Down at the International Seabed Authority

by totallynotabrony

Legalese

"The International Seabed Authority is an autonomous international organization established under the 1982 United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea and the 1994 Agreement relating to the Implementation of Part XI of the United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea. The Authority is the organization through which States Parties to the Convention shall, in accordance with the regime for the seabed and ocean floor and subsoil thereof beyond the limits of national jurisdiction (the Area) established in Part XI and the Agreement, organize and control activities in the Area, particularly with a view to administering the resources of the Area," explained Diving Bell from memory.

Mr. Muller, the liaison visiting from the UN Headquarters in New York, blinked. "Ah…"

Sensing that she should perhaps not have directly quoted the ISA's textbook directive, Bell tried again. "We oversee the ocean floor outside of otherwise governed areas, usually defined as the world's Economic Exclusion Zones, which are in turn defined as the waters between two hundred and three hundred fifty nautical miles off a country's shores, depending on their claim."

"I am sorry," said Muller. "I grew up in Luxembourg, a landlocked country."

"Oh!" Bell blushed. "Then perhaps I can skip the intro and just go straight to the tour."

The ISA had a mostly rectangular building located at 14-20 Port Royal Street in Kingston. Bell wished the local pranksters would stop covering the "1" on the address sign. She guided the visitor past the palm trees in the circular driveway and the international flagpoles into building.

"What brings you to Jamaica?" she asked, guiding him across the wide, tiled entryway. Her hooves clicked on the floor.

"I am doing a survey of UN structures and properties in the Caribbean," Muller replied. After a moment, he added, "What brings a pony to Earth?"

"I was appointed to represent Equestria at the ISA," Bell said. "Since Equestria doesn't have any sea claims on Earth, my role here is relatively moot. So, I've sort of become the designated meet 'n greeter. Also the coffee maker. And deep submergence expert."

Muller took out a notebook and began to do his job, examining the building itself. "So you deal with buildings?" Bell asked.

"That's right. I was a structural engineer before joining the UN. This job does not pay as well, but the travel is much better. And you?"

"I've always loved the water." Bell said. "I've always thought it was incredibly freeing to be out away from land. I find the bottom of the ocean more intriguing than the surface of the moon. I’ve learned that many scientists here do too."

"Plus, in international waters, one can have monkey knife fights," Muller laughed.

"That's not..." Bell shook her head. "Who would do that?"

"I am sorry, it was a joke, a reference to a TV show," said Muller, quickly backpedaling.

"Oh. I'm still catching up on that since moving here," said Bell. "I've been a little too busy to watch TV, though. There's so much to explore, a whole new planet."

"I'm glad you're getting out and about," said Muller. "Everyone in the UN runs the risk of becoming a stuffy bureaucrat."

"The people in the office say something about how the UN is the highest court in the known universe and to get here you have to be 'born to be a bureaucrat.'"

"I thought you didn't watch TV," said Muller.

"What does this have to do with monkey knife fights?"

"Nevermind." Muller changed the subject. "What can you tell me about these lines in the floor tile?"

"It's symbolic. These represent areas of responsibility." Bell pointed them out. "The first one represents twelve nautical miles from shore. That's a country's Territorial Waters. They set their own laws and can control who is allowed enter."

Bell moved on. "This second line is the Contiguous Zone, twenty four nautical miles out. Inside this area, a country can still enforce its own laws.

"Over there is the Exclusive Economic Zone, which extends 200 nautical miles from shore. The EEZ is an area where that country has exclusive right to natural resources. Only that country is allowed to fish, drill for oil, or participate in other moneymaking activities.

"And the last line is for the Continental Shelf. The laws get tricky out there. The line extends to either 200 nautical miles from shore or where the continental shelf drops off, whichever is greater. The zone is not to exceed more than 350 nautical miles from shore and is not to exceed 100 nautical miles past where the water depth reaches 2,500 meters. A country has sole mineral rights there, but not fishing rights."

Seeing the glazed look in Muller's eyes, Bell quickly added, "But that's not really important because the ISA only deals with the seabed outside those zones."

"So when you pull out your badge, you tell perpetrators that your authority begins 200-350 nautical miles offshore." Muller grinned. "It's funnier to think of that line coming from a Jamaican pony."

"We have one of the largest jurisdictions of any organization in the world, but we don't have badges," Bell said. "And I told you, I barely watch TV. That's hardly going native."

Muller chuckled. "That's fine. I've never talked to an Equestrian before. It's more interesting this way."

He made a few more notes. "That is all I needed. Most inspections do not take long. Can you recommend a good place for lunch?"

"I'll go with you," said Bell. "When I first moved here, I learned the hard way that grass isn't always grass."

Author's Note:

Written in honor of the UN Permanent Court of Arbitration's recent decision regarding competing Law of the Sea claims and also in honor of the opening of the 22nd annual session of the International Seabed Authority.

Comments

[Super Trampoline]

As opposed to Diving Bellei.ytimg.com/vi/rFl9kCOgqg4/hqdefault.jpg (which would be more SS&E's department.

[Super Trampoline]

On a more serious note, I feel like this barely qualifies as pony enough right now just because of how short it is. I mean, you could replace Diving Bell with a human who doesn't watch much TV and the result would be the same.

Also, does Diving Bell know about the human submarine Celestia found in Equestria? ( going to have to doublecheck I am remembering the right story)
EDIT: yeah, I remembered correctly: Deep

[karl]

LOL, this was low-key, but funny. I guess every news story has to trigger something Pony. Good work!

[Themaskedferret]

Pfft, gotta admit, her discovery of the different types of grass sounds quite amusing. A bit dry but quite informative.

[Profesionalac]

You wrote this whole story just to say that ending line, didn't you?