TheIronMask
Joined 3rd Feb, 2015 ·
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I wanna see dis
(I wanna see a Stillongrad army roll across and murderize equestria)
Guns huh? Well I suppose. A good start I say.
7876563 Thanks Bud!
7876474 Murderize? I think not. Although, maybe I'll think of something with the country. But for now, it will not be like COD: WaW
7877146 I wanna see my (username) in the story!
Well it's well-written but I'd add a little more info on what's happened and why.
Not too much, the overall air of mystery is quite endearing but just so the readers know and can get invested with the characters.
The names are good and it seems Equestria has its own equivalent of the Foreign Legion or a similar foreign mercenary corps if Morgen and Kaze are any indication. You don't normally see them so far from home.
7888916 You're close. I have a headcanon that Thestral colonies have their own unique language, and since bats are on every continent save for Antarctica it was a simple choice to make regarding characters. Thanks for the comment
7889179 Fair enough.
Good work in any case.
Aside from the less-than-perfect grammar and lack of emotional description, I'd say the writing is alright. I can't say I actually like the story, as it amounts to just pointless violence.
Due to some issued with grammar, I couldn't always tell what was going on. The use of military jargon made it more confusing.
7889205 I apologize for the jargon. I do forget that not everybody can understand it fluently. As to not really liking it, fair enough, seeing as it was a spinoff anyhow. Thanks for the comment.
7889220 Thank you for reading it. I hope I could help.
Interesting story you have here.
8013321 thank you