• Member Since 12th Jan, 2016
  • offline last seen March 10th

Csanimations

One day i'll get around to writing more.

Csanimations Joined 12th Jan, 2016 · Offline

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Comments ( 6 )
Eonflare
Eonflare #1 · May 22nd, 2016 · · ·
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This kinda feels like the characters are just reading from a script.

Valhuir
Valhuir #2 · May 22nd, 2016 · · ·
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There's also a lot of spelling and grammar errors - "probably not", not "properly not", for example.
Here's two suggestions:
1 ) When you write dialogue, read it aloud, and see if it sounds natural. If it doesn't, it won't read natural, either.
2 ) Get an editor who can catch those grammar and spelling errors. Just because you use a spellcheck doesn't mean you're choosing the right word for the phrase or sentence.

Csanimations
Csanimations #3 · May 22nd, 2016 · · ·
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Thank you for the advice :)

Csanimations
Csanimations #4 · May 22nd, 2016 · · ·
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7236557 lol yeah, well I do scripts so that may answer your question.

SuperGodzilla2030
SuperGodzilla2030 #5 · May 22nd, 2016 · · ·
Reply

Not a bad start... but it needs work.

Des-Frogg
Des-Frogg #6 · May 23rd, 2016 · · ·
Reply

That Was very good

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