• Member Since 13th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen April 17th


Comments ( 19 )

Whoah... well... it had its funny points but this is actually pretty damn good. I wasn't expecting this to be so well written let alone be so... chill. Dang I like it dude, good work on this! I approve, and I loved how it started out, gave me a laugh, hahaha.

Nice job man, you've earned a favorite, a upvote, and this comment!
You're a good writer man, approved.

7644929 Thanks! That's really encouraging. I guess maybe I'll keep writing then. If...if you want, I mean. orig08.deviantart.net/9839/f/2015/203/9/4/fluttershy__i_m_sorry_by_spellboundcanvas-d92dtx6.png

What does inimicus mal mean in English?

7645025 "Inimicus" means "enemy" in Latin and "mal" means "bad" in Fancy. So Enemy Bad.

Neat one-shot
I like how there wasn't autism or poorly written prose

Well its really well written, better then some I've read involving RBA OC's. And I would love to read more of this character, but its up to you brosefski.

Keep up the good work, you're a good writer! :yay:

7645352 I don't have anything planned for him right now but he could be a good platform for experimenting with turning cringy/bad/lazy tropes into not-bad stories. Consider my suggestion box open; PM me if you ever think of anything. The worse the trope, the better.

Mmm... tropes? There's plenty, I'm sure there's plenty on TV Tropes or whatever, haha.
But if I think of anything, I'll throw something your way, hehehe.

7645751 Good! See that you do. >:)

Descriptive but never overly so. Giving just enough for the reader to see the world and it's characters without trying to make the world the main character. Each character has a personality all their own and the main showed quirk and traits as a real individual would. You obviously have some experience in IT and managed to keep true to it without overly complicating it for those who are not experienced. It felt real, like we were standing there watching it all happen. There are moments here and there where I couldn't help but smile, familiarity exists in here adding to its credibility. It was refreshing. Thank you so much for sharing & I cannot wait to read more <3

Hey! Pm-ed you on reddit a while back, and thought to check out your story. It's surprisingly good for what it is. I really didn't expect anything, especially when I read your long and short synopsis. I think you really could have sold this more. I know you're going for the whole subverting tropes thing with it, but it's a shame to hide something that's interesting and amusing like this under the guise of something banal. Nobody is going to want to read it f you do that! A quick pic, even a doodle, goes a long way as well. Hope your next thing gets more attention! This one certainly deserves more.

I have to wonder if the downvoter didn't read past the first horizontal rule. This is a good bait-and-switch, but... honestly, that's about it. It's well-written, but if you cut out the RBA element, I'd probably not like it nearly as much, considering the actual content is kind of generic and doesn't really lead to anything due to being a one-shot. But still, it's good for what it is: a bait-and-switch that attempts to use "bad" tropes in a good way.

Didn’t really expect to read something like this, but I think it was a pleasant surprise. One rather simple, but it made me laugh here and there, so I think you’ve done justice to the Comedy and SoL tags :twilightsmile: Thank you for this story!


I wish this little vignette went on to bigger things. Avoiding any major, life changing events in the MC's life leaves me feeling like I just looked through a peephole at a simulacrum of whatever might have been.

Honestly I just haven't been able to think of any more stories about him worth telling. If I do I'll certainly tell them, but maybe he deserves to be mediocre forever. That is the joke after all

Maybe, but there's nothing wrong with telling the story about the time he overcame mediocrity, unlocked his power and got the girl; if George McFly could do it, anyone can!

Ironically, that sounds really boring to me

It's less than the framework of a story, though. It's an end state; the journey can be any path you could imagine to get there.

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