective sleeping bags, fast asleep (a few in particular snoring) after the activities of tonight's sleepover.

Well, almost everyone.

Sunset Shimmer, the host of the party, was lying awake in her bed, her magical book clutched to her chest. A wave of reluctance washed over her, unsure how to put her feelings into word. With a sigh, she grabs her bedside pen, opens the latches on the book and puts her pen to the aged paper. After a bout of nervousness, she begins to write.

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

I'm sorry to bother you at this hour, but there's a question that's been bugging me these last few years, and I keep forgetting to ask you it.

...Well... that, and... I'm scared of the answer.

So, please.

Just tell me...

...Does she care anymore?

She lets out a deep exhale, as if a burden of stress had been lifted from her shoulders. The pen drops from her hand as she lays back and shuts the book, thinking that she probably won't get a response. She thought of many reasons why Twilight might not respond, other than her being asleep - which, knowing the Princess and how busy she kept herself, she probably wasn't.

Could it be an awkward subject?

Has she sworn the young princess into keeping silent on the issue?

All sorts of anxious ideas cloud her mind that she doesn't notice the book glowing on her lap until a few seconds pass, to which she quickly opens the book again, noticing the reply underneath her message. The first half of it makes her eyes widen. She puts her hand to her mouth, as tears form in her eyes, trying to hold her emotions in and not wake everyone up.

Dear Sunset Shimmer:

Yes.

And she forgives you completely.

There's more that follows, but that was the clincher for Sunset. That was all she needed to hear. She smiles and wipes her tears away. She'd read the rest in more detail tomorrow. For now, she shuts the book and places it back inside a drawer by her bedside.
Lying down, she closes her eyes as she feels the last of her troubles fading away. She can finally relax.

She is Sunset Shimmer.

And her past was not today.

Author's Note:

just a little bonus something that may also have turned out to be shit since it's 5AM and I'll probably regret it in the morning

feel free to give me any tips since I'm willing to admit I'm bad at this so you don't have to tell me that I'm bad

Comments

[Purple Pony]

I thought you did good. It's small and sweet.
The best part is, you got the grammar right, and that immediately beats about 5% of the stories on this site.

[Johnny B Mediocre]

8085690 thanks m8, that's an absolute relief to hear considering the timeframe I wrote this in and how fuckin' tired I was at the time

[genesisofthewind]

I want to start by saying I really liked the story. Just a simply look into Sunsets psyche. It was short and sweet and not dragged down with needless filler (something I tend to do very often.) However I found some of the style in the writing to be a little off putting. First, some of your wording was a little off.

Sunset Shimmer, the host of the party, is lying awake in her bed, her magical book clutched to her chest. A wave of reluctance washes over her, unsure how to put her feelings into words.

This could be cleaned up just a little bit to flow a little bit easier.

Sunset Shimmer, the host of the party, was lying awake in her bed, her magical book clutched to her chest. A wave of reluctance washed (or washing if you want to make it more present tense) over her, unsure how to put her feelings into word.

This helps the flow just a little bit, and over all allows for an easier narrative.

Second, I loved your use of onomatopoeia in the first chapter. That's something I don't see too often in stories on this site so I want to applaud you for that.

Other than a minor nitpick on my part, I thought this story was fantastic and hope it does well. Thanks for the great story and I hope to see more from you in the future.

[Battlecat]

I quite enjoyed it. Nicely done for a first release!

[Johnny B Mediocre]

8086567
thanks m8 I'll see if I can muster up something else in the future

8086573
yeah tense is always something I've had a problem with - I think I read too many transcripts because I always seem to write things as if they're happening right now rather than describing something that happened

if only Word had a tense-check

I'll keep that in mind, thanks m8

[Tethered-Angel]

Cute, fun read.

Best tip I can offer is don't be down on your own work.

[Pony_Person_123]

This is a great story. I love it.

[ScisetShimmerEvan]

There's more that follows, but that was the clincher for Sunset. That was all she needed to hear. She smiles and wipes her tears away. She'd read the rest in more detail tomorrow. For now, she shuts the book and places it back inside a drawer by her bedside. Lying down, she closes her eyes as she feels the last of her troubles fading away. She can finally relax.

And that is what counts in the end.