Aria's Revenge

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Comments ( 9 )

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Bloodmoon

Bloodmoon #1 · Dec 31st, 2016 · · ·

Awesome story

The Dark Wolf

The Dark Wolf #2 · Dec 31st, 2016 · · ·

Still more dislikes. I thought I did better this time. Unless it's people who either hate this kind of story or want more explicit content, whom I warned against reading this

I'll keep this up here for anyone who likes it (thanks for that comment Bloodmoon), but this is the absolute last story I write. I no longer have the confidence to write fetish stories, and that was the last scenario I could think of which I had to stretch for.

Lunar Park

Lunar Park #3 · Jan 1st, 2017 · · ·

Disliked, and here’s why, since just disliking doesn’t do you any services.

The first reason is the narrative itself. It reads, frankly, like an episode of Family Guy. If this was supposed to be a comedy, a lot of that could be a series of jokes, and they could work well. The absurdly quick pasing, that they’d agree to go into a haunted mansion with no apparent reward, and the out-of-character dialogue, all of which are problems if we’re meant to take the story seriously, could all be played up for laughs: maybe at yourself, or maybe at newer writers. To do that, you could easily have Pinkie hang a lampshade unobnoxiously to let the audience in on the joke. Nothing wrong with putting a little humour in porn. That said, those are all problems that should be worked on if you’re serious.

First-person narrative can help you write about the desperation and discomfort central to omorashi. Rather than speak about some thing that happened at some point, we could get a character telling us what they thought at the time, how they struggled to keep their clothes dry, how close they were to bursting, and how wonderful finally getting to go was.

Please, read some other fanfictions, learn what they did right and wrong, and use that. If you do, the quality of your writing should improve.

The Dark Wolf

The Dark Wolf #4 · Jan 1st, 2017 · · ·

7834385 In that case I just don't know how to do them right. I do whatever I can to try to make the whole scenario work and I'm just not that good at thinking about them. I'll remove this story in two days unless someone gives me reason not to, and I'll never write another story again.

Also, I get the feeling I might have let a little too much of my fetish-based creativity come out, while making the scenario too unlikely. My darkest fantasies know no bounds (beyond restricting them to fictional characters), and that's why I often feel ashamed of them

Also they're not meant to be taken too seriously, they're for people who really want to see this type of the fetish applied to these characters

Lady Q