Whoops.

“Did you just made that up?”

made -> make
Sorry.

7874858
You may be forgiven^^

Well this is interesting.
Pet-play ftw kek

7874901 well,this was a twist I didn't see coming. Octavia feels way too OOC now

7875456
What Character?`
We see 4 Showphases of her with none all too particular character development.

7875149 but what we have seen portrays her had a well-mannered pony that wouldn't be this commanding.
You didn't even flesh her out really. This chapter was out of left field honestly.

She went from straight, to unsure, to sex, to dominatrix. All in the span of a couple chapters. That's fine, but each change was just like "BAM"

You should have each change in her character and ideals come more gradually

7875474

There are ponies that have a sudden edge in personality.

Take me^^ I'm a rather nice and talkative one, but I can also be pretty bloody and forceful.
Just because you expect something calm and polite from the outside, doesn't mean the inside can't be a freak.

7875478 true but the whole dominatrix thing still came from left field from how the story was looking and progressing

7875510

I would react the same if somepony would find my whips and gags, honestly

7875514 I'd be more embarrassed than anything

Plus Vinyl doest really seem like the sub type. I feel like she's only doing it to make Octavia happy, regardless if she herself is happy or not

7875523
That's something that will come later^^

Mmm... not sure how I feel about the dominatrix thing to be honest...
Liking the story of course, but this came outta nowhere and, ehh... not my thing.

But I'll keep reading... for now.

Good work.

Well, that came absolutely out of left field. I know it's supposed to show a hidden side to them, but seriously, Vinyl does not seem like a sub, especially not that sudden, and Octavia does definitely not seem like an out-of-nowhere dominatrix. Granted, I'm also the sort of person for whom this sort of D/s stuff has always seemed to be rather silly and hard to imagine for me.

Here we go again!

Things are going to be wild from now on. xD

7875510
I always expect Octavia to be a dom whenever psp7master is involved, he has a thing for this I know. But there was a lot to Octavia that pointed to this happening. It might be because I myself am a bit of a pet amongst doms, but you can see hint of it in her. She is rigid, and demands stability and predictability in her life. She is secretive and organized, and she demands respect. She also has a soft spot, if only a small one, as seen when she punches Vinyl and instinctively wants to help her.
Octavia is a very good example of a dom. However the gay straight conflict was a bit tacked on...

It's too bad it was cancelled. I was reading this on my Kindle, and when the end came, I was like "What?" cuz I forgot this was cancelled. Good read though.

8290699

Sorry.
With some parts of my life changing and psp gone I can't continue
I tried, but it just went horrible.