Arial Blaze
Joined 30th May, 2014 ·
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I can only hope this is supposed to be a parody of "my immortal"
It looks like you had a great idea that failed to translate into a good story like one of mine did.... Pity because it's a great idea. You just needed to give it more thought and development....But I've read worse fanfics.
. Heck I've wrote worse.
... Also you might want to spellcheck.... 
I really hope this is a trollish joke. It is riddled with all kinds of spelling and other errors and makes about as much sense as sticking your dick in an outlet because you think it will give you the power to throw magma.
Shame. Concept is Ok, but execution is not Ok. If it was a parody, then I would understand, but since it's not, along with a TON of spelling mistakes, I have to give this a thumbs down.
7516241 Thanks for the feedback
7516347 Thanks for the comment!
7516252
7516478 You're Welcome. And I'm glad to know that you take criticism well.
taking it this just to piss off your 'Fellow Bronies', am I close or not? Why most of writers like yourself hate to edit or SPELLCHECK their own work?
7620531 I had a spell checker, but she turnedd oyt to be a bitchh soe I doumped her
So, this is obviously an attempt to make a troll fanfiction in the style of My Immortal. No offense author, but this "story" fails. I realize this is probably nothing more than a joke and you couldn't care less, but I have nothing better to do.
If your trying to write a bad fanfiction or a troll fiction you are going about it the wrong way. A bad fanfiction has grammar mistakes, but not too many. And it's relatively serious not in tone, but you can tell someone put some type of effort into it. It also walks a thin line between being hilariously bad and just another troll fiction. This doesn't do any of that. It's obvious this is a troll fiction, but there's no effort to it. It's too deliberate to be a bad fanfic and not silly enough to be a troll fanfiction.
7621049 im am trying!! your very rude but youlk see :)
There's nothing wrong with communism.
7622634 fuck u
This is a satire of My Immortal, right?