• Member Since 15th Feb, 2017
  • offline last seen 13 hours ago

Jet Storm


Writer, pre-reader and a dad to two colts and a filly.


T

It has been two years since John and Mary lost their daughter, and they continue to grieve to this day. On the second anniversary, however, someone knocks at the door begging for help. Their chance meeting will change their lives and the life of a pony forever.

This is my on own interpretation Sunset Shimmer's back story after arriving on Earth and explains what happened to her counterpart.

This is my entry for the Randome's Contests: Contest #1 - The Sun's Final Rising.

Warning: It is a tear jerker - bring tissues!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 36 )

Took me a few minutes to stop crying. ok ok ok...Whew good story, i hope you continue it, i want to know, more will Sunset take a different path and what happened to her. Banished?

Celestia banished her? Or was she trying to scare her and back fired?

8170223 You're telling me. I had to fight back my own tears as I was writing it :fluttercry:. I'm glad you enjoyed it though.

Celestia banished her? Or was she trying to scare her and back fired?

I tried to look at it from Sunset's perspective and figured that as a filly she probably thought that she had been banished. Remember by that stage the mirror could only work every 30 moons, so she was pretty much exiled for 3 years. :rainbowderp: Kinda harsh if you think about it.

i hope you continue it

Ah hehehe - actually never thought that far ahead:twilightblush:. I originally wanted to keep this as a one shot, short story ... having said that I may be interested in doing a spin-off this particular story, if there is enough interest. I'm kinda busy writing other stories at the moment :twistnerd: so we'll see.

8171277

Sorry dude, but this won't make me cry. Like my OC Coalstone, my heart is strong like Stone and I don't cry easily.

You want something to make me breakdown, need to be something more like Minato and Kushina's death scene from Naruto. Though even that didn't make me cry.

So better luck next time, but if you still wanna try feel free.

8171326 :pinkiegasp: Pfft, I bet your like Applejack mate, just crying on the inside. :rainbowwild:

8171343 Lol, Glad you enjoyed it mate! :heart:

8171355

Nope, sorry dude. I can cry, but it takes a lot to make me cry, and I mean ALOT.

Also I don't have a face or eyes for that matter, so crying is difficult

8171371 Darn, I'd love to meet you in person so I can understand what makes you tick. I so would love to see a crying face from.... a .... um :rainbowhuh:.... a fan without a face ? :facehoof:

Alright, that sounded wittier in my head but still! I will make you bawl your eyes out one day!!:pinkiecrazy:

Beautiful story. It got ahold my heartstrings at the end.

8171403

Bring it on dude. Day you make me cry is the day Sunset Shimmer or Rainbow Dash pops out of my computer screen and asks me out on a date.

8171460 BUWAHAHAHAHA!! :rainbowlaugh:

8171464 Oh, Darling, you must tell me the name of the pony who does your makeup :raritystarry:. Why she brings out the colour of your eyes! :raritywink:

8171474

Honestly if we're talking makeup I plan to eventually make a full costume out of it, making the mask match my author picture.

This is a good story.

8171535 Thanks Lavendar!

Only real criticism is that I feel it needed a slightly longer build up. It felt a little rushed at bits. But over all a solid idea and one I look forward to reading more of.

8171646 Thank you, I will take your criticism on board. :twilightsmile:

This seems interesting, It is easy for me to cry, I.E Plastic Memories, Clannad After Story ( I am a Pussy after all ) so I'll read this after some errands I'll run. Other than that, have a banana.

8172664 Dude shut up about Clannad After story. I was bawling like a baby when I first watched it. Anything about a parent and child relationship sends me into a world of tears.:raritycry:

TSFRJ #26 · May 18th · · ·

A bit rushed. I'd love to see you rewrite it a bit longer and add to it. I'm curious how she explains herself to them. And how Sunset reacts to finding out about her counterpart died and if she really should be with them. A story showing a parallel person replacing a person who died and how family deals with it. To read more about how her parents handle being given a second chance.

This is a good short story. You did great :fluttercry:

Loved the story. Really nice. Unfortunately due to uh well my um well let's just say with how I was raised and stuff in high school. I did not cry nor did i actually feel anything. While yes I still say it was a very nice and sweet story.

This was really cute! Can't...Hold...Back...:fluttershbad: :raritycry: Adorable story! Tear jerker if I've ever read one. Great job

8173376 Thank you. Regardless if you cried (with the exception of Fan without a Face) I'm still glad that you enjoyed it and I appreciate your comments.

8173351 :twilightblush:, I'll admit that I did rush the ending. I only wanted to write a short story and a one shot as opposed to a novel, but I understand what you saying. It would be a very interesting drama series to write, especially that dynamic you raised.

If I were to write it though, it would be linked back to the source material. So it'd be almost like an Anakin Skywalker story - you know she'd start off good, adjusts, gets a taste for power, adoptive parents are worried for their little girl only to be reminded she's not, becomes truly awful :flutterrage: (i.e. Equestria Girls) and then gets redeemed. Then redemption story with her "adoptive" parents would be awesome - she's sorry for being so awful, her adoptive parents apologise for not accepting Sunset for Sunset, but as a carbon copy of Sally and she has a re-do.

My only problem was that I couldn't hold back my own tears when writing this story so I hate to think what would happen if I had to redo it again. I don't think I have the heart to be honest. :fluttershysad: Please, don't make me do it. Please :pinkiesad2:

8173755 :twilightsmile: I'm glad you enjoyed it.

8174153 regardless I'm still sorry that I wasn't able to convey the emotion this story represented. It's just stuff in my past made me into a cold hearted bastard. I can laugh sure but I can't really feel moved by stuff I wish I could but it's something I just can't control anymore.

8174160 - It's fine mate, you don't need to explain yourself. My wife was the same when she read the story, but me a parent and child relationship is an emotional trigger that sets me off. I don't know why. I can watch a movie where two best friends die in a movie and not bat an eyelid, but I see a kid with cancer telling their parents, "it's okay. You don't need to worry about me anymore. You were an awesome mum and dad, and I love you," before closing their eyes for the last time never to open them again - that shit there messes with me.

You acknowledged the fact that you liked my story, and found it sweet. That I appreciate and thank you for. So no more sappy crap! I wish you a good day!:heart:

No worries Jet Storm. If Equestria Daily is right Sunset Shimmer will be returning to Equestria soon for a Starlight adventure. So my Sunset Shimmer excitement hype train is already rolling. There are some similarities to my life experiences and Sunset Shimmer's story. I'm good with what you made. Who knows maybe it's my destiny to write a Sunset Shimmer Story. I've yet to write my 1st official story for now I seem to only be able to read. Thankyou again, your story is awesome. :raritystarry:

8174288 Well I'd be happy to be a pre-reader and flesh out your story. I've been helping a couple of people now, and I really have been enjoying it.

8174333 doubt I'll ever write anything. Last idea I had involved human shimmer showing up years after Pony shimmer went back and human shimmer walking in on humane 6 talking about their highschool days and asking each other if they still remembered Sunset, wishing they could see her again only to then look up and see a confused Sunset Shimmer human at Sugarcube Corner. That Shimmer came to retrieve a family trinket from the statue that belonged to her great great grandfather swirl beard. But I'll probably never finish it. To many good writers like you keep me reading instead :twilightsmile:

8174182 all right sir. I wish you a good day as well.

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