In Sickness And In Health
I pushed open the door to the library, trudging through it, and closing said door, before slowly walking into the room. It's never nice that you know someone who's going to die, and there's nothing you can do.
Walking into the kitchen, I grabbed a glass and poured myself some water. Taking several gulps, I tipped the rest out and grimaced. For some weird reason, all the food I could eat at the party had tasted horrible, and now the same thing happened with drinking water. Sighing, I made my way upstairs, collapsing on my makeshift bed and staring up at the ceiling.
"I wish there was something I could do..." I mutter sadly to myself. There had to be something we could do. to save the Princess. Maybe combine the essence of all three pony races?
But how did it happen? Nightmare Moon had plenty of essence, why wasn't it carried over to Luna when Nightmare was purged? Did the Elements purge her magic too because it had become corrupt? Can magic even go bad? I still don't really believe in it anyway. I mean come on, freakin' magic.
But it saved me, and stopped Nightmare Moon.
And it has doomed Luna.
I felt the sudden urge to upchuck some chunks. Instead of making a mad dash to the lavatory, I turn on my side and just let it spew out across the floor, somehow avoiding the makeshift bed. Turning onto my back, I continued my staring at the ceiling, wrapping a blanket around me as the room temperature seemed to lower several degrees.
"Wow, what a party!" Twilight said as she and Spike returned to the library. The party had gone on for hours. From mid morning to early evening. Even now, some ponies were still partying, Pinkie included, but it had lost it's fun for Twilight when Princess Celestia had departed to sort out some urgent business.
"Yeah, Pinkie sure knows how to throw a good party!" Spike added, jumping off Twilight's back and heading for the kitchen, while Twilight went upstairs.
"Spike, can you make me a cup of tea while you're in there?" Twilight called from the stairs, pausing momentarily to await the young dragon's response.
"Sure thing Twi," he replied, filling a teapot with water and put it on the stove to boil, while he fetched two tea cups from a cupboard.
A high pitched scream from upstairs caught Spike off guard, making him jump and dropping the tea cups, which fell and smashed against the floor. He ran to the bottom of the stairs, looking up worriedly. "Twilight! Are you okay?" He asked, but got no response. "... Twilight?"
"Spike! Get me some towels and all the books about medical illnesses! Quickly!" Twilight half ordered, half cried from the bedroom above. Spike lept into action, dashing around and grabbing several white towels that were neatly folded, and stacked three thick and heavy books on top, before slowly and carefully made his way upstairs.
When he had arrived in the bedroom, he saw Twilight on the upper level, bent over something and crying quietly. He quickly hurried up the short flight of stairs, and dropped the books and towels in front of him when he saw who Twilight was bent over.
On the floor, next to a pile of vomit, was a pale skinned and unconscious Declan.
"Twilight, what's wrong with him?" Spike asked with worry, as Twilight levitated a towel over to Declan's head, lifting it and slipping the towel under before lowering his head.
"I don't know... I just found him like this. He seemed to be suffering from a fever, but there's too many different symptoms! I need to look it up, try and find a cure..." Twilight grabbed all three books and started to quick read through all of them, scanning the pages as they flipped by.
"Twilight..."
"There's nothing about his condition in these books. Spike, go find some more, and be quick!" She said, throwing the books away and focusing back on Declan.
"But Twilight-"
"Spike, go!" She snapped, before realising what she said. "Oh Spike, I'm sorry for snapping at you, it's just that... something's really wrong with Declan, and I have no idea what it is..." se sniffed, looking down at the baby dragon, who looked at the Unicorn with concern.
"Twilight, maybe we should take him to a hospital..." Spike suggested, putting a claw on her shoulder. Twilight looked over at Declan for a moment in thought, before nodding sadly. Lifting him up with magic, Twilight draped a blanket across his chest, before levitating him along as she and Spike walked through the library and out into Ponyville, in search of a hospital.
Oh God I feel so cold.
I woke up to find that I was no longer in the library, on top of my makeshift bed, but resting on a comfortable mattress, with a white sheet laying across me up to my waist. The room was white all over, and strongly reminded me of a patient's room in a hospital. Looking around, I noticed that my vision was slightly blurred. Reaching up, I felt that I was still wearing my glasses.
Then I noticed the tubes in my arm, connected to an IV drip. Then a rhythmic beeping reached my ears, slightly deafened for some reason. Sitting up slowly, I glanced at the source of the beeping, and noticed that I was hooked to a heart rate monitor. Blinking in confusion, I felt a slight pain in my stomach from sitting up, and I laid back down, worry and confusion spreading throughout my thoughts.
The door opened, and a pony I had never seen before, with a cream coat and brown mane walked ib. He was also wearing glasses and a white lab coat, followed by a familiar purple Unicorn and a much larger white pony.
"Where am I...?" I ask, my voice sounding weak and with less emotion. The lab coat pony walked up to look at something written on the wall behind me, before nodding at the other two and walking out.
"You're in Ponyville General hospital," Twilight answered, walking up to my bedside.
"Why?" I ask in confusion.
"I'm afraid that you are very ill," the pony that I now realised was Princess Celestia said, walking over to the opposite side of the bed to Twilight. "Perhaps fatally so."
"How...? I thought that I wasn't going to die..." I ask, looking at the white Alicorn with worry and confusion.
"It appears that the revival process, among other things, has filled your body with magic, something which it rejects, and as a result, your entire system is shutting down, being killed off by the magic inside you." Celestia looked at me, her gaze never wavering as she explained my condition. Hearing her words only made me more confused.
"Wait, what 'other things'?" I ask, hoping that I wouldn't regret asking this question.
"I do not know how to say this, but it appears that when the Elements were used to stop Nightmare Moon, it transferred some of her power to you, which your body couldn't handle." I close my eyes and sigh, bringing the arm that wasn't tubed up to rub my forehead as I processed this all.
"So, what you're saying is that... Princess Luna's magic or whatever is inside me, and is killing me because it's too powerful and my body is allergic to it?" Celestia nodded solemnly in response. "Whelp, I always said that I was allergic to magic, but I never thought it was true."
"We're trying to figure out a way to transfer Princess Luna's magic out of you and back where it belongs, but we're not making much progress," Twilight said, putting a hoof consolingly on my left arm.
"Speaking of... where is the Princess?" I ask, trying to sit up in bed again, and with some help from twilight and Princess Celestia, I was now sitting up with my back against wall at the head of the bed.
"She is in another room in the hospital. We thought that it would be easier to keep you two close in case we figure out a way to save you both," Celestia answered.
"Can I see her?"
"It would be better if you didn't." I sighed and lay back onto the bed, staring up to the ceiling as Princess Celestia waffled on about why I was bed ridden. The monotonous beeping of the heart monitor echoed through my thoughts as I tuned out of the world around me and stared off into space...
...
beep
...
beep
...
beep
... That heartbeat sensor is really annoying me. The last thing that I need as I lie on my deathbed is this stupid countdown timer telling me if I snuff it or not.
...
beep
I swear to God, one more fucking beep out of that machine...
...
...
...
beep
"Motherfucker...!" I hiss quietly in annoyance, shooting a death glare at it.
beep
"That's it! You're dead!" I snarled, swinging my aching everything off of the bed and standing up on my legs and feet, which wobbled dangerously from lack of use, but did not cave out from under me. Grabbing the mobile IV drip, I wheeled it around so I was now facing the heartbeat sensor. With a warrior-like yell that sounded like a hamster's squeak, I grabbed the sensors on my chest and pulled them off sharply.
Which was a mistake, as the sensation was not unlike having the hair on your legs being ripped off by those wax strips.
Managing to contain the scream of pain into a heavy grunt, I gripped the IV drip harder to maintain my balance. Unfortunately, pulling the sensors off while the machine was on was a mistake also, as it immediately flat-lined once the sensors where removed.
With one last venomous glare at the infernal machine, I raised my hand to he power switch to turn it off, and paused.
"He's dead, Jim," I said with a small, victorious smile as I flicked the switch and the machine died instantly, ceasing the high pitched noise. I turned to the door and made my way towards it, pulling the IV drip along on it's wheels by my right hand. When I got to said door, I grasped the handle and opened it, pulling it inwards and sticking my head out. Looking to the left, I saw nothing but doors down the corridor, and looking to the right yielded the same results, except for the two ponies clad in golden armour and with spears, slumped on the floor either side of a door near mine, fast asleep. Apart from the ever viligant security, there was no one else in the dimly lit corridor.
Sighing, and hazarding a guess that Princess Luna is behind the guarded door, I stepped over the threshold of my room and into the corridor, turning right and began the slow, cautious and hopefully quiet walk towards the guarded door. Now, at some point, I had let go of the IV drip stand, letting it follow by tugging on the line connecting the drip to my arm. somehow, said IV drip stand managed to get it's wheels stuck, making it unable to move forward with me. I had noticed this, and decided to jerk my arm with the line in to get the damn pole moving, which was a terrible mistake.
End result: the IV drip line was pulled viciously out of my arm.
Immense pain shot through my right arm and I had to quickly shove my left hand balled up into a fist to stop the stream of expletives that would have woken up the guards for sure (and warrant the use of the mature tag for this innocent little story).
Cursing silently as tears of pain dribbled down my cheeks, I abandoned the stupid IV drip and made the final steps towards the door. Luckily, both of the pony guards were still fast asleep, and I quietly sneaked round one of them and came to a stop right in front of the door. Grasping the handle with my left hand, which had been removed from my mouth when I was sure I wasn't about to scream in pain, I pulled it down and pushed open the door.
The room was in semi darkness, with no visible light apart from a window with the curtains pulled back to allow a sheen of bright moonlight to filter through and give the room a gentle illuminated glow. A look around showed that this room was almost identical to mine, except for the window on the far wall. It even had a similar heartbeat monitor with the same irritating noise!
I close the door behind me and walk over slowly to a chair in the corner of the room, by the window. Sitting down, I now decided to examine my right arm, and grimace at the sight. There was a good coating of blood across my arm and I could still feel pain so bad it felt like it was on fire.
"Well well, you have been in the thick of it, hmm?" A very familiar voice asked from across the room, making me jump in fright. Looking over at the source of the voice, I could make out a tall Human leaning against the wall by the door. There was a soft click, and the room was bathed in a dim light from a candle the man was holding.
"It's you!" I hiss venomously at 'God', who smirked at me.
"Yes it's me, here to check up on you and see how you are doing," he said whilst smiling, slowly walking towards me with the candle. "And my oh my, you have been busy, I must say."
"What do you want?" I ask, giving him a glare of dislike.
"I just said, I'm here to check up on you. You Humans have always simply loved stating the obvious, you know that?" He commented, stopping in front of me and kneeling down so his eyes were now on the same level as mine. "And besides, why the hostility? I thought we were pals," he added, setting the candle on the floor.
"Why the hostility? Oh, let me think... I'm stranded on an alien world with the only way off out of fuel that is impossible to obtain here, I had to traverse a deadly forest to stop an evil and nigh on unstoppable force from wiping out all life on this world, and lastly, and this is a personal favourite, I DIED." All of this was said with a heavy spoonful of bitter and frustrated sarcasm at the supposed Almighty.
"But you're here right now talking to me, so obviously you didn't," he replied with a smirk, which annoyed me further.
"Only because I was revived with magic, which is killing me right now."
"Oh yes, magic. My fault really, should've warned you about it," God said nonchalantly, glancing out of the window to the pale moon in the sky.
"You knew?!"
"Of course I knew. I'm 'all seeing', remember?" He said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"You are an asshole," I said angrily at him.
"So I've been told. Look, I can't stay for much longer, but since you're doing so well right now, I'll let you ask one more question, and it can be anything at all."
"Can you remove Princess Luna's magic from me and give it back to her, please?" I ask instantly, mentally crossing my fingers, as God stood up, picking up the candle as he did so, and took a few steps back.
"Yes, yes I can do that. Compared to creating the universe, it's child's play," he replied simply, before standing there, doing nothing.
After several minutes of silence, I sighed and asked "what are you waiting for?"
"Waiting for what, exactly?" God asked curiously.
"Waiting for you to give Princess Luna her magic back!" I snapped, my patience wearing thin. But I was shocked when God started to laugh. At first, it was a small chuckle, but it soon escalated into a full blown guffaw, almost dropping the candle. It lasted for a minute, before he recovered his composure within a blink of an eye.
"Oh my boy, you really do say the funniest things," he said with an amused grin. "I said that you can ask me a question, not ask a favour of me," he explained, before blowing out the flame on the candle, making both himself and the candle to vanish.
"Goddammit God," I hissed in anger, accompanied by the desire to throw something at the spot where he once stood.
But my hatred of the Holy Father evaporated when the occupant of the bed groaned. Slowly, I turned to face the bed. The bed covers twitched and shifted, as the bed's occupant moved around, accompanied by more groans.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I, uh... I'll be going," I ramble nervously, standing up and heading to the door.
"Declan...?" I stop and turned to look at the Princess, who was shifting around to prop herself up to look at me.
"Hellloooo...?"
"What are thou doing in here?" The Princess asked, her voice slightly raspy.
"Well, I uh, came in here to talk but you were asleep and I didn't want to bother you so I was just leaving..." I explain, gesturing to the door.
"No, please stay. We would prefer the company..." she pleaded, and I thought it over for the briefest of moments, before trudging back and sitting back down in the room's only chair. We sat in silence for a minute, both of us lost with our own thoughts and thinking about what to say.
“We know that thou hath Our powers,” the Princess said, not turning to look at me.
“Ah. Well, I didn’t mean to. It just sorta... happened,” I shrugged. Princess Luna just grunted and continued to think. “I’m having a hard time understanding all of this. I’m new to the whole magic thing.”
“Thou dost not have nary any magic?” The Princess asked in surprise, turning sharply to stare at me in shock, like I had just proclaimed that the moon was made of cheese.
“Nope, where I came from, it doesn’t exist. Before I came here, most of what I knew of magic was either fake tricks, or completely fictional,” I explain, with Princess Luna paying close attention to my words.
“Whither dost thee cometh from?” She asked in wonder.
“Well... I think I’m from another planet. Or I could be from the very distant past. Or the very distant future. Hell, I don’t know. But I do know that I come from a planet called Earth.” Princess Luna was about to ask another question when the door to the room opened, and Princess Celestia walked in, followed by a grey coated, white maned Earth pony in a white lab coat.
"I had a feeling that I'd find you here," Princess Celestia said as she walked over to Princess Luna's bedside. “We have been discussing with the doctors, and we may have a way to save you both.”
“That’s smashing!” I say happily, sharing a smile with Princess Luna. Princess Celestia turned to look at the pony doctor and nodded, allowing him to explain.
“The procedure we’ll perform will be similar to the ones we perform on other ponies, but instead we’re going to split it and channel one half back into you, Princess,” the doctor explained, looking from Princess Luna to me, then Luna again.
“Whoa there, you’re gonna split it? I thought this stuff was killing me cos my body or whatever can’t adjust to it,” I say, giving the doctor a confused look.
“Well, that was the case at first, but it appears that you’re body is slowly adapting to the Princess’s magic. Of course it’s too much for your body to handle, and thus it has formed a magical cancer of sorts,” the doctor explained again. “But since your body is adapting and copying the Princess’s magical signature, removing it all may kill you,” he added, noticing that I had opened my mouth to ask another question.
“How dost this procedure work?” Princess Luna asked the doctor.
“Well, we’re going to transfer as much magic as we can through a conduit back into you, Princess. Fortunately, Her Majesty Princess Celestia has volunteered to serve as the conduit,” the doctor explained (he sure does a lot of that).
“Whenst canst it be performed?”
“Right now would be the best time, if everypony agrees,” the doctor said, glancing at both Princesses and me.
“I am ready,” Princess Celestia stated.
“So are We,” Princess Luna acknowledged.
“Might as well go through with this I suppose,” I sigh, anxious about the upcoming life-saving magical transfer.
The doctor had rounded up a group of nurses, half of which went about setting up a room for the transfer, while the rest prepared both Princesses and myself. One the room was ready, we were brought in. They laid me and Princess Luna on two beds, with Princess Celestia standing in the middle. The nurses had set up heartbeat monitors and IV drips, the doctor stood at Princess Luna’s other side, holding a clipboard in a hoof, and anesthetic was administered into both me and the Lunar Princess.
“Oh, before we begin, I’d just like to mention that there may be unintentional side effects,” the doctor said to both Luna and me. “Nothing to worry about, I’m sure nothing can go wrong.” Famous last words...
I was about to comment on what the doctor had said, but the anesthetic suddenly kicked in, and I could feel myself slip into the darkness of unconsciousness...
“Whenever you are ready, Your Majesty,” Doctor Scope said once both patients had been rendered unconscious.
“One thing before I start doctor; what do you mean by unintentional side effects?” Princess Celestia asked, frowning slightly.
“Well, because we’re transferring magic from one individual to another to make sure that both of them live, well... it simply hasn’t been done before I’m afraid, Your Majesty. All sorts of things could happen, for instance both may inherit genetic traits from each other, causing potentially horrific mutations; or either one of them may become impregnated and give birth to a hybrid of both species, or-”
“Doctor Scope, I highly doubt that Declan, being a male, can become pregnant, don’t you agree?” Princess Celestia suggested, raising an eyebrow at the doctor, who looked a little embarrassed.
“It’s only a possibility...” he muttered. Princess Celestia sighed and lowered her horn to touch Declan’s forehead.
“Very well, I shall begin,” she said, as a golden glow enveloped her horn, and soon started to spread across the sleeping biped’s forehead. Then, a swirl of deep blue energy mixed in with Celestia’s magic and quickly shot down her horn to the base, causing her to gasp. Her mane, which flowed in an non-existent breeze before, suddenly went as stiff as wood, as bolts of blue energy shot through it, like she had touched a tesla coil with her horn. Her knees buckled as she grunted in the effort, but she continued to stand. After 30 seconds, the white Alicorn started to struggle with all the foreign magic channelling into her.
This should do, now I must break the connection, Celestia thought. She started to pull away, but the connection between her and Declan remained. If anything, it seemed to be growing stronger.
Wha-! Why can’t I stop the connection?! Celestia gathered up her strength and tried to rear up onto her hind legs, the entwined magical energy resisting and slowly peeling off of his forehead like glue. Then, a pulse of white energy had shot out from his forehead, latching onto her horn and shooting down it. Celestia had only enough time to gasp before it reached the base of her horn and her vision was blinded by a bright light...
... before receding, and Celestia could see that she was no longer in Ponyville Hospital, but in the middle of a strange road. Peculiar houses, all compacted and pushed up right against each other, lined each side of the road, with some sort of sidewalk between the dwelling and the road itself. Scattered half on the sidewalk and half on the road were strange carriages of many different colours, with peculiar black and silver wheels, metal bodies and glass windows.
The road was deserted, except for two people walking down the road towards Celestia. She noted that they were of the same species as Declan, but different. one was taller, but not as tall as Celestia herself. the first one seemed to be feminine, judging by her looks. She had black curly hair, and was wearing a coat that went down to below her knees. Holding her hand was a young boy, with short black hair and a snug green coat, which didn’t go past his waist, showing his black trousers. He also was carrying some kind of bag on his back, and was smiling happily.
“Did you enjoy school today?” The mother asked her child.
“I did! Everyone liked my new Thunderbirds bag, they said it was pretty cool!” The child said cheerfully as they continued to walk down the sidewalk.
“That’s nice,” the mother said, also happy. “Did you get any homework today?” She asked, and the child frowned slightly as he tried to recall something.
“Yeah, but it’s only maths, and maths is easy,” he said, his smile returning. “Oh! And I have a letter for you!” He said, his voice now full of excitement.
“Oh yeah? What’s it about?” The mother asked.
“It’s about a trip to the science museum in London! It sounds really amazing! Can I go?” The child asked, looking up at his mother pleadingly.
His mother opened her mouth to speak, but the whole scene suddenly freezed, and a blinding light filled Celestia’s vision, before receding, and she found herself back in the hospital room.
“Stand back!” Doctor Scope shouted, as with one final pull, the magical energy had finally peeled off of Declan’s forehead and snapped onto Celestia’s horn, joining the swirling auras of blue and gold already wrapped around it.
“Are you alright, Your Majesty?” Doctor Scope asked in concern, “there was a magical surge, we thought we had almost lost him,” he said, gesturing with the clipboard-wielding hoof to the still unconscious Declan.
“I am fine,” Princess Celestia replied, managing to turn to face her sister in her bed and lowered her horn, making Luna’s and her own touch. As soon as they did so, a bright light emanated from the point of contact, making the nurses and Doctor Scope shield their eyes. Celestia forced the blue aura of magical energy down onto Luna’s horn, feeling the massive amount of energy flowing out of her and into her sister. Bolts of magical energy sparked down both of their horns, before all of the foreign magic was channelled into Luna’s horn. Once it had all left her, Celestia collapsed backwards, falling to the floor.
She could hear the yells of surprise from the nurses and the doctor, but Celestia didn’t care. She was exhausted, and allowed her mind to drift off into a peaceful rest...
Oh sweet merciful God! I think I have the mother of all hangovers, and I don’t even drink!
Wait, why is my head hurting like someone has hit it with a sledgehammer? Is this the after effect of... that procedure thing.
“Doctor, I think he’s coming round...!” A familiar voice said, although it was faint and seemed to echo a bit. I tried to focus on it, and I could start to make out other voices, but they too were faint and seem to be far away. I tried to open my eyes, but my eyelids were heavy and felt sluggish. It also didn’t help that every time I tried to open then, this insanely bright light appeared and I quickly closed them again. Stupid light sensitive retinas!
I try to raise an arm, and to my surprise it moved upwards first time, despite the fact that it felt like it was made out of solid gold. I raise it up and use my hand to shield my eyes, before opening them. The light was still there (and bright), but it wasn’t as bad or painful with my hand shielding my eyes. Blinking repeatedly, and trying to focus my vision since I wasn’t wearing my glasses, I look around, squinting, and noticing that there were different coloured shapes surrounding my bed.
“Whozzat...?” I ask blearily, my throat feeling oddly dry.
“YOU’RE ALIVE!” A voice screeched in my ear and a pink... thing started to half strangle-hug, half smother me.
“Pinkie, give him some room!” Another voice said, and the pink blob identified as Pinkie retreated, allowing me to continue breathing.
“Where’re me glasses...?” I ask, squinting around for them.
“Here they are,” a voice that I pinpoint as Twilight said, accompanied by a tingling feeling by the hand shielding my eyes, and I close them , grabbing the levitating glasses and slipping them on. I then felt myself being helped to sit upright in the bed by the same tingling feeling. Blinking, I look around at the gathered ponies in front of me.
Starting from the left was a grinning Pinkie Pie, followed by a softly smiling Fluttershy, then a hovering Rainbow Dash, a wild grinning Vinyl Scratch, with a gently smiling Octavia, then Princess Celestia at the foot of the bed. Going from her right, was a smiling Princess Luna, a relieved Applejack, a beaming Twilight Sparkle, with Spike sitting on her back.
“Uhh... hi,” I say, glancing at all of them, before resting my gaze at the white and majestic Alicorn. “Why are all of you gathered here?” I ask cautiously.
“We heard that you were in the hospital recovering, so me and Vinyl hurried over as quickly as we could,” Octavia said, gesturing to her roommate.
“Same with us when we heard the same,” Applejack added, nodding to the other mares that made up the newly formed Elements of Harmony.
“Oh, thanks guys. I really appreciate it that you all took the time to come and see me.” I say appreciatively, returning their smiles. “Hey Princess Luna, you look... different...” I say, staring at the Lunar Princess, who had undergone a significant change in her appearance. Her coat was a much darker shade of blue, and her mane and tail looked similar to Nightmare’s, glittery like it was full of stars, but this mane and tail was flowing in an invisible breeze, similar to Princess Celestia’s, and was a deeper shade of blue than Nightmare’s.
“Indeed, our magic hath been restored!” Princess Luna said excitedly, leaning in and flipping her new mane about for me to get a good look.
“Sweet! Looks like everyone wins! I’m not dying again, Princess Luna is also not dying, and nothing went wrong!” I say happily, smiling broadly.
“Indeed, the procedure was a complete success. Now, I believe that we have overstayed our welcome, my little ponies. Declan needs to rest,” Princess Celestia told the ponies gathered, who bowed and walked out, saying a string of “goodbye!” and “see ya later!” as they left. Soon, it was just me, celestia and Luna left.
“I wouldn’t mind about them staying longer,” I say, already starting to miss their company.
“I know, but you need rest. The procedure was very taxing on you, it almost killed you while Luna’s magic was being transferred,” Celestia explained. “We must return to Canterlot now. I need to introduce, or rather remind, Equestria of their second princess. We shall see each other soon, I hope,” Celestia said, before bowing and walking out. Once she had left, Luna had stepped forward.
“We wish to thank thee for all that thou hath done for us. If not for you, we would have... thank you.” Luna then bowed too, her eyes glistening, before walking out. I blink, alone in my hospital room, and relax into my bed.
“Sheesh, what a month...” I sigh, looking up at the white ceiling.
“Indeed. I’ve never seen such an odd month for a Human.”
“Good God!” I cry out in surprise and shock, sitting bolt upright and ignoring the faint aching feeling across my body. God was casually sitting in the room’s only chair, next to the door at the opposite end of the room.
“Oh you flatter me,” God said bashfully, blushing.
“Ugh, what now?!” I ask God in frustration.
“I just stopped by to wish you well, and to tell you of your new goal, but if you’re gonna take that tone with me, I might as well go...” he said, standing up and heading to the door slowly. He stopped at the door and looked back at me, expectantly.
“*sigh*... what kind of shit do you want me to do?” I ask him in defeat, regretting asking the question.
“I’m glad you asked!” God said happily and leaned back against the door. “You see. you have been doing so remarkably well, that I have decided to test you to see the extent of your abilities,” he explained. “There are seven tests which you must do, each will be worthy of a marvelous prize! Do all seven, and I may even send you back home!” This grabbed my attention, and I leaned in to listen more carefully. “They will start at random times, so the first one could begin ten minutes from now, or even a year!”
“Hang on a tick! I could be stuck here for at least a year?!” I ask incredulously.
“Nah, it’s probably more than that,” he replied, which made my heart sink like a stone and making me fall back onto my pillow. “But trust me, it will be worth it. You are the only one who can prove that Humanity is ready for Eden once again, and the only way to do it is to do the tests.” Then, with a cheerful wave, he leaned back and fazed through the closed door, leaving me well and truly alone.
“Wait! What tests are we talking about? What prizes?!” I ask, but God had already left, leaving my questions unanswered.
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Why is god an asshole? Do you really need to ask?
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God bless Douglas Adams.
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An 80's DeLorean huh? well I guess there's only one way for him to get back...
80's style...
truth be told I always saw god as a troll.
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Apparently they exist. Saw one on eBay last year.
When I read the description, I was a little disappointed that it actually wasn't a Back to the Future crossover. But, even before reading, it has caught my attention. I shall see to the reading of this story.
God's a dick man
Seven tests...
...
...
(Please be the seven sins...)
It would have been more fitting if you posted this video with the time 4:10
...
*beep beep beep beep*Laura Mendsom*beep beep beep*Inventive menium*beep beep beep beep*tra goo la*beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep* hippopotamus*beep beep beep beep beep beep* Republican *beep beep beep*Daniel Radcliffe *beep beep beep beep* with a bucket of *beep beep beep beep* in a castle far away where no one can hear you *beep beep beep beep beep beep* soup! *beep beep beep* with a bucket of *beep beep* Mickey Mouse *beep beep* with a stick of dynamite *beeeeeepppp* magical *beep beep beep beep* ALAKAZAM!
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Just researched and apparently they are extremely rare. With a value of over twice a LHD Delorean, I am not surprised
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Sorry to disappoint you, but this isn't a Back To The Future story.
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I was waiting a looooooonnnggg time for someone to get that! :D
(After thoughts on the chapter)
looks at Authors Note
Hey thats my name!
Keep up the good work!
This story is becoming even more fantastic than I thought.
Whenever I read Dec I think of the Digital Equipment Corporation, I may be the only one on this site who does that.
MAN this is a great story, I can't wait for the next chapter.
So Declan is magical now? I really detest magical humans, but fuckity fuck it.
I'll keep reading.
But so help me if the Delorean runs on anything magical in nature I will jump into my computer and Gibbs smack you!
stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/1154017/gibbs-slap-o.gif
Otherwise still good. Although this chapter had a higher-than-usual amount of grammar slip ups, mostly forgetting to capitalise names or after periods.
The universe is not so badly designed...
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oh no! I'm late, I'm late!
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*crashes into desk and begins reading...some minutes later*
Well, that was an amazing story as always. Oh and I see my name there, woohoo!!
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but yes, an impressive chapter, I eagerly await the next one!
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It would be cool that the magic still in him, could surface and he can levitate things aswell as shoot magical beams from his fingers.
declans reaction to that would be priceless
sooo... are they gonna develod traits from each other? like dalek(cant fucking remember his name XD) turning more luna-ish. getting a swirly mane? partial immortality? dream manipulation?
Sorry to be rude. But will there be an update to this?
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Yes indeedy, just been a busy.... whatever amount of time has passed. Will get the next one up before the new year.
3686152 yey. If only I could meet god to get a delorian, so I could jump forward to the next chapter... he would proboaly make me blind though. Going by this story anyway
I hope one of the prizes is a toaster.
I wonder how this god character would react to someone like me, who neither believes in him, nor would accept him as some all-powerful, all-knowing being. First because he does not know the future, else he would have never needed to test Declan, and second because he may be using a significantly advanced bit of technology, which is indistinguishable from magic, or in this case god-like powers.
Hell, I'm surprised Declan, a stargate fan, hasn't brought something like this up. The Ori or an ancient could probably do the same things that this god character could do, yet he ain't questioning it.