Alicorns, where did they come from? The Three Pony Tribes had founded Equestria and not once was a Alicorn mentioned. Not even Celestia nor Luna knows where they came from, everypony thought they were the first Alicorns but now everything is put into question when Luna is called to overlook some old ruins. Hidden deep within them lies a shattering truth that just adds too many questions, who is this new Alicorn?
Why was he imprisoned? Is he telling the truth or playing the two sisters for fools? As time unlocks a war that predates the royal sisters, the race to solve the mystery and save their very land is on. But the further they go in stopping the war from truly restarting, the more it seems to get out of their control and it's up to Princess Luna, to decide whose side is truly the right path.
NOTICE:I am rewriting the past chapters to fix spelling errors and plotholes, so I hid the other chapters until their rewritten and fixed. Fear not just look at my DA (linked in every updated chapter) if you want to see the old versions.
ahahahaa I see what you did there with that title.
You used my name, I feel important
Well not my full name but hey, I'm ok with it I guess.
772996
i dont.
oh and,
MOAR
flamesnation.ca/uploads/Image/moar.jpg
a few errors here and there, most noticeable are when you use "an" usually you use "an" before a word that has a vowel as the first letter, for example:
an occupation,
you use "a" before words that have consonant for example:
"An...statute?" it should be "A...statute?"
otherwise great story, looking forward to more
ill give this story a go show me what your made of
It's the home of the Six
whose hearts protect civilization
Celestia may raise the sun
But the little ones rule the nation
It's understood that Ponyville
Sells Alicornication
Remember, grammar is your friend. You need to extend the storyline, make everything about the Alicorns more mysterious and for Celestia's sake, you're advancing the plot too quickly.
773323
*clap clap clap clap
Bravo sir, bravo
Is it "Alicorncation" or "Alicornication"? Says both in the title + description. Anyway, going to start reading now.
Very good potential. I look forward to seeing how this will turn out.
i found multiple errors such as the way you used an to much and a few other things besides this is turning into a great story
This is getting crazy time to party
Ponies don't have guns
And shadow is being a gary sue just by the way he acts
Other than that this is going along nice and smoothly
YAY new chapter
>>Bookmaster
Oops sorry, hopefully the next chapter won't. Which chapter was it?
The Story is advancing to getting somewhere good keep it up
Your story is not dead good sir.
Also I haven't finished reading all your chapters yet. Trying to write my own story, networking with other authors and everything else have kept my hooves awfully full.
Don't give up until the end.
>>Hydra
Oh trust me I won't. XD
"Sincing one's feelings," "I see his plan didnt failed" multiple errors... I'm sorry but I can't read this. I gave it a shot, maybe get a proofreader to go through it.
>>Art of Shadow
OK, btw could you at least try the next chapter? It should be better then the otthers.
1739132 You shuldn't use >>(username) to reply. The random numbers send a notification to the user that someone replied to their comment.
1954242
OH OK, I thought by adding their names they'll know who I was talking too.
1954334 if you refresh the page, it should show their names in blue.
1954348
AH that's how it works?
1954468 Glad to help. I'm going to get back to work now. My boss is giving me the stink eye
*Reading the description* "Mhm. MmMm. MMHMM!