A Show in Manehattan

by Brony_Prototype

Preparing

Spike and Rarity were heading to the Carousel Boutique to get ready for the big fashion show, Rarity had a few ideas

for what she have Spike wear but she was clueless to what she'd wanna wear.

“I can't wait for this fashion show, everypony who's everypony will be there!” said Rarity excitedly

“I can't wait because I've always wanted to visit the big city of Manehattan” replied Spike

When they got there Rarity unlocked the door and entered the boutique, as it was before still a mess!

“Spike I do hope you'll pardon the appearance” said Rarity embarrassed

“I don't mind it at all Rarity” replied Spike

“Good, first we need your measurements...now hold still” said Rarity

Rarity had gotten out some measuring tape to take Spike's measurements , she measured his arms and his legs, his waist and neck sizes and everything...well not exactly everything...Oh get your mind out of the gutter!

“Alright perfect, I'll be right back” said Rarity as she was going to fix up a blazer for Spike

“Sweet” Spike thought to himself

Now making a blazer was pretty easy for Rarity especially a small one for Spike which wouldn't require much fabric and such. She was hard at work making that blazer, sewing and stitching and such and making sure every seam was perfect...and with Rarity's skills it was! After a few hours passed Rarity had finished Spike's suit, she had made him a black blazer which came with a purple shirt and green tie.

“Well Spike it took a while but here, try it on” said Rarity as she handed Spike the blazer

Spike entered the dressing room and put on the shirt and blazer but there was one problem...he couldn't tie his tie.

“Um...Rarity?” asked Spike

“What is it darling?” asked Rarity sweetly

“It's just that...I can't tie a tie” said Spike embarrassed

“Oh don't worry about that, hold on” said Rarity

Rarity's horn lit up and she used a little magic to tie Spike's tie in a classy Windsor knot, to which Spike was impressed, heck he even went in front of a mirror to check himself out!

“Hey there, what this? Something Rarity cooked up...yeah that's right! Not only is she pretty but the clothes she makes are awesome” said Spike talking to his reflection

Rarity chuckled a bit at Spike but she was happy nonetheless that Spike was happy, now it was Rarity's turn. She had a few dresses in mind but she didn't know what to wear but at least she had Spike to help her pick.

“Oh assistant” said Rarity in a sing-song voice

“Yes Rarity?” asked Spike

“I'm going to try on a few dresses, I want you to tell me which one looks best and the others we'll just bring for the show” said Rarity

“Sure thing Rarity!” said Spike excitedly

“Alright, I'll be right back” said Rarity

Rarity had gone into the other room to try on a dress for the show, it took her about a good five minutes but she got the first dress on, it was a light blue dress with red ribbons and a few diamonds at the bottom with light blue shoes to match.

“How's this one?” asked Rarity

Spike's jaw hit the floor, to him it didn't matter what she wore because in Spike's eyes Rarity was the most beautiful pony in Ponyville.

“It looks good, but I don't like the color too much” said Spike

“Alright, I'll go try on another” said Rarity

Rarity went back into the room to change out of the dress she had on and changed into another one, this time it was a crimson red dress only this dress had golden beading and white ribbon and came with a matching red hat and red shoes.

“How about this one?” asked Rarity

“It's nice but...I think the hat is a bit excessive” said Spike

“I do agree, thank you Spike...I may go with this one because I like the red with the gold ribbon and ruffles” said Rarity

“OK...even though you didn't really need me because you look beautiful in anything” said Spike smiling

“Oh Spikey-wikey you are just too sweet!” said Rarity as she gave Spike a kiss on the cheek

It was settled, both Spike and Rarity had what they were going to wear and Rarity then knew what she was going to bring to the show. She had a few dresses lined up already.

“Alright Spike, I want you to go back to the library and get a good night's sleep because I want you here early because it is a long train ride from here to Manehattan” said Rarity

“Sure thing Rarity” said Spike as he headed off

“Be sure to take extra special care of that blazer” said Rarity

“Don't you worry Rarity” said Spike as he headed towards the door

“Spike...wait, come here” said Rarity

“What do you need?” asked Spike

“Well...I just wanted to say thanks again” said Rarity as one more time she kissed him on his cheek

“Aw gee, Rarity” said Spike as he blushed, his legs felt numb and he felt like he was on cloud nine

Spike left to the library as Rarity went to finish up that dress she was making despite having no gold ribbon but it was okay, she still had another three days to add the final touches on it. When Spike had gotten back to the library, Twilight had noticed Spike in his snazzy new blazer that Rarity had made for him.

“Wow Spike, looking spiffy” said Twilight

“Thanks Twilight, I'm going to turn in a little early because I'm kinda tired and Rarity wants me up early” said Spike as he went upstairs

“Sleep well Spike” said Twilight

Spike had unbuttoned his blazer, untied his tie and unbuttoned his shirt and folded them neatly and put them on a dresser, he then got in his bed and got under his blanket and went to sleep.

(A/N) Hey fellow bronies, there went chapter 2...many apologies for it being almost a week late but I had the dreaded writer's block but I today I heard that song “All Night Long” by Lionel Richie and it inspired me a little bit and inspired future chapters in the story. So until next time my fellow bronies /)

Comments

[Vidaldas]

hhmmmm, this reminds me about Heart of Scales

[Brony_Prototype]

823544 That was kind of an inspiration...except my story is going to have a different twist and probably a sequel, idk yet

[The Rarispy]

This was an alright chapter. Very well-written chemistry between Spike and Rarity.

One thing that's been bothering me though is your punctuation. You sparsely use periods and you never use quotes to end your quotes. I'd recommend working on that a little bit. But other than that, this fic looks like it could be promising.

[Path_of_cloud]

Lets see, you hardly ever used punctuation, you broke single sentences into paragraphs again, you still have a ton of repetitive and/or useless information, you don't seem to understand how to use a comma or a conjunction, and you committed the abomination of having the narrator speak to the reader. Here I thought you said this was going to be cleaner and better then the first chapter. Guess I read that wrong.

I'm fully aware your going to delete this comment, you did last time after all. The good news is I can actually spot a lost cause, and as such won't be wasting my time anymore.

P.S.: Loved how you apologized for coming off like a tool last time I tried to help you, and then deleted my comments.

823544 Yea, if Heart of Scales wasn't a excellent fic maybe.

789096>>789325>>789471>>792217>>823661 I suggest you all read these three stories Curse of The Werepony, For the Ones we Love, and The Dragon and the Pony. They're all extremely different Sparity Fics written by three very talented writers. However each of them has a truely sick start, creates or shows the chemistry amazingly, and has proper grammar usage.

[The Rarispy]

824914
Is there a reason you're being so harsh here? Apart from the punctuation errors, I like how this fic is going so far.

[Path_of_cloud]

825430 Yep. I pointed out a few errors last chapter, and I was very nice about it too. At which point he told me that instead of taking the 30 secs to fix them, he would rather have it full of errors. He also said he was going to do "better" this chapter. He did worse, and he deleted my original nice constructive criticism. So now I'm not holding back. The concept is good, but if he insist on being arrogant enough to claim his mistakes some kind of gold instead of fixing them, then I'm not gonna pull any punches. If he needs a harsh bitch slap to get him to try harder and do better, then bitch slap it is.

[Brony_Prototype]

825618 damn umad bro? I deleted them because I was in a foul mood but you contradicted yourself when I stated that I was happy with what I had you said you respected it. Like I said bro just let it go trust me I've seen worse writing sheesh!

To each is his own

[Brony_Prototype]

825618 Also I'm guessing that thumbs down was from you? It's alright though because I don't care I appreciate all the criticism but still harsh, jeez I deleted them because I had a bad day don't crucify me over it :/

[Path_of_cloud]

826056 I respected the creative difference which is a matter of style. Bad grammar isn't style it's just bad grammar.

It's like this.Ass Hat's fic. All these people are trying to help this guy and he just tells um to fuck off that he's the greatest shit ever and that the community should fucking bend over for him.

Same thing I'm trying to help you be good at this and your telling me no. Punctuation at the end of a sentence is not a style difference, single sentences should not be separate paragraphs, and capitalizing names and the first word of each sentence are basic rules. Notably I don't think you committed the last one but they're examples.

[Path_of_cloud]

826056 You read Eternal. One of the first comment I got on there were two 300+ word comments pointing out every error, telling me how I fucking suck, and every concept in it was the most miserable piece of shit ever. I fixed every error, told the guy to go fuck himself, and deleted his comments. But I fixed every single grammar mistake he pointed out. I was nice and pointed out errors to fix, to help you. I like the concept but fucking up and claiming its gold is bad practice as a writer and a person. I have a proofreader for 3 of my 4 fics. Eternal is self edited and comment edited only however. Every time I get a comment from a reader that points out a mistake I made and tells me how they loved the chapter or story, I'm fucking walking on sunshine. Those are the comments a true author strives for. Not you rock or more, but comments that tell us what they really think of the plot and that aim to help us improve.

[Brony_Prototype]

827753 But what killed me is how you label me as arrogant by not taking your advice, bro I've written before and I've given advice to people before and there are those who didn't take it but you know what? I don't care and besides why do you care? It's not like you wrote it or anything.

[Brony_Prototype]

827816 look if it'll make you happy I'll try and fix em when I can, okay happy now?

[Path_of_cloud]

827824 Because when you refuse to fix small errors that would improve the story so much, a good concept gets fucked. And I want this to be good because the idea is fan-fucking-tastic. But refusing to take advice for the sake of refusing to take advice is arrogant.

[Brony_Prototype]

827849 look bro like I've said before I've given people advice before and they've refused it but I don't label them arrogant if someone refuses my advice I just shrug it off.

[Path_of_cloud]

827872 On story direction they're not but on grammar which is simply right or wrong. Well, yea... I'm glad you're deciding to take the effort honestly. It shows this wasn't a loss cause in trying to help. Restored some faith in writers lately.

[Brony_Prototype]

827892 *cough* you're, not your

[Path_of_cloud]

827907 Yea my proofreader gets me on that all the time

[Brony_Prototype]

828155 well, if you don't mind if you could be my proofreader? Just if you do that for me can you just do one other thing for me? If someone refuses your advice, don't be anal about it. Just shrug it off and let the day go forward. So hope you get back soon, good night.
i11.photobucket.com/albums/a185/pensivepine/mlp_brohoof-1.jpg
828387

[Path_of_cloud]

828397 But not shrugging it off got you interested in doing it right didn't it? If I didn't like this, I wouldn't have bothered. The fact of the matter is to many good idea's are getting wasted because people don't want to go all the way. I'll do the first 2 but I suggest you find a real proofreader/editor I have to much to write at the moment to be someone else's assistant. The good news is that there is a whole group full of people who want to be proofreaders and editors. Looking for Editors group

I didn't even bother with Ass Hat. I turned him towards the group and he actually told me he wasn't like everyone else he was better. At which point I just let him go down in the flames of his own ego.

[Pegasus Lightning]

I freaking love this fic. every time I finish I facehoof myself for going too fast

[AL]

yay !!!!!!!!!!! awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee n.n !!!!! pleasee more chaps !!!!!! :DD