Chapter 2: Start Of A New Eternity
A video that sums up the life of this story
In all seriousness I'm kinda ashamed how long this took, with the delays of N.B.O I felt like I owed some of my readers something. And remember give special thanks to deadman for putting up with my months of silence and helping me finish this in one week, couldn't have done it without you man.
Canterlot high, a modest and simple school that makes the happiness and safety of its students it’s top priority, and was well known for it’s focus on friendship and teamwork between students. But recent rumors of strange happenings have been spreading around, from sightings of monsters and even magic. Of course when people heard of said rumors, they admittedly dismissed it as nothing but tall tails and the overactive imagination of today's youth or the ramblings of overworked teachers.
”I have an hour before students start to show up,” thought Twilight as she observed the school in question from across the street. She had woken up early to leave, she woke up before her legal guardian to avoid Cadance, and her insistence on driving her to school. She didn’t need her asking why Twilight was so insistent on spending so much of her free time hanging around a school that was known to have a bitter rivalry with Crystal Prep. “Along with it being the area of regular explosions.”
The lavender skinned teen muttered to herself. She pulled her hoodie up as she walked across the crosswalk to the school grounds her attention grabbed by the horse statue in the center of the courtyard, she reached into her jacket giving the blank gaia memory a squeeze to comfort herself, she reached into her other pocket and pulled out her prototype energy reader. As soon as she turned it on the thing started vibrating like the phone of someone with a social live. As she got closer to it she squinted at it, seeing a cloudy reflection of herself.
”It’s no secret lab,but it's still odd.” She got closer to the apparent mirror hesitantly putting the tip of her finger to it pulling it back as it rippled. ”Scratch that much stranger than a secret lap, but still less strange than a flying train on a rainbow rail.”
Twilight jumped as the energy readers vibrations intensified as her reflection started to be blocked out by a growing shadow. She stepped back as the shadow grew and grew by the second making her energy reader freak out before the thing burst into flames. She dropped the thing and smashed the thing to pieces, silencing its vibrations and killing the flames.
“NNNEEEIIGGHH!” A distorted neigh resounded as a shadow horse erupted from the mirror the mirror, it knocked Twilight to the ground. The shadow horse let out a distorted huff as it looked down at Twilight, it raised its hoof ready to smash it down on the girl. Twilight threw up her arms to shield herself as the horse slammed its hoof into her chest but. The contours of where its face would be seemed to turn into a worried expression that matched Twilight’s, Its shadowy hoof started to be sucked into Twilight’s chest. The shadowy horse panicked letting out distressed neighs as more of its body was being sucked into her.
Twilight moved her hand to the where the shadowy construct was being sucked up, a smirk gracing her lips as she felt the gaia memory. “Seems the tables have turned.”
Twilight grabbed the blank memory and stabbed it into the horse's chest, she rose to her feet as the Horse panicked even more frantically, its torso was being sucked into the memory within a few seconds. The horse looked to her in fear as the memory starting absorbing its neck. Twilight only looked down at her former attacker her eyes lighting up as her mind ran ideas with the possibilities of what this being could offer in knowledge.
“Sorry I need some questions answered.” She pulled her hoodie back up as the shadowy being was swallowed entirely by her lucky charm. The formerly blank slate was now a black as night device, with a stylised purple “E” and “N”, with blue flames dancing around the letters.
“Hey what are you doing?!” Her smile dropped as she heard the familiar voice, a voice she heard from the many videos she had studied thoroughly throughout her investigation. Twilight broke out into a sprint as Sunset Shimmer got close to her. Easily getting across the street and by the grace of any higher power above a bus came in the time for a gasping and wheezing Twilight to jump on throwing money into the bus toll thanking the same higher power as the bus took off before Sunset shimmer could get close to it. As Sunset became a blur in the background Twilight took a breath of relief as she sat back into the bus seat clutching the memory as it shook and pulsed.
”Why did my parent’s technology absorb that thing?” She held it close as it’s vibrations started to die off. ”I need to investigate this.”
[A few hours later]
Twilight rushed through the halls of Crystal Prep which thanks to still early morning were practically empty. Rushing into her personal lab/broom closet, being the little sister in law to the dean truly had its perks having this abandoned room to her personal use. She took off her hoodie revealing her slightly wrinkled crystal uniform, followed by her pants she revealed revealed her ruffled skirt. Tossing both of them to the side without care she focused her attention on the still glowing gaia memory.
“How did Canterlot’s unknown energy take on that form?’ She held up the black gaia memory as it vibrated weakly in her hand. She sat down at her desk and faced her large computer, she placed her transformed charm on an old photo copier, a heavily modfied one made by her and placed the memory on it as she started to type commands into her computer, bringing up the energy signatures she had gathered over the years, the faint readings her equipment had detected from Canterlot high when it experienced one of its several explosions, the explosions Twilight had questioned her brother hundreds of times why they weren’t investigating them and when he just shrugged all it would do would infuriate her. Putting the memories of how annoying Shining armor could be sometimes aside for now, she focused on the energy signature on screen, each one a color of the rainbow. ”Okay Twilight, let's review what little I know of this energy, is its positively charge and weak separately, but the power combined is comparable to.....”
Twilight grumbled to herself as she recalled her memories of the chaotic streets of Futo being attacked by some empowered loser. ”An unrefined gaia memory.”
Her computer gave a notification as the new memory was done being scanned showing the results on screen. Twilight's eyes went wide in shock as she sat back in her chair seeing the new energy reading. “Negatively charged energy and on this scale, it's on bar with.....”
Memories of a white figure in a black cloak who had plunged Futo in hell flashed before her eyes.
“Now enjoy you’r hell!”
Those words still haunted her to this day, almost as bad as the memory of her parents death. Shaking her head from those stray thoughts Twilight put her focus back to her monitor. “Don’t think about those things right now,” she muttered as she took in every bit of data showing on screen. ”But this reading is through the roof.”
“Why would this kind of power be at a highschool of all places?” Twilight frustratedly ran her hands through her hair making it already messier than it already was, a headache starting to form as more and more questions were piling onto the mystery. Twilight jumped in surprise as her phone ringed suddenly. “What now?”
She took out her phone from her shirt pocket seeing a text from Cadence.
Cadence: Twily you at school?
After rubbing her temples she texted her sister in law back.
Twilight: Yes and I’m busy
She went to put the phone down only for it to ring again from another text.
Cadence: Sorry twily i tried to stop her
“Will Twilight sparkle please come to the principal office.” Cadence voice said over the intercom.
“Raah!” Twilight Grabbed both her phone and the memory stuffing each into her pockets. The memory gave off a little pulse glowing ominously alongside Twilight's eyes.
Principal Cinch didn’t flinch as her office door was opened and slammed shut. An angry Twilight Sparkle angrily stomped past the surprised Cadence and kicked the chair away glaring down at the older woman.
“What is it?” Cinch looked up at the glaring teenager and glared back at her.
“Pick up your seat and sit down.” Cinch commanded but Twilight just stood there, she clutched the gaia memory hidden in her pocket and in response it gave off a little pulse with both it and Twilight's eyes glowing ominously for a brief second.
“Fine.” Twilight picked up the chair and sat down in it begrudgingly. “So what do you want?”
“It’s about the friendship games-”
“I don’t want to participate end of story, bye.” Cinch’s eye started to twitch from frustration.
”What’s with this girl she’s usually quiet and mousy not this, no matter I’ll just use my trump card.”
“Please Twilight Sparkle I can make your participation worth it.”
“I doubt it.” She tried back up but Cadence made her freeze with a simple firm grip to her shoulder.
“Twilight what has gotten into you!” Cadence snapped making Twilight sit back down immediately stuttering and blushing embarrassed, putting on a scene that distracted the adults as she secretly reached for her phone in her pocket.
“I’m sorry I’m sorry..I don’t know what came over me!” Twilight bowed her head repeatedly to Cinch. ”Why...am I..getting so angry so easily?”
“It is rather early and the dean has told me of your...religious study habits, I can forgive this typical teenage outburst but I won’t forgive another, crystal prep students should not be typical.” Twilight just nodded as she screamed internally.
”Let me guess, cause of your reputation you old withered crone!” Twilight gave an awkward smile to Cinch who still kept up her stoic expression.
“Now then as I was saying, I have noticed your interest in the everton study program and my word holds a lot of power there, my recommendation will easily guarantee acceptance.” Cinch opened up a drawer from her desk pulling out a letter with the Everton symbol adorning one of its corners. “But my word can also hinder your acceptance so choose wisely.”
”That witch is trying to blackmail me, guess those rumors were true.” Twilight looked up to Cadence who was looking away ashamed. ”Not too hard a guess she’s doing the same to Cadence, Sorry Principal Cinch that was only a passing interest, I’ve moved on from everton.”
Cinch lost her stoic expression as she dropped the letter. “Excuse me?”
“I’m not interested in Everton anymore.” Twilight stood up again this time forcing herself to give a polite smile and nod to her principal. “Nor am I interested in the friendship games.”
“Perhaps something else could?” Cinch brushed her bangs to side in time to hide her nervous eye twitch from Twilight and Cadence. “Maybe-”
“No you lost any hope of me going when you blatantly bribed and blackmailed me.” Twilight kept up her kind smile as she showed her phone to the principal, the audio recording app open and active. Twilight pressed the stop recording button and saved it to her phone. “Which I recorded on my phone, which automatically saves it to my online data storage, so if you destroy my phone I still have it.”
Twilight sat up glaring down at Cinch a smirk forming on her lips as she looked into her Principals panic filled eyes. “We can negotiate-”
“No we can’t here’s the deal, you never threaten my academic career and Cadence’s career or I will email this to the school board, maybe even upload it to youtube just for kicks.” Twilight’s smirk grew with pride and gusto as the gaia memory gave another pulse in her pocket. “There are already plenty of rumors of you blackmailing students but now I can make it a fact, and destroy your oh so precious reputation, oh and for added measure I’m taking today off.”
Twilight turned before Cinch could respond, walking out the door with a flabbergasted Cadence in tow.
In the hall
“I can’t believe the arrogance of that decrypted old crone!” hissed out Twilight as she made her way down the hall, a hostile feeling coming off of her in waves, it forced her fellow students to move out of her way instead of their usual habit of knocking the poor girl around. ”To not only blackmail me, but to also threaten Cadence!?” Screamed her inner thoughts as she made her way to her locker. She nearly tore the door off its hinges when she yanked it open.
“Woah, everything ok SciTwi?” Twilight jumped and dropped the tex book she had picked up. A peach colored hand grabbed the book before it hit the ground.looking up from the arm Twilight was greeted by the smiling face of Indigo Zap.
“Yeah, just heading home early.”
“You sick or something.” Indigo patted the nerdy girls back knocking her off balance. “Last time you took a day off it was because it was Christmas.”
“Just feeling a little under the weather, I’m fine though.” Twilight replaced her textbooks with all her written and printed out notes of canterlot high, doing so hastily and messy. “I already turned in my homework for the next month, it’s not like I need today’s classes anyway.”
“Oh, Is little SciTwi going through a rebellious streak?” She gave a shit eating grin.
“I-it’s nothing like that!” Twilight said in defence.
“You can tell me if you're just ditching, I’d join you....if I didn’t have a math test.” Indigo Zap sighed and lost her grin. “Still we don’t hang out enough.”
“...Sorry.” Twilight blushed embarrassed and zipped up her backpack. “I’m a bad frie- acquaintance aren’t I?”
“Come on girl! You can call us friends!” laughed Indigo Zap. Twilight smiled genuinely before giving her a hug.
“I promise we’ll hang out this weekend.”
“Oh come on now don’t get too mushy.” muttered an embarrassed Inigo. A blush dusting her cheeks. Twilight took a glance of a shocked Cadence standing at the end of the hall and started to walk down the hall waving goodbye to her only friend.
“This weekend I promise!”
A few hours later
After a long bus ride through traffic and turning her phone off to avoid Cadences constant texts Twilight threw her vest along with the gaia memory to the floor and flopped down onto her bed face first.
“Uuuuuuggggghhhhhh!” Twilight groaned loudly as she rubbed her temples. She sat up and looked down at the gaia memory, it glowed faintly as it laid on the floor. Glaring at the object Twilight let out a low growl before getting up and started to pace around the room. “First I get incomplete data, then Cinch has the nerve to try and blackmail me and my big sister best friend forever, and now I have this weird gaia memory messing with my head!”
She grabbed the machine with her hand and clutched it until her hands turned bone white.
“Twilight,” whispered a faint voice. “Stop those girls, they’re just like the monsters who attacked Futo!”
“W-what?” asked the glasses wearing girl. Looking around frantically. “Who said that?”
”Use me girl, defend your home like the man who saved you did.”[/i[
“WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME TO FIGHT!?” Twilight screamed.
”Thos girls you’ve been watching, they have magic, horrible magic it's the start of an invasion.” Twilight let out a shuddered breath and then she reached under her bed and pulled out the silver briefcase with a black X on it.
“You're just some voice in my head, I’m finally losing my mind,” muttered the teen. She still opened the case and pulled out a red L shaped belt buckle device.
”No my girl, put that belt on and become truly sane, stop those girls!” Twilight slapped the lost driver too her waist and a silver metal belt wrapped around her waist. ”Let's go.”
“Yes, let's.” She put on her blue hoodie and walked out the door leaving the her phone behind as it silently buzzed.
13 missed calls from “BBBFF”
Canterlot High 3:25 pm
“Twilight?” asked a confused Sunset.
“Henshin,” Twilight clicked the Gaia memory and it shouted out, but instead of the typical computer male voice it instead shouted it in a sensual powerful womanly voice. ETERNAL NIGHT
She slammed the memory into the slot and flipped it down. Twilight screamed as purple flames and black smoke encased her body, her screams soon turned to manic laughter as two turquoise orbs shined through the smoke. “Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!”
“Guys I don’t know what that is, but it's not magic!” Sunset yelled over the booming laughter.
“All of you witness.” Everyone on the school ground stared as the smoke and lighting around her took form. Black body armor formed over her body, purple sleeves styled after the purple flames formed over her arms.
“Guys she’s transforming we need to tackle her now!” Rainbow yelled as blue wings magically appeared from her back. A blue bandolier formed over Twilight's chest as a trident crest of the same color grew on her new helmet.
“The birth of Kamen Rider Eternal Night!” She swiped Rainbow away with the newly formed ethereal cape of a starry knight sky. She then rushed towards the group smashing her fist into Rainbow’s gut. The athlete of the team let out a gasp of pain before collapsing to the ground.
“Kamen what?” Rainbow asked as she coughed out bile from her stomach.
“Kamen rider!” The newly christened Rider kicked the downed pegasus girl across the face. Rainbow’s jaw nearly broke from the force as she was sent flying into the school's flagpole.
“Question, how is a ninety pound girl able to kick Rainbow Dash around?” Applejack asked as she turned to her fallen friend, her wings and pony ears disappearing.
“105 actually,” Despite what she said with the suit on Twilight’s lack of physique was completely hidden, and even her gender was hidden by how thick the suit was.
“Please Twilight stop,” begged Fluttershy as she tried to approached the armored girl.
“Good to know this attack was well timed, because apparently you’ve all been spying on me!” Twilight reached out her hand and knife appeared in her hands. She haphazardly swung the knife at the animal lover. Fluttershy stepped out of the knife's range which cause Twilight to throw herself off balance granting Applejack the chance to grab the amaetur Rider in a neck hold. “Let go of me!”
Applejack ponied up as her hold grew tighter. She grabbed Twilight’s wrist and twisted it, forcing her to drop it. “So you got the power but can’t use it properly huh?”
“Calm down Twi!” yelled Pinkie Pie in a desperate tone. Her hair now completely straight.
“I don’t think that’s our Twilight.” Rarity whispered to them. “We should restrain her and ask questions.”
“Get off!” Part of her cape reformed into a whip and slapped Applejack across the face.
“Wrrraahhh!” Applejack screamed in pain as the whip drew blood, while recoiling in pain Applejack received a knee to her gut.
“I’m a not completely untrained.” A slap to the face from Eternal Night forced Applejack to the ground and out of her pony form.
“I could use some help!” Applejack yelled from the ground.
“Twilight enough!” Sunset tackled the Kamen Rider, she barely budged from the attack.
“How cute,” mocked Twilight before sensing a familiar presence.
“Enough!” Another figure tackled her, this one strong enough to knock her to the ground. “I don’t know who or what you are but I won’t let you hurt my students!”
Two blue fists feebly punched her helmeted face.
“Grrr, back. OFF!” screamed the masked girl as she pushed against the Luna, causing the Vice principal to go flying. “Enoguh-”
Twilight screamed has her suit started to become unstable. Her belt repeatedly stuttered Eternal Night as a black horse formed out of her chest plate. ”LLLLLLUUUUUNNNNNAAAAAAA!”
“I was not ready for today.” Luna rolled away from the horse’s grip.
“Get...back...inside!” Twilight shouted in between her screams. She grabbed the demonic horse with both arms and tried to forced it back into herself, her screams of pain becoming louder as it eventually re-entered her, despite it intense struggling.
“I think I know what power this is?” Sunset said as she saw the exhausted Kamen rider wheeze and huff after her suit returned to normal. “But Twilight told me she and her friends defeated her.”
Twilight grabbed her knife and pulled her gaia memory out of her belt. She shoved it into her new knife. ETERNAL KNIFE, MAXIMUM DRIVE! the knife extended into a sword with an ethereal blade made of the same material as her cape. Without a second word she shoved the sword into the ground creating a big flash and shockwave that knocked every student in the yard off their feet. When the flash ended only a black singed spot remained where Twilight once stood.
“That was awesome!” A random student yelled from the pavilion making Rainbow groan in annoyance.
“No it wasn’t.” Rainbow winced when she felt how bruised her back was.
“I agree.” Applejack winced as she felt the thin cut across her forehead.
“Was this another magical incident?” Vice Principal Luna asked as she helped Sunset Shimmer to her feet.
“I think, some of that was magic and something completely alien to us.”
Twilight stumbled into the bus and threw her bus fare into the chain catcher. over paying the fare by 3 dollars. Ignoring the concerned questions of the bus driver she sat in the back of the bus, she wiped away the blood from her nose and glared down at the gaia memory
“This requires further study.”
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Not bad, not bad at all. You have my attention.
This is just one example of a constant problem, but I almost for the life of me cannot tell which of the two characters in the scene other than Twilight said this line. This is what happens when you don't use dialogue tags while including actions by nonspeaking characters in dialogue paragraphs, everyone gets confused about who's actually talking. Either adding said tags early in the quotes (recommended) or moving other characters' actions into other paragraphs would solve this issue.
8499331
You really couldn't tell from Twilight speaking before this and her mentioning (Dean) Cadence that It was Cinch talking?
8499342
I said it was an example. And yes, when I stopped reading, looked back, analyzed the situation, and thought for a bit, then I could figure out who was speaking. Meanwhile, I could've spent all that time reading on and enjoying the story if the paragraph had made it more obvious who was talking in the first place. That's what's called "pulling a reader out of the story", something writers tend to try and avoid.
8499393
Thanks for the critique I'll pass it along to deadman, any other thoughts?
8499492
I'm really into the story beneath the words and want more, but said wording is acting as a bit of a barrier to enjoying it due to its noticeable sloppiness at times. It's a rather common thing I find myself saying on this site, and there's not a lot of detail to give without editing the story myself, so I apologize for my excessively high writing standards.
8499779
No it's good to have standards, and criticism can only make us better.
And sorry if I seemed rude earlier, it was like 1:00 am in the morning after 3+ hours of writing 2 essays.
8499841
Well, my comments were at 3am my time, though I'm surprisingly rather awake then.
8499857
College student, I'm almost never fully rested
8499860
Out of college, I slept 6 hours a night if lucky, and I'm nocturnal.
8499896
Preaching to the choir dude
"I am Twilight Sparkle! I will defend my friends, WITHOUT you!"
ETERNAL! MAXIMUM DRIVE!
"Nightmare Moon!" Twilight said as she made a thumbs down. "Enjoy your hell." She finished as she slashed the monster, making it burst into flames as it gave forboding final words.
AS LONG AS DARKNESS EXISTS, I EXIST. I AM THE NIGHT! I AM ETERNAL!
Will this continue?
Really curious on what will happen next.
Any plans for Spike too?
Where is he anyway?