The Big Book of Ponies

by Prince Colgate

Chapter 4

I just asked out a demigoddess.....

…..And she said yes!

THE BIG BOOK OF PONIES
THE TALE OF EVERYPONY

CONNOR “CORKSCREW” MCCANN

Cork’s notes: I knew a lot, a lot more than anypont really should. That wasn’t enough for me though! I arrived in Cloudsdale, determined, focused on finally bringing down the Iron Curtain. It was time to reveal the truth.

I arrived at Jetier’s little cloud cluster. I knocked on the door boldly and waited for him to answer. “Oh, it’s you again.”

“Yep. I’m here for some answers.”

“I already told you. I’m not saying anything until you tell me who you really are.”

“Alright then.”

Name: Connor “Corkscrew” McCann

Race: Formerly Human, Pegasus now.

Occupation: Documentarian

Cutie Mark: A book and quill

Gender: Male

Personal Account: “Back on Earth I was called Connor McCann. I was a Historian. My friends called me Screwwy, because they thought I was a little... Well, screwwy. I always believed there was more the the Universe than what we knew, that there was life outside of Planet Earth. Eventually, they came up with Corkscrew, since Screwwy was getting old.

I was found guilty of murder, and sent off to prison. I was at a museum, late at night, learning. I always enjoyed learning. Anyway, as a Historian I had a deal worked out with the museum’s curator that allowed me to go in after-hours, for quiet research.

I was there one night and something caught my eye. It was an amulet, in the shape of the sun. It was beautiful, and I wondered what it was. The plaque read “No one knows the true origins of the Celestial Amulet. It was found alone in a forest many years ago.” I was alone (so I thought), and I had keys, so I opened the case and held the amulet. I examined it... It felt... Celestial, like it was from a different planet.

Then a small group of robbers showed up, after the amulet. Two security guards came in, but the robbers shot them dead. I took the amulet and ran. While fleeing, I fell down some stairs, since it was dark, and dropped the delicate amulet, and it shattered. The robbers fled, and the entire murder and attempted heist was pinned on me.

A few months later, I was sitting in jail. I felt... Strange. It’s hard to describe how I felt, it was like... A longing for something. Finally, I break out of jail and flee into the forest. I fell into a hole of some sort, and woke up in a forest here in Equestria.

I was alone and lost for four days before discovering Ponyville. My natural Historian instinct led me to want to learn more about the cultures and history of this world. Strangely, I was so caught up in learning, I didn’t take the time to be confused about where I was... Nor did I really find it strange that the ponies all just accepted me, and told me their life stories, despite me looking nothing like them.

So yeah, that’s me. Connor “Corkscrew” McCann. Just Corkscrew now. I’m a Pegasus now, and I have no intentions of leaving Equestria.”

Closing statements: When I finished talking, Jetfire smiled. Something about his reaction led me to believe he already knew who I was. Perhaps him and Octavia had some sort of psychic link. I don’t know. Either way, he was finally ready to talk to me.

JETIER

Cork’s notes: After I was done talking, Jetfire welcomed me inside. He had me sit in a chair and he sat across from me. There, he began to tell his story. (Now THIS is history)

Name: Jetier/Jetfire

Race: Pegasus

Occupation: Demigod/Wonderbolt/retired from both jobs

Cutie Mark: Orange Lightning Bolt

Personal Account: “Many, MANY years ago, there were 6 ponies. The first ponies in Equestria. The Elements of Harmony, or the Immortals as we were known to some. Just like the modern elements, the Element of Magic was the most powerful Element, and guided and led the other 5. The Element of Magic is the only Immortal to have kept her proper name, Princess Celestia. I, Jetier, was the Element of Loyalty.

After the elements were used to banish Nightmare Moon, we all lost our magical power completely. Before this, we all had the capabilities of an Alicorn. An Earth Pony like Octrella could fly and walk on clouds, and we were all capable of using magic, even without horns. However, after we used all of our power to seal away Nightmare Moon, the only thing that remained for us was our natural abilities, as well as our immortality.

During the thousand years without Luna, some of us were murdered in our sleep by Lunar Loyalists. I survived because I was still too fast to be caught. Docterell survived because... Well, let’s just say Docterell isn’t somepony you want to mess with. And Sapphira survived by hiding. When Octrella died, I felt it was my duty to keep watch over her reincarnations for years to come.

I soon heard of Nightmare Moon’s return, and the new elements of harmony. Docterell sent word to Celestia and myself that he’d seen the future, and there are 6 new elements of harmony. Docterell always called himself a Timelord, because, even after losing his power, he still has the ability to see (and supposedly travel) through time.

Anyway, upon learning about the 6 new elements, I took it upon myself to go and seek out the one who would one day take my place as the Element of Loyalty. Unfortunately, I found her alone and homeless. I took her under my wing and helped raise her into the perfect Element of Loyalty she is today.

There’s one other thing you should know. It wasn’t entirely the banishment of Luna that caused us to lose our power. We still had plenty of it left. Afterwards, we all agreed that with too much power in too many places, there’s a chance of another incident happening like the one with Nightmare Moon. Because of this, we all (including Celestia herself) agreed to give up some of our power. They went into amulets. The amulets bore our Cutie Marks. In order prevent them from ever being used again, Celestia teleported them all to far away planets, never to be seen again.

Doctoerell thought this was unwise; he believed that if someone from a different planet found one of them, they could use their power for evil. However, Princess Celestia was smart, and made it to where only the pony who the power was taken from could ever use it again.

This is all I can really tell you. If you want to learn more, I reccomend an audience with Princess Celestia herself. Tell her who you are, and I’m sure she’ll allow you in.”

Closing statements: I stood up and waved Jetfire goodbye and headed for the door. However, before I reached the door, I had another... Brainulation. “Jet, tell me, were you REALLY crippled for life that day? Or did you just feel like it was finally time for you to sit back and let the new Elements take over?”

Jetfire didn’t say anything. He just smiled and, for the first time since I’d met him, spread his wings. From this gesture, the answer to my question became very clearly. I nodded and left the cloud cluster.

PRINCESS CELESTIA

Cork’s notes: I arrived back at Canterlot on the first day of my weekend. I can fly pretty quickly when I’m determined. Once again, the guards let me, considering who I am. I’ve become well known by the Immortals, so I’m guessing Celestia is well aware of my existence by now.

When I arrived in her chamber, she greeted me rather kindly. However, she wasn’t alone. The Doctor was there.

“Greetings your majesty.” I bowed. “Hello Doctor. What are you doing here.”

“I’m introducing Celestia to a project I’ve been working on for years. I call it, the Ponynet. It’s a way of connecting everypony in all of Ponyville... Similar to the Internet back on your home planet.”

“It’s a wonderful project.” Princess Celestia stepped in. “Unlike the Internet, it runs on magic and telepathic connections. It’s even possible for it to connect to the Internet of Earth, and other planets as well!”

“So it will open up communications with other worlds, at long last?”

“No, never.” The Doctor answered. “Go on there and say you’re a pony, no humans are going to actually believe you. They’ll think you’re role-playing, or attempting to start an Alternate Reality Game, or something like that. They’ll go along with it most likely, but they won’t actually believe you. That’s the beauty of the human-race!” He smiled.

“Are you here to finally add me to your documentary?”

“Yes, that was the intention.”

“Very well, sit down and I’ll tell you what you want to know.”

Name: Princess Celestia

Race: Alicorn

Occupation: Ruler of Equestria

Cutie Mark: A suspiciously familiar sun (Because I totally haven’t made the connection between the amulets Jet mentioned and the amulet I “stole”)

Personal Account: “For the sake of whoever may read this book, I’m not going to tell you about the things you’ve already heard several times. In fact, most of what I could say is stuff you’ve already learned. Allow to tell you more about the amulets.

The amulets containing the power of the immortals were scattered across all of the galaxy, to six different planets. Mine happened to land on Earth, later to be found by you. When you broke the amulet, you did recieve slight traces of my power. For example, incredible ammounts of charisma. People feel like they can trust you, even though they’ve never met you. I’m sure you’ve noticed this. [I had.]

As you can clearly see, I still maintained a good ammount of my power. The power I have now is natural Alicorn power, which is still rather powerful. Either way, I’m sure the power you got from the amulet caused you to come to this world in the first place.”

Closing statements: I didn’t get a whole lot from Princess Celestia this time. She was busy with Docterell setting up the Ponynet. I was intrigued by this Ponynet. However, there was still one question left in my mind that couldn’t go unanswered. So I confronted The Doctor real quickly before leaving the Palace.

DOCTERELL

Cork’s Notes: I already know plenty about Docterell. In fact, my main intention right now wasn’t to get information about him, but about somepony else. A particular student of his, who happens to have power very similar to his own. Also his ONLY student.

I confronted Docterell and kindly requested that he tell me about his first and only student, Atria Colgate. He obliged. He seems to appreciate me, even though all I really did was uncovered a bunch of concealed information.

Name: Docterell

Race: Earth Pony

Occupation: Timelord/Professor/Demigod

Cutie Mark: Hourglass

Personal account: “Well, Atria’s not entirely Equestrian born. She’s a lot like you actually. Same general story even. Well, other than the whole “murder” thing. She was an archeologist or something if I recall. She found my amulet. Celestia aparently over-estimated the universe. When she made it to where no one else could use the power, she didn’t account for other creatures breaking the amulets.

Of course, breaking them only gives you a small portion of the power. I trained Atria to use her power more effectively over the years. In fact, she’s the reason I invented the Chameleon Arch. Yeah, all that stuff about it only working on Timelords and what not was just a reference to that TV show back on Earth. Guess you’re not really a Sci-Fi buff. Or British. Ah well.

Anyway, Atria came from another planet, far away. A planet very similar to yours. Inhabitted by a race of human-like creatures called Kaleds.... Yeah, then she was here. That’s basically it. You pretty much know everything of importance now. I guess your little book’s finished now, eh?”

Closing statements: My little book is most certainly not finished. I mean, sure, I’ve basically learned the entire truth of this world after being here for less than a year. Not too shabby. Still, there’s so much left to learn. So many ponies out there with such wonderful stories... And some pretty average stories. Still, I plan to hear and document them all! However, I have more important things to focus on right now.

CAPSCREW MCCANN

Cork’s notes: Okay, I know there’s really no way for anyone reading this to tell this, but it’s been approximately 9 months since I last added to this book. I’ve been on a well deserved vacation. Now, you’re probably wondering “who’s Capscrew? Wasn’t that the fake name you used for your mother?” Yes it was. And there is currently nopony in Equestria named Capscrew McCann. Give it time.

Anyway, rewind 9 months, my date with a demigoddess. It went surprisingly well. We had dinner at a small diner in Manehattan, nothing fancy at all. It seemed delightfully out of character for both of us. I think we hit it off pretty well. I mostly think that because of the several dates that followed.

Also, I’m still working at the Weather Factory. I haven’t been working on the documentary at all, and I should be ashamed, but I’ve been very busy. My sincerest apologies and all that.

Anyway, 9 months later, and we’re still seeing each other. I feel kind of bad for her though, because I’m just a normal pegasus, despite my literally godly charisma. Octavia’s still an immortal, despite everything. I don’t know what she’ll do when I’m gone. I’d like to think she’ll continue working on this documentary for years to come. She’s already agreed to help with it. I’m sure her... Immortal... Ness will be helpful. Also, does it matter to me that we’re still technically not of the same species, and we’re both in fake bodies provided by a Chameleon thingy?

…. Nope!

Name: Capscrew McCann

Race: Pegasus hopefully. Could possibly be Earth Pony, since that Chameleon thingy completely changes your entire genetic structure and what not.

Occupation: Documentarian (Hopefully. I would be fine with him being a mail-pony or something I guess.)

Cutie Mark: N/A he’s still sort of a blank-flank.

Personal account: …........ (Get it? It’s silence, because he doesn’t exist yet.)

Octavia’s notes: “Oh, look at that, I get my own section now too! How lovely. I think Capscrew McCann is a fine name. However, I really don’t think it was necessary to do an entire entry just so Cork could brag.

Anyway, yes, I have been seeing Corkscrew regularly for the past nine months. I think I understand now why Jetier stayed by Octrellla for all those years, even after she didn’t even know who he was anymore. Love can really do bizarre things to someone.

There’s nothing else that needs to be said on that topic. I shall be assisting Corkscrew with future entries, since I notice this documentary of his seems to mostly be a collection of his ramblings mixed in with an occasional story about a pony.

… And that’s probably the best part of it.”

Closing statements: So yeah. Nine months. Considering marriage. Doesn’t seem like there’s any good reason not to. I mean, because of my literally godly charisma, pretty much any mare in Equestria would fall for me instantly if I wanted them too. Probably the only mares in the world immune to my godly charm are Princess Celestia and Octavia... And maybe Luna. I don’t know, I never really tried to charm anypony. I should probably try it sometime, just to prove I can...

… The sudden pain to my side inflicted by Octavia just now indicates that I must be rambling again. So I’m just gonna wrap up this COMPLETELY necessary entry. Yep. That’s all. Well, all for this entry, not all for this documentary, because there are still tons of ponies out there, and the documentary can’t end until their stories are all documented...

Another nudge to the side. I really need to stop doing that. Anyway, closing statement, Capscrew McCann, the coolest Pegasus in all of Equestria. Or Earth Pony. Either one works.

Capscrew, signing off. (I’ve always wanted to say that.)

Comments

[Gummers]

You should continue it somehow. I'm loving the OCs.

[Brony Tom]

Congratz. I liked the ending, although the section where corkscrew tells jetfire about himself seemed kinda... off.

[StencilOST]

Loved each and every chapter. One of the most fun stories I've ever read. not to say it isn't funny at parts. it was just such an enjoyable read, and it shows you had as much fun writing as we did reading keep up the excellent work I hope to see more like this.
Also I loved the variation to the whole Doctor Whooves idea

[Prince Colgate]

1355

[Prince Colgate]

1355
Maybe... Hm... I don't know

[Prince Colgate]

1401
I'm glad you enjoyed it

Of COURSE Colgate is a Kaled.
Nice spin on the Doctor - not bad at all. I liked it quite a bit.
Dunno if a continuation is necessary though.

[Prince Colgate]

1533
That's what I ultimately decided about the continuation too. I decided it was fine the way it is.

This story is SO-AWESOME!

[Prince Colgate]

2239
Probably why the wiki has Horseshoepin.

[Comet]

Where te f is fluttershy

[Prince Colgate]

2499
Well, Fluttershy and Applejack will both be there if I ever make a random add on chapter.

this story is awsome 6 stars well my point of view/ you should write more/ its a interesting i could gust read more / i give you a brohove

if you could notice i dont usualy do that much wriiting in comments

well except when i commented in letter form

[green oni]

Very good expect you left out a pony you said would be in there

[Prince Colgate]

34606
Oh WOW, I did! I just now noticed that. Well. This is awkward.

hay hay i did this for fun
name:That guy44
job:you can kiss my ass
just give us the information we r looking for and you can go:and u can kiss my ass
can i kill him.no no you cant:hay assholes since im hear can i have some water
no:*fiddles with thing on meh wrist
what a-:*i turn invisable*boys the game has been changed

[Prince Colgate]

104605
Are you intoxicated?

[Prince Colgate]

34606
Just for clarification, there was this relatively small sub-arc where Cork meets Pinkie Pie and is so perplexed by her that he winds up asking Rarity and Applejack about her to learn more. I cut this out for one because I felt it deviated too much from the main plot... Which hadn't fully been established anyway, and isn't a valid excuse since this story is based around random tangents. I also wanted to steer the story away from the mane six. In the end I just forgot to change the ending of chapter 2 to reflect this.

[Zervziel]

"Octavia’s still an immortal, despite everything. I don’t know what she’ll do when I’m gone. I’d like to think she’ll continue working on this documentary for years to come. She’s already agreed to help with it. I’m sure her... Immortal... Ness will be helpful. Also, does it matter to me that we’re still technically not of the same species, and we’re both in fake bodies provided by a Chameleon thingy?"

Wait, I thought Colgate was the one transformed by the Chameleon Arch. You know since Octavia has been an Immortal pony for eons.

[I HV NO FEAR]

This was a great story, and really made me think and question what I know. Well done!

[Prince Colgate]

2563248

It's been a while since I wrote this, but I'm fairly sure the implication was that all six of them imprisoned Nightmare Moon, but over the years the story changed to credit only Celestia... either that, or I messed up/misinterpretted the lore. Either one is possible, really.

[Princess Glitzy]

So many character tags...

[Rainbow87dash]

3781688 this was written waaaay before the character tag limit was put into place

[Old Diggy]

332608 Octavia used it to hide from the Lunar Cultist's, she was (I think) Saphirra, the Pegasus, and used the Chameleon thing to change into what she is now.

[Old Diggy]

105084 That or he's high.

[Prince Colgate]

4088466
I wrote this a long time ago and haven't read or though of it much for quite sometime but I'm pretty sure Sapphira was a pegasus and became the Earth Pony Octavia to hide, yeah... It's also possible I was high.

[predatornc]

I really hope that one day just maybe one day someone (if you don't) writes a sequel to this