Ohh god what's wrong with her now?!!!!! Good chapter keep up the great work.

There was a lot of telling going on with your showing in this chapter. Here are a few examples:

“WHAT!?” Rainbow was obviously shocked by this answer.

The all-caps and interrobang already show us that Rainbow is shocked. We don't need to be actually told.

Hypothermia was not something you wanted to have, especially not moderate to severe hypothermia.

Even if the reader didn't know what hypothermia is, they could easily deduce that it wasn't a good thing to go through, given that the girls winced when they heard that it was a possibility.

A disgusting habit unfit for a lady but a coping mechanism she had picked up regardless.

This, on the other hand, was good. It gives us a look at Rarity's nervous habits even in light of her graceful mannerisms.

I'd also like to point out that there were a few grammar errors, but it's nothing a good editor can't iron out.

7301555 Thanks for the comment. Gonna be honest here I just kind of typed this quickly. If I had taken time I would have put more effort in. I just couldn't get any of the ideas I had to come out right. Though I do agree with what you said. Honestly I re-read what I typed and I even thought to myself that it didn't sound right. I guess I just.... wasn't feeling it today. Still thanks for the comment. I will keep everything you said in mind for future chapters.

7301715 No problem. Glad I could help!

7301745 I still feel really bad about not putting my all into it lately. I think the issue is I have some other story ideas I want to start but I focused on this one a little bit too much. Now I burned myself out. I still plan on working on this but I might start a second story to help me balance out my ideas. Still thanks again for your help.

7301812 I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm willing to wait for you to get your mojo back. Go ahead, work on some other things, and see if the creative juices flow again. I can wait.

I don't know if I'll be reading your other stories, but whether I am or not, good luck on your future (and current) endeavors .

Nooooo! Not hypothermia! BTW great chapter. Now to wait for the next one to see those 'problems.'

7302877 Thanks for being so supportive. I hope you do read some of my other work though, I have some funny ideas and some more sad and dark ones I am working on right now but I can't force you. What ever you decide to read is up to you. Still, thanks for sticking with me so far. It really does mean a lot.

7303261 You're very welcome !

7384119 I am not going to argue about needing a proof reader and an editor. I just haven't found anyone who wants to take the position. Though I do feel like you are being just a little bit harsh about it. I mean so far everyone else who has left a comment seems to think its at least okay. But if there is really a lot wrong with it (The first chapter is definitely the worst written out of the four grammatically wise. Chapters three and four just don't have a lot of passion behind them.) please let me know in a comment. I am always trying to improve on my work.

I hope to see the next chapter soon. This was a really good story.

7517688 I hope to have a new chapter soon, Work has just been a little hectic.

Applejack let out a sigh, sometimes being Sunset’s friend proved to be a little difficult.

That's okay then, because you aren't. If you were, you'd know she was homeless by now and you'd have taken her somewhere warm well before now.

“Don’t worry Spike, Sunset should be fine after we let her get some rest.”

And warmth, food, clean water, medical attention, clean clothes, a place to live, etc...

“This all could have been avoided if she had just told us.”Applejack was quite clear in her thought. “Why did she keep this from us, we could have helped her. Gotten her out of the cold. Given her a warm place to stay.”

Well, AJ, you all had a chance to give her a warm place to stay yesterday when you first found the shack but you all chose to leave and cosy off to your own homes. How's that Karma, girls?

8104359 See, here is my issue with your comments. Are you saying you like the story or you don't like it, because either way I love your comments and you make way too much sense out of all of this.

8104423 Honestly I liked your story so far. It's really a good take on Sunset's situation, that's why I was moved to leave a comment on it.

That being said, while I do like the story and I want to read more of it, I think the 6 friends need to look at each other long and hard and ask themselves some very tasking questions on how they acted. Yes they went back for her, but they don't come out this as shining paragons, that's all.

8104440 I never planned on having them be the high and mighty "Oh we saved you Sunset because we love you and did the right thing hur-di-dur." I wanted them to have to stop, take a long look at themselves and realize that maybe, they messed up just like she did, maybe even more. That being said, glad you like the story, I have been working on another chapter but I have been swamped with work. But I do plan on finishing this story.

8104454 Actually, I kinda like the fact that the 6 as presented in this story make mistakes and don't do it perfectly. Just like real life.

8104474 Yeah, there tend to be too many stories that are great for the most part, but end up making the main six perfect friends. Even the best of friends mess up. They are all just human (and one pony girl). It's bond to happen that someone is going to make a dumb and mess the whole thing up.

8104486 To be perfectly honest I think you got them pretty much spot on. They are after all teenagers. And, let's face it, the Humane 5 are assholes to Sunset in Rainbow Rocks

8104505 Especially so in the IDW Holiday special comic. (Which I love so much for trying to really humanize the characters more beyond being the perfect example of friends.)

8104517 Oh I agree! Kinda why I like your take on this whole thing

8104532 There is a pretty good chance I read that comic like 50 times and came with the idea after the 25th read. Although throughout the whole comic I really cared for Sunset and Fluttershy the most. They seemed the most affected, for reasons that are hard to explain.

8183855 Pretty dark, but not as bad as you might think. Just some sadness and maybe a little pain. This is my first story on the site so I don't want to go as dark as possible yet.

8183957 And the gore?

8185874 Gonna be completely honest with you, I forgot what part the gore was going to be in or what it was going to be.

I might actually end up removing that tag now that I think of it.

8185911 I promise, I am working on the next chapter. Its just that life has been getting in the way.

8185942 I wasn't saying this to rush you. I was just saying that I'll keep reading to see what direction you're taking the story in.

8187363 I understood that, I was more saying what I said as a joke for why its taking me so long. I have wanted to work on this story but life is being difficult, and now they released a map of where everyone lives in the EQG world and I now need to figure out how to work that all in. It's just getting harder to make this story work.

Is this ever going to be updated? It's been like 4 years, and it was just getting good!

“A bed alone could cost anywhere from one to three thousand dollars.” Twilight spoke, staring at Sunset the whole time.

These people really kinda suck. A hospital isn’t going to kick a saveable life on the brink out just for not having insurance info at the ready, and I would think that the life of one of someone’s “best friends” is worth more the a few thousand bucks. The only way to really justify any of this is Teenage Stupid^TM, and that’s pushing it.

Another great story that WILL NEVER BE FINISHED!!