• Published 12th Jul 2012
  • 8,334 Views, 487 Comments

Stuck In Equestria - VaporingRat



A human travels to Equestria in a DeLorean and causes all sorts of mischief.

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Eternal Night: A Nerdy Purple Unicorn Appears! D:

So, quite a lot of stuff happened leading up to the celebration thing. I could go into detail, but there has been so much pointless stuff so I'm going to give a quick account leading up to the library to start off.

First off, after I had woken up and corrected a certain Unicorn, I got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. You can tell that the day is going to be bad when the only thing for breakfast is toasted brown bread, which I have a strong dislike for. But, despite the fact that I can be childish at times, I do respect others and I can be quite the gentleman when I want to. So I just ate the damn toast and drank lots of milk.

So now I had nothing to do; Octavia had gone to practise her... violin? I can't tell, and I've given up on trying to understand how a pony can play a string instrument. Vinyl had gone upstairs to work on her record breaking project, so I decided that it might be a good idea to look around the town, and maybe do something with the library. I grabbed my coat and left, and as soon as I had left the house of the musical ponies, I almost ran straight into another pony, the one called Rarity. Much like my mum when I forgot to shower for a week, she started to moan about how my clothes are dirty, how I smell bad, and how my hair looked like it hadn't seen some shampoo for months... like good ol' ma.

It was Rarity's moaning about my well maintained hygiene that gave me the idea. She seemed like a total clean freak, so I asked her if I could borrow some cleaning supplies. "Why do you need cleaning supplies?" She had asked. I told her that I wanted to clean the library that doubled as my temporary home while I get things sorted out. End result: she almost died from horror.

Turns out that I was right: she is a clean freak, and a hardcore one too. She hates dirt and grime with a passion and cleaned her shop/house combo regularly, in case the dust ruined her complexion.

So we armed ourselves and went to tackle the library...


"Look at the state of this place!" Rarity complained as she put a hoof into the building that belonged on grimebusters. "It looks like it hasn't been cleaned in ages!" She also entered wearing the equivalent of latex gloves on her hooves, except they covered her hooves and weren't gloves...

"Looks similar to my bedroom in a way, except this place has some serious moss issues," I comment as I duck through the door and into the library.

"Well, a little spot of cleaning and it'll be good as new!" Rarity said enthusiastically as she started hacking at a patch of moss on a bookshelf with a paint scraper, levitating it with her telekinetic powers. I placed down the bucket of hot water and prepared to scrub the floor down with some cloth. We were at it for a good half an hour, but with little success.

"Declan, why are you standing there staring at that patch of grime?" rarity asked as she noticed my lack of activity and came over to look at me.

"Watch this," I say as I point to the patch of grime, a damp cloth in my right hand. I crouch down, and scrub furiously at the grime, which vanishes in an instant.

"I don't see..." Rarity began, but trailed off as she watched the grime grow back.

Reappearing mould: a clean freak's worst nightmare.

What caught me off guard is that Rarity facepalmed- no, facehooved at the grime, before realising she had just put a grime covered latex hoof cover on her face and went into an 'icky' fit that lasted for a minute until she used her powers to blast the grime off of her.

"Oh I know what the problem is!" She said in relief. "The library's magic source has run dry and needs replenishing."

"'Scuse me? Magic source?" I ask in confusion. Is this their way of saying electricity?

"Every building has one. It fills it with light, provides clean water with both hot and cold, and keeps it mostly clean! I remember when the one in the Carousel Boutique ran dry and covered the place in dust. Oh it was dreadful! But a very nice Unicorn came round from the Board of Magical Maintenance in Canterlot to replenish it," Rarity explained to me.

"So, this magic thingy needs your superhero powers to power it again?" I ask in confirmation, hoping I was understanding what she was saying.

"Indeed, but unfortunately, my magic is far too weak to perform such a daunting task. And besides, I just got my horn pampered. I doubt that the BMM would send somepony over with the Summer Sun Celebration so close, so you'll have to find somepony in town who can," Rarity explained even further. I thanked her for the help and she left, saying that she had to make sure that Pinkie didn't ruin the decorations for the Summer Sun Celebration thingie.

So I left the library and started looking for a Unicorn with super powers, and noticed that there were a lot of normal ponies around. Maybe the other types are a minority? Or are they just born weirdly? Anyways, I looked around town for about half an hour, and not one Unicorn was to be seen, but I did get the odd feeling that I was being followed...

And I'm being paranoid again. Moving on!


"Vinyl, can you help me with something please?" I asked the white Unicorn as I entered her room back in the house she owns with Octavia. I had decided that Vinyl could help me, cos she has TK powers. Plus she is the only Unicorn I know so...

"Sure, what's up?" Vinyl answered as she pushed her purple shades up above her eyes with said TK powers and turned away from her project to face me.

"I need your powers to help power the library," I said simply. "That is, if your magic is powerful enough. Not that I'm implying that you're weak and all but-"

"Chillax dude, I'll help. My magic's powerful enough to power something. What do you think I'm using for this beast?" Vinyl tapped the giant speaker with her rear hoof to enforce her point.

With Unicorn in tow, I made the small trip back to the library.

We arrived to find that the interior looked like that me and Rarity hadn't even made a dent in cleaning it. Even worse, the cleaning supplies that were left behind seemed to have vanished.

"Okay, where's the spot I need to zap?" Vinyl asked me as we walked into the centre of the library foyer.

"Zap? Uhh, I don't know. What does it look like?" Hmm, should've asked Rarity that before she left.

"It's some kind of crystal, usually in the basement or something."

"I don't think this place has a basement..." I point out.

"Attic?"

"It's a tree."

"Can't help ya then," she stated simply before turning round and started to walk out...

...Until the floor gave way and she plummeted into the library's basement. I immediately rush over to the hole in the floor and look down to try and spot Vinyl Scratch.

"Are you okay?!" I call down with worry. What if she broke a bone due to the fall? What if she's... dead?!

"That was AWESOME!" Vinyl exclaimed from the pile of rotten wood and dust she was in at the bottom of the hole. Yep, she's fine. I sigh in relief and backed away from the hole.

"Dude, you've got to come down here!" Vinyl called up to me.

"I'm okay, I'll just stay up here," I reply from above. I'm not too keen on going down there, it could be dangerous, and there's no obvious way back up.

"C'mon Dec, it's not that bad," Vinyl tried to reassure me, before adding slyly "or are you a chicken?"

"I'm not a chicken!" I shot back in defiance as I approach the edge of the hole. "Fine, I'm coming down, but if I die down ther- woah!" The floor at the edge gave way and I plummeted down into the library's basement, landing right on top of an unsuspecting Vinyl Scratch, who was just getting out of her own debris pile.

Turns out that ponies are soft. Really soft.

"Ow..." I groan in slight pain. I was lying on my back on top of Vinyl's back, I think. "You okay back there?"

"Yeah, I'm cool," Vinyl said from under me. I attempted to push myself up with my hands, but one of them accidently connected with Vinyl's face. "Hey! Watch the shades!"

"Sorry!" I apologise as we slowly pick ourselves up. We finally got ourselves sorted and started to survey our surroundings, which seemed to be a portion of stone hollowed out under the library, with the tree roots skirting down the walls like veins. In the centre of it though was a small stone pedestal with a grey crystal hovering over it, which what had caught our attention.

"Dude, that's it!" Vinyl said excitedly as she pointed at the crystal.

"That's the thing that powers this whole place?! That's just some silly rock!" How is that dumb rock supposed to provide power and stuff for this tree?!

"I don't really know the brainy stuff behind it, but it needs magic to keep the place alive," Vinyl shrugged. I just stared at her flabbergasted. "All I have to do is just zap it with my awesome magic wubs and you have power!" Vinyl said simply. I continued to stare at her stupidly. "You're not buying this, aren't you?" She asked. I shake my head no. "You were quick to accept that you're not dreaming about this place," she pointed out to me.

"*Sigh*... alright, go do whatever you have to do. I don't even understand anymore..." I say defeated as I flap my hand in the general direction of the crystal. Vinyl nodded in acknowledgement, then lowered her head to point her horn at the crystal on the pedestal, spreading her for legs out slightly to retain some balance.

"This may be bright," Vinyl warned as she slipped her shades over her eyes with a hoof, before powering up her horn. It was enveloped in a pale blue aura, the tip of it starting to emit a small, pulsating orb of pale blue light. I stared in awe as a second layer of light covered the first layer of the pale blue light around her horn, and the flashing orb of light growing in intensity.

Then, with a grunt from Vinyl, a line of bright light shot forwards from her horn directly at the crystal. When the beam hit it, it began to glow in a multitude of colours, getting brighter and brighter. After a few seconds, the beam stopped and the lights on Vinyl's horn dissipated. Finally, the DJ Unicorn collapsed to the ground, clearly exhausted.

Meanwhile, the crystal on the stone pedestal had decided that being grey was boring now, and instead was a mix of different colours that made it looked like a crystallized rainbow. I was at a loss for words, still trying to process what had happened.

The first thought that came to me was that this was some kind of Final Fantasy or Golden Sun reference, but real. Well, real-ish.

"What the hell was that?" I ask Vinyl as I turn to look at her, to find that she had passed out.

Then the whole place started to shake. The tree roots on the walls of the room had strange runes on them which started to glow. The rotten wood that had snapped behind us is now slowly fading out of existence. I look up at the hole in the ceiling, to see that the wood around it is looking brand new, and the hole being sealed up!

Panicking, I did the first thing that came to my mind. I grabbed the unconscious Unicorn around the belly and utilizing all my strength and more, I threw her through the hole and to safety. As the edges of the hole came ever closer to each other, I got into position and prepared myself to jump. Now, I'm not the best jumper, in fact, I'm not even in the normal weight zone for someone my age. So I wasn't expecting much when I jumped upwards, and surprised myself when I actually managed to jump high enough for my head and shoulders to go over the top.

I jumped a second time, this time managing to grab the edge and pull myself out, and just in time too. The hole closed up a split second later.

I collapse onto my stomach, gasping slightly due to the sudden physical exertion, panic and adrenaline boost. After a few seconds, I got up to locate Vinyl, who was on the floor near a bookcase. Speaking of which, the library foyer had changed dramatically. Instead of being old, abandoned and in a general state of ruin, it was now spotlessly clean. The floor was polished to perfection, the room seemed to be a lot more brighter and cheerful, not to mention slightly warmer. There were books of different sizes and colors on the shelves and scattered across the floor. It looked like a completely brand new place.

Wait, where'd the books come from?


About an hour later, me and Vinyl, who had woke up not long after I threw her out of the basement, were rifling through the books. Usually, I wouldn't do something like this, but I had a reason: the damn titles. Do you know what they call 'Handwriting For Dummies' here? 'Hoofwriting For Fillies'. Seriously.

"Listen to this one!" I call to Vinyl who was sitting next to a stack of books with an ice bag held on her forehead with a hoof. I clear my throat and read the title to her.

"'Predictions And Prophecies'? Wow, that's... a surprisingly normal book title. huh." I honestly was expecting something like the title of the last book, 'The Griffin Kingdom, A History Vol. II'.

"Hey, I know that book! It's an old history textbook that they used to use in schools before it was removed because too many ponies believed that the legends and stuff in it were actually legit and were convinced that some ancient evil was returning," Vinyl explained nonchalantly.

"Geez, I never pegged you as someone who went to school," I say, voicing my opinion.

"Majored in musical arts," Vinyl said smugly with a hint of braginess.

"Of course you did..." I roll my eyes before turning back to the book in my hands. It actually seemed interesting enough just to have a sneak peek. Besides, what kind of wacky mumbo jumbo could they have in this damn thing?

I shifted over to Vinyl so she could read it as well. I opened up the book and started to flip through the pages, skimming the titles for anything interesting.

"'Arcanus Jewels And Their Destiny'? Boring. 'Seaponies Taking Over The World'? B-movie rip off. 'The Solaris Blade'? Kingdom Hearts plagiarism." As I flicked through the pages, the titles became more and more ridiculous, until... "'Elements Of Harmony'?" I looked down at the section for it, but all it said was 'see Mare In The Moon'. Vinyl peered at the section, before saying:

"Mare In The Moon? That's just an' old fillies tale. You wouldn't like it," Vinyl said dismissively, deciding to glance at a book title on the stack next to her.

"I like a good story. And besides, it's bound to be stupid." I flick through the pages before reaching a section entitled 'Mare In The Moon'. But just as I was about to read it, the door to the library opened suddenly, startling both me and Vinyl. The culprit in the doorway was a purple Unicorn with a deep blue mane with highlights, and had some strange lump on her back.

"Geez! Would it kill ya to knock?" I said in an annoyed tone at miss purple Unicorn. Her reaction upon seeing me was priceless. First, it was all 'I'm-too-important-for-anything-that-isn't-me' look. Then it changed to a look of shock, then confusion, with a tinge of fear and her mouth hanging open.

"It's a public library..." miss purple Unicorn pointed out to me, still slightly slack-jawed.

"Ah." Should've realised that, but there wasn't a sign saying 'Ponytown Public Library' out front so how was I supposed to know it was public? And yes, there is such a thing as private libraries, but you need to pay for a monthly membership before you take any books out. "I knew that."

"Who are you anyway? I've never seen you in town before," Vinyl asked miss purple Unicorn.

"Oh, I'm Twilight Sparkle, and I'm overseeing the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration by request of Her Majesty, Princess Celestia," Twilight answered with a smile, but still wary of me.

"The Princess also said that you need to make friends and stop worrying about that silly Nightmare Moon business," the lump on her back added. Wait, what?

"Oh, I forgot! This is Spike, my assistant," Twilight said as she used her Unicorn powers, which were a shade of purple, to lift the lump off her back and onto the floor in front of her. Except it wasn't a lump, but a lizard. Standing on two feet. With a over-sized head. That talked.

"Did that lizard just talk?" I ask the room, wary of the lizard.

"I'm not a lizard, I'm a baby dragon!" Spike corrected.

"Dragons are a type of lizards," I counter.

"Can lizards breathe fire?" Spike asked with a smug look on his face.

"Uh... no."

"Well, I can!"

"Prove it!"

"Both of you stop! We don't have time for this!" Twilight said loudly sounding annoyed slightly. Me and Spike the lizard both turned to look at Twilight.

"Don't have time for what?" Vinyl asked curiously.

"Stopping Nightmare Moon before she returns and plunges Equestria into Eternal Night!" Twilight explained exasperatedly, also sounding slightly panicky.

"Told ya," Vinyl said to me smugly with a knowing smile. I sigh before looking back at Twilight. Then realization punched me in the face.

"Wait, Nightmare Moon as in the section in this book?" I ask as I hold up the book I was reading to Twilight.

"Yes, that's it! We have to use the Elements of Harmony and-!" Twilight started to explain but was interrupted by Vinyl.

"Woah dude! It's just an old fillies tale, nothing to get your mane in a twist." Vinyl tried to reassure Twilight, but the purple Unicorn was having none of it.

"It's not an 'old fillies tale'!" Twilight was obviously getting frustrated with Vinyl and looked pretty stressed out. And I still don't know this stupid story, so I cleared my throat loudly to attract everyone's attention and stand up. Everyone turned to see me stand, and Twilight took a couple of steps back cautiously while Spike looked on with awe. I noticed that the lizard only came up to halfway up my leg.

"Can everyone just be quiet for a minute while I read this story?" I ask the room, and the two Unicorns + lizard nodded. With that, I began to read the passage:

'The Mare In The Moon; myth from olden pony times. A powerful pony who wanted to rule Equestria; defeated by the Elements of Harmony and imprisoned in the moon. Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape and she will bring about nighttime eternal...'

"See, a myth. Just chillax," Vinyl said dismissively with a wave of her hoof.

"Wait, there's more," I say as I flip the page to reveal a picture and more text, and nearly drop the book in surprise when I see the picture.

"Blimey! It's that damn horse from my ni- er, dreams!" I state in a shocked voice.

"She's been in your dreams?!" Twilight asked with mild surprise, while Vinyl snatched the book from me with her TK and brought it to her on the floor.

"Is it a bad thing if she is?" I asked, slightly worried now.

"I don't know! All I know is that she's going to return in two days time and take over Equestria!" Ooookkkaaayyy, now I'm thinking that this Twilight pony might just be a tad obsessed with this business. And maybe this 'Nightmare Moon' being in my dreams may just be a coincidence. Besides, some of the details just don't add up.

Speaking of details not adding up...

"Hey! You never said why you're in my library," I realise as I turn round to face Twilight.

"Your library? Princess Celestia had given it to me during my stay here!" Wait, what?

"Uh, no. The Princess gave it to me," I shot at Twilight.

"No, she gave it to me," Twilight countered.

"But why would she...?" We both begin to say at the same time but we trail off as the reason for it all hits us both.

"She wants me to be friends with you?!" Twilight exclaimed at the same time as I exclaimed: "she wants us to share a house?!"

Think about it. She has given us both the same damn library. I had checked upstairs and there's only one bed. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out...

That damn Princess sent one of her goons to stay here too so I have to sleep on the floor! How did she know about my back problems?!

Author's Note:

Hey guys, if you were confused about the crystal in the basement, this blog post explains it further and in better detail (I think).

http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/306434/stuck-in-equestria-extra-a-nuclear-reactor-in-every-basement