What's up my fellow bronies? I'm gonna be posting some FiM fics on here real soon so just be on the lookout. A brohoof to all y'all /)
Rarity gets invited to a fashion show from an old friend, she's all excited but the only thing she needs in order to be there is an assistant to which she asks Twilight if she can borrow Spike. Much will ensue on the way and at the fashion show...but what?
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Yeah bro, hmu if ya need any info or something.
Sick start
ahhahhahahahhah its really groooove !!!!!! XD i hope to see da next chap very soon !!!!!!!!
789325 You got it brony /)
789471 I'm typing chapter 2 now
789096 Thanks, Sparity is my fav couple
792217 Thanks :)
hhmmmm, this reminds me about Heart of Scales
823544 That was kind of an inspiration...except my story is going to have a different twist and probably a sequel, idk yet
This was an alright chapter. Very well-written chemistry between Spike and Rarity.
One thing that's been bothering me though is your punctuation. You sparsely use periods and you never use quotes to end your quotes. I'd recommend working on that a little bit. But other than that, this fic looks like it could be promising.
Lets see, you hardly ever used punctuation, you broke single sentences into paragraphs again, you still have a ton of repetitive and/or useless information, you don't seem to understand how to use a comma or a conjunction, and you committed the abomination of having the narrator speak to the reader. Here I thought you said this was going to be cleaner and better then the first chapter. Guess I read that wrong.
I'm fully aware your going to delete this comment, you did last time after all. The good news is I can actually spot a lost cause, and as such won't be wasting my time anymore.
P.S.: Loved how you apologized for coming off like a tool last time I tried to help you, and then deleted my comments.
823544 Yea, if Heart of Scales wasn't a excellent fic maybe.
789096>>789325>>789471>>792217>>823661 I suggest you all read these three stories Curse of The Werepony, For the Ones we Love, and The Dragon and the Pony. They're all extremely different Sparity Fics written by three very talented writers. However each of them has a truely sick start, creates or shows the chemistry amazingly, and has proper grammar usage.
824914
Is there a reason you're being so harsh here? Apart from the punctuation errors, I like how this fic is going so far.
825430 Yep. I pointed out a few errors last chapter, and I was very nice about it too. At which point he told me that instead of taking the 30 secs to fix them, he would rather have it full of errors. He also said he was going to do "better" this chapter. He did worse, and he deleted my original nice constructive criticism. So now I'm not holding back. The concept is good, but if he insist on being arrogant enough to claim his mistakes some kind of gold instead of fixing them, then I'm not gonna pull any punches. If he needs a harsh bitch slap to get him to try harder and do better, then bitch slap it is.
825618 damn umad bro? I deleted them because I was in a foul mood but you contradicted yourself when I stated that I was happy with what I had you said you respected it. Like I said bro just let it go trust me I've seen worse writing sheesh!
To each is his own
825618 Also I'm guessing that thumbs down was from you? It's alright though because I don't care I appreciate all the criticism but still harsh, jeez I deleted them because I had a bad day don't crucify me over it :/
826056 I respected the creative difference which is a matter of style. Bad grammar isn't style it's just bad grammar.
It's like this.Ass Hat's fic. All these people are trying to help this guy and he just tells um to fuck off that he's the greatest shit ever and that the community should fucking bend over for him.
Same thing I'm trying to help you be good at this and your telling me no. Punctuation at the end of a sentence is not a style difference, single sentences should not be separate paragraphs, and capitalizing names and the first word of each sentence are basic rules. Notably I don't think you committed the last one but they're examples.
826056 You read Eternal. One of the first comment I got on there were two 300+ word comments pointing out every error, telling me how I fucking suck, and every concept in it was the most miserable piece of shit ever. I fixed every error, told the guy to go fuck himself, and deleted his comments. But I fixed every single grammar mistake he pointed out. I was nice and pointed out errors to fix, to help you. I like the concept but fucking up and claiming its gold is bad practice as a writer and a person. I have a proofreader for 3 of my 4 fics. Eternal is self edited and comment edited only however. Every time I get a comment from a reader that points out a mistake I made and tells me how they loved the chapter or story, I'm fucking walking on sunshine. Those are the comments a true author strives for. Not you rock or more, but comments that tell us what they really think of the plot and that aim to help us improve.
827753 But what killed me is how you label me as arrogant by not taking your advice, bro I've written before and I've given advice to people before and there are those who didn't take it but you know what? I don't care and besides why do you care? It's not like you wrote it or anything.
827816 look if it'll make you happy I'll try and fix em when I can, okay happy now?
827824 Because when you refuse to fix small errors that would improve the story so much, a good concept gets fucked. And I want this to be good because the idea is fan-fucking-tastic. But refusing to take advice for the sake of refusing to take advice is arrogant.
827849 look bro like I've said before I've given people advice before and they've refused it but I don't label them arrogant if someone refuses my advice I just shrug it off.
827872 On story direction they're not but on grammar which is simply right or wrong. Well, yea... I'm glad you're deciding to take the effort honestly. It shows this wasn't a loss cause in trying to help. Restored some faith in writers lately.
827892 *cough* you're, not your
827907 Yea my proofreader gets me on that all the time
828155 well, if you don't mind if you could be my proofreader? Just if you do that for me can you just do one other thing for me? If someone refuses your advice, don't be anal about it. Just shrug it off and let the day go forward. So hope you get back soon, good night.
i11.photobucket.com/albums/a185/pensivepine/mlp_brohoof-1.jpg
828387
828397 But not shrugging it off got you interested in doing it right didn't it? If I didn't like this, I wouldn't have bothered. The fact of the matter is to many good idea's are getting wasted because people don't want to go all the way. I'll do the first 2 but I suggest you find a real proofreader/editor I have to much to write at the moment to be someone else's assistant. The good news is that there is a whole group full of people who want to be proofreaders and editors. Looking for Editors group
I didn't even bother with Ass Hat. I turned him towards the group and he actually told me he wasn't like everyone else he was better. At which point I just let him go down in the flames of his own ego.
I freaking love this fic.
every time I finish I facehoof myself for going too fast
yay !!!!!!!!!!! awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee n.n !!!!! pleasee more chaps !!!!!! :DD