David, or rather Prince Artemis, faces an uncertain future. Is it possible for him to find happiness after a millenia of hatred and pain? Or will the past be a lingering shadow from which he cannot escape? Only time will tell.
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UPDATE! UPDATE!!! IAM SOOOOO HAPPY!
I haven't read a word...but SOOOOO HAPPY!!!
I'm liking the story, but even so does anyone else wish Artemis would make his own way instead of being stuck with these sugar puff ponies?
I love the multiple views of what Artemis is doing and the peeks into his psyche. Keep 'em coming!
"... for a happy life till i learn about what happened in the badlands."
Even if she is being completely honest with Cadance, which I doubt with how she was obviously amused at Artemis's discomfort earlier, Celestia is honestly playing a very dangerous game here. It could all backfire and send Artemis into a totally isolationist state.
I still think Luna is bothered by her comparatively light punishment, as well she ought to be.
Rename this guy matt, because heis letting people walk all over him, its fucking guilt trips galore if he doesnt want to do something.
Twillight and Rainbow have crush on Artemis, which is strange considering he tried to kill them
So much IC goodness!
7998617 He actually have considered it for a little while and I am about 70 ℅ sure he may try again when he will be betrayed again and considering who's trying to woo him that's one a given.
7998585
Ah yes, i mean it wouldn't make for a very good story but i'd like to see him a little more rebellious, and at little more physically aggressive but now that he is starting to come around a lot of the aggressive moments won't appear as much.
Oh also how the fuck can a human mind come back from being tortured for 1000 years POW soldiers were broken in under 10 years.
Gald to see a update. Keep up the good work.
7998617 one who didn't ascend and thus died of old age, perhaps?
I like the memory scenes, can't wait to see where this story goes.
I like this story, as it is well written, but I have a hard time reading it.
Mostly because the way Artemis treats himself hits very close to my heart, as I was once very similar to him in how I felt.
7998925 I'll let you in on a secret. The reason I can write him so broken? I've been there, too
for a pony
7998585 Yes. First thought after reading this Chapter: ... and he's turning into a pussy. Why can't he keep his rage and screw with both Celestia and Luna until they're forced to leave him alone.
He better not wish out loud, that's how you get an unfulfilled wish.
I love it.
I don't think I am the only one who went through something like this.
At first life kinda shot me down. It's bad to be noticed, worse to try, just keep your head down and keep to yourself.
That was a rough time, I was cold to the world, because I thought it cold to be in it.
It took people like Luna to nurture me back, and someone taking a chance on me like Pinkie to really bring me back, and I am much happier for it.
Though I think there are potential for many ships here (). I wouldn't rule out
Keep them coming and coming strong! Arty has just begun to find his place in this new world.
>>Coranth
I see two possibilities. One, she's counting on him to brake so she could have justification to put him down like a mad dog or a crazed animal. The second possibility is he does it brake and she trends him into what nightmare moon wanted him to be in the first plase. A weapon.
That's what I see.
Celestia is clearly manipulating him for her means.
7999027 Showing emotion is not weakness. Coming to the realization that you don't need to be miserable, that you aren't alone is a powerful thing. He doesn't need to carry the weight of it. He isn't Batman.
He is far more human than that.
Nice emotional chapter. Very interested to see what comes of that 'memory' at the beginning. I recall Luna and Tia mentioning another by the name of Artemis...
Although it appears I am in the minority on this topic, I disagree with those who claim Artemis should be less of a doormat. IMO his sense of self is next to non-existent, so it shouldn't be expected of him to be stronger in asserting his presence in the world. Nor do I feel that it would be beneficial to the story if he was to be more assertive. Part of his character is that he is weak and flawed, and growth isn't going to happen quickly, much less instantaneously.
Edit: Apparently not necessarily in the minority, just the first to explicitly voice it.
I'm pretty sure dragon should be capitalized as it's a title, but don't take my word for it. Either way it's capitalized on the wiki.
7999067
I think that you were trying to reply to 7999027
to do that you just click the [>>] on the upper right-hand corner of the comment.
it will then put a ">>"followed be a string of numbers like this but without the "_"
">>_7999027"
Well, seeing artemis mope and punish himself for something that isnt his fault is getting tiring fast. Still waiting for him to realize he owes them nothing. Raging like a madstallion wont help him but being a good little puppet for whatever celestia wants of him wont either
Something that always irked me about these types of stories is how quickly the mental healing process happens. As cadence says, thousands of year of physical and mental trauma to a person that was never meant to live past 90. That kind of thing takes more than some friends and counselling to overcome, and the effects should be much more apparent.
Other than that, a really good chapter. Thanks for the update.
7998816 i believe nmm kept him at the brink of madness instead of breaking him
If he was completely insane he wouldnt be useful for her.
7998720 i find kinda tough to swallow someone having a genuine crush on him right now
Cant believe unstable, dangerous, possibly suicidal and crazy dude that goes around guilt tripping himself 24/7 potentially atractive as a romantic partner.
Hmm, so he's at least removed the deadbolt to his emotional door, it's just a matter of when and how he'll decide to remove the lock and open it.
Then slam it shut if Chrysalis fucks his sense of trust later
so good.
just one critique though, you might want to firm up your tense, most narration like this uses past tense for the narration, you still can use present tense for the characters inner monologue
im not sure i noticed it in previous chapters or your last story though so anyways great thoughtful chapter and we finally see a bit of celestia's thoughts
i wonder whats going on with artys memory though, if theres foreshadowing there
7999410 It's the sympathy.
7999410 He is an Alicorn, basically perfection, Godlike. Mythology has shown that that is a turn on
I like reading this story. It's a bit of catharsis.
7999378 yeah, stuff like that is hard to write. If he gets over it too quick, it's just unrealistic and hurried. But on the other hand, your average reader doesn't want to hear about years of wallowing in self-pity, either.
It's a tough balancing act. I don't envy the author.
7999262 Wonderfully put.
7999819 yeah, you have to strike a balance and once he is "getting better" it still shouldn't be as if nothing happened. The experience and pain needs to make up a part of his personality and views. Without him being a massive edge lord.
Also, I think he is getting over his "distaste" of luna alittle to quickly.
And just like every single other fanfic similar in premise and structure to this one, it quickly becomes so unrealistic that I physically cringe when reading it.
I could elaborate on the sheer amout of tropes and clithes jammed into this one chapter alone, but it is late and I don't feel like writing a minimum of three paragraphs.
It's really a shame since this started out with some real promise.
I sorta of wonder if celestia secretly hoped Artemis would do something stupid that would require for him to be executed or exiled at the very least. Also I agree with Curtis lemay on his lack of assertiveness. He is suffering massive depression and trauma. Let him slowly work through this and have him go through therapy and hope things do get better for him after awhile.
8000288
I also get the impression that Celestia has been pushing him too soon because she can't stand not knowing.
I've been wondering if it will ever be phrased, by Artemis or by Luna herself, that Nightmare Moon's betrayal of Artemis at the very beginning was while in the guise of Luna. Using her voice, using her identity. That Luna presents herself as being better and to trust her, I as a reader can't help but be reminded of that, and see it a tad uncomfortably since it's not ever addressed.
7999334
Thanks man.
The princesses need to understand that his little visit to the scene of the crime was perhaps cathartic for Arty. He needed to express his pain that way in order to get any release from it.
But there is something strange going on with the planted memories--someone's definitely doing a mind-fuck that's going to bite everyone in the ass sooner or later.
8000285
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TropesAreTools
8000520 Agreed. I doubt I would be able to trust a person, if someone else impersonated them, and then did horrible things to me. Even though Nightmare Moon was the one who did everything to Artemis, he should still be slightly more leery IMO. Because I can't see anyone getting to where his level of trust is so fast.
Is it weird that I find Artemis acting different than he should be, or that he is changing too fast?
I mean think about it, 1000 years of torture and most of it he can't remember. He also has memories which are not his mixed with the memories he has. Shouldn't he be more brooding?
But then again this is a nice chapter.
7999383
Yer i suppose that's true.
7999373
And i completely agree.
Does anyone else ship him with Pinkie?
Also I think that Artemis and Spike would have a lot to talk abaut if ever became friends.
7999373 well he is suffering from massive trauma and that does cloud ones thinking. Let's give him some time and therapy and eventually I believe he will cut the strings himself.
I'm thinking artemis was a real pony...Maybe Luna's real twin brother?