• Member Since 10th Sep, 2016
  • offline last seen January 26th

Luna Bruce


Stay determined!

Sequels1

E

This story is a sequel to Ms. Moon (FNaN side story #1)


Welcome to your new job at Nightmare Moon's villain party place! Where Bronies and just people in general can meet their favorite My Little Pony villains! Hasbro Studios is not responsible for death or serious injury that may occur during your stay-I mean, I'm not saying anything bad will happen! It's just that ever since Nightmare's opened up, the animatronics have been acting rather odd around the costumers, and have started to roam during the night so you should keep an eye on them with your cameras that have been provided to you by the company.

-Phone "Mare"??? (Original line-thingy)


If anyone can make custom cover art for this fanfic, I'd really appreciate it if you give me a link to it in a comment. Thank you for reading this. :raritystarry:

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 35 )

I know that song:yay: Good work

I like how you put the song lyrics in

Is this where you want to be? I just don't get it! Why don't you come and play? Five Nights At Nightmares! (Now somebody make this a cover song!)

Oh, the song is being continued. Uh, maybe I shouldn't have put in my little bit on the last chapter...Oops!

7803454

Probably referring to the death of the little girl. Usely when somebody dies it's a bad thing. Don't worry about it, somebody had to die eventually

7803454 sorry i misread that where night mare moon said that it was the last straw. Good Story:yay:

7803993 I'll try and cover it once I get a mic. :pinkiesmile:

7804016 Who knows if she died or not. Probably it stopped there because the writer didn't want to continue it in the same fanfic. :trollestia: Also, Rachel isn't a little girl-wait-who are you talking about? Amy? Yeah, she died. :twilightsheepish:

Interesting concept, but the pacing is all worng. I know you're trying to point out the fact that in FNaF the time is all wired, which is OK, but you didn't let any suspense build.

The conversations where hard to follow. I suggest whenever someone new is speaking is to make it a new paragraph. Or at least make it more clear who's talking.

This was rushed. I know you were trying to finish it before 2017, but why? Is there a reason it needed to be finished before then? Or did you just do it just because you wanted a deadline?

No grammar issues I can see, thumbs up for that!

Overall, this was a nice little story. Not the best, but at least I was able to enjoy it! I can't wait to see what you've got coming next! You have now gained a new follower, please don't let me regret it.

7804055 I'll try and remember that for the sequel, and yes their will be a sequel. :trollestia: I wanted to get it approved before 2017 because it took place during that year and I wanted to make it futuristic. I also published a new blog post! :twilightsmile:

7804069

OK, that's a good reason.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to leave a couple of comments on stuff, then I'm off to bed.

Great story. I'm enjoying this.:pinkiehappy:

7809745 Thanks! What are your thoughts on it? :pinkiehappy:

7810487 I thought it was good for a first story. I saw some things that needed some work but you do have a lot of potential.:pinkiehappy:
Keep at it.

7810510 Thanks, and I will. :twilightsmile: I won't quit at writing just yet. :raritywink: I'm also in the process of writing a Christmas special chapter. :ajsmug: I'm going to publish it on Christmas day, so expect to see it then! :pinkiehappy:

Even in death, the children's souls celebrate christmas:yay: how nice:pinkiehappy:

7818932 In this reality, they're teens, but they ARE sorta still children though. :trollestia: I also tried to add some emotions to it.:pinkiecrazy: Did I succeed? :twilightsheepish:

7819538 Thanks. :twilightsmile: My original storyline was that they were throwing a Christmas party. The reasons why I chanced it was because: 1. The pacing was all wrong 2. It was cliche 3. The way it was presented was a little bit like a cheesy G.3 FNAF parody fanfic. :facehoof:

7819562 Thanks. You should refresh the page and read the author's note. :trollestia: (If you haven't already:twilightblush:)

This is a step up in terms of...Well, everything! You did a wonderful job! Merry Christmas!

Before I read it, what is the Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?

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